My thoughts are too much to handle.

[Sam420]

The title says it all really. Ive really been struggling to get along with my day to day life recently, and I'm starting to question why I'm still here. It's been a few months since I last posted here, and the fact I feel this is the only place I got real support and advice leads me to believe I have no one really there for me. For a very long time I have been in great denial about my depression, but that only seems to make things worse, I haven't moved out of bed for a few days. Anxiety is through the roof and I'm over thinking constantly. My boyfriend seems to be loosing interest in me, well that's how it seems anyway. I feel lonely. Really lonely. I feel as if people don't take me seriously when I try to talk about my issues, that may be because they simply dont care or because I'm terrible at wording how I feel. I just want someone to tell me everything will be okay. I've spent so long with a negative perspective and I've pushed my closest friends away because of it. I feel like I'm loosing everyone around me and I can't shake the sinking feeling in my stomach. I wake up in the morning scared to leave my house, I moved away from my family to be with my mother last year and I still haven't found any friends sometimes I go out on my own and have some coffee, I see all these people my age with their friends out having fun making memories together and I cant talk to them and make friends because Im too afraid. I sick of the constant anxiety, not even being able to order my own food from a counter or pay for anything in a shop. I feel like it has gone too far and without the right help things will only get worse for me

[Goldfish_]

This type of rumination is very damaging. You probably know what you should be doing; regular activity - in a job or voluntary work, regular routines - getting up at certain times, meals on time etc. Social contact - you have a boyfriend so why not go out with him. Exercise - walking or more vigorous stuff. Good diet. Avoid negative thinking, write down 3 positives every day eg I have a boyfriend, I am closer to my mother as I wanted to be, I dont have any physical health problems etc

? go and see your GP

Keep talking on this site

Emotions are common at your age. Hang on in there

[stant1981]

Have you gone to your GP? I'm no expert but think talking therapy may help you.

[Hidden]

Hi

I am not sure if you have been to see your dr, but if not please go and talk to him.

Life is hard to work out and some of us need help, being on here is a good start. Your confronting your feelings and trying to work through them. Life can be confusing and it's hard to sort through what you want from life and what you need.

Please remember it is hard for people who don't suffer from depression to understand you too. Your bf might be trying to be supportive, but doesn't know how?

Also it's easy to put feelings of sadness and stress down to depression, when it's more common than you think, because everyone at sometime gets these feelings too. I'm not saying that your not depressed, just that don't feel that you shouldn't have these feelings, because most people do at times.

I agree with Goldfish, that it would be useful to think of three things that you've got each day or one to start with. I do find that if you try to be positive it does help your mind set.

See a dr though, please.

Good luck and best wishes.

[zerendipity]

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. I can relate... I have literally no friends after I moved over 2 years ago. Going out for a walk or a cup of coffee alone? Yeah, that's me.

PPs have given great advice.

You can start by setting little goals and creating an easy routine, even if it's just some chores around the house. Whatever works for you as long as the process and/or outcome is enjoyable. Maybe it'll teach your brain to feel good again Also, exercise really helps. Damn, I got so annoyed when every depression selfhelp website recommended exercise, because duh, I can barely get out of bed. It does help, even if it's a brisk walk. Now I run 2-3 times a week and it's terrible to go but afterwards it feels great. Something to be proud of.

Little steps, but if it helps it's a small price to pay.

[Goldfish_ in reply to zerendipity]

I agree and the exercise is something you can monitor with a Fitbit or similar, even if its just for your steps each day. You could set a target to work towards in the coming weeks. Eventually you should be doing your 10,000 steps per day and if that sounds a big change from your present activity, just think that there will probably also be a corresponding big change in your anxiety and low mood.

Seeing objective information of progress is very powerful, but it really comes down to you and your motivation I guess

[Hidden]

My advice is to stop talking to friends/family about it unless they understand and can emphasise otherwise you are only making yourself feel worse and lose them. You would also need to be prepared to listen to them too to be a good friend. Don't forget everyone has their own problems in life (even those you see whom seem to be enjoying life). It can't be all take and no give otherwise friends will drift away. Harsh I know but very true.

Stick to places like this where we do understand depression and seek a counsellor. x

[zerendipity in reply to Hidden]

You're right. It's feels like c**p to stop reaching out to friends or family, but during one of my earlier episodes I realised that most ppl cannot relate, or possibly understand how it feels to be so depressed that you don't want to wake up in the morning. I remember blank stares and comments like "try and think more positive thoughts" or "maybe you're just lazy". I got so angry at them, for here I was, pouring my heart out and you just say I'm lazy!?!?

Once at my art class I overheard my classmates talking about a girl in our school who was open about her depression, about taking meds and using her art as an outlet for her sadness. They were mocking her for being crazy looney. I know they're just silly immature girls but it opened my eyes to how judgemental and mean ppl can be.

Opening up and talking about your issues is hard enough. Why talk to people who don't even understand it, or even worse, they turn it against you. That's why it's so great to have support groups like this, with people who know what it feels like to be depressed.

[Hidden]

Yes the last thing you need is other's people negativity and lack of understanding. I have only one friend I can really talk to and that is a casual friend who also suffers from depression. We offload to each other and end up drinking and putting the world to rights

God bless sites like these.... x