The past 12 months have thrown some massive learning curves at me and iv coped. The last few weeks I have had palpitations. Low mood but yesterday I lost it, I couldn't stop crying. I feel a failure to everyone around me. I even thought about suicide I wasn't suicidal I didn't want too die because of my babies but I thought about how I would do it. I just feel like everyone would be better without me. I had too be sent home from work last night because of panic attacks. Today I feel drained, not tired I feel drained from inside any activity knocks me out. I'm really scared I'm going mad. I'm worried that when I go too see the doctor on mon he won't belive me. I feel in despair and I can't see away out.