Depression clouds are gathering.....

[Bluelondon]

That inner voice is ever so gently seducing me with promises of eternal happiness, more free from loneliness, pain, rejection, offering instead a cornucopia of positive thoughts and emotions, I lay awake at night wondering what my life would be like if I could only for one second experience such happiness. This positive stream of eternal goodness will be waiting if I just end my sad existence now. In such dark times like tonight, my way of coping would be to call a friend who would talk to me about nothing in particular however, just hearing a voice would help banish these thoughts.

However, I know I have become a burden always boring people with my pathetic issues. Without even looking up I am able to feel the pity and disdain I constantly conjure and the annoyance I have caused. It is better if I just cope as best I can and when I can no longer cope I will accept my fate and leave the world I never belonged in behind.

[Hidden]

Oh dear you are in sorry state tonight. Can I help? Will be up another half hour or so if you want to chat. x

[Hidden]

Hi Bluelondon

I can relate to your description of how you feel, ive struggled on and off with depression over the years too, I've overcome it to some extent and find I'm more at peace with things, I also have battled with the dreaded anxiety too, its never been easy and.I've cried a river over the years, I feel your pain, no doubt many others do too, the important thing is to remember, although you feel alone and isolated as if everyone else is living a life except for you, this is not the case, you are never alone with your suffering, we hear you, we feel for you because we know how it feels, have you spoken to a doctor? are you receiving any form of treatment? X

[Angep]

It's hard for friends sometimes to keep saying the same things over and over again to try reassure and find solutions. As often it just falls on deaf ears. I believe pretty much everyone has experienced what it's like to visit that dark place. If you feel you can't talk to your friends anymore have you tried calling the Samaritans ? It may help to actually have a voice on the end of the phone. Have you tried planning something nice to do? Something you enjoy. Try doing that to distract yourself from dark thoughts.