Back to work - very hard - hope I can keep it up

[MattBuckland]

Hi Guys

So after a full on breakdown I got back to work.

Finished second day.

It is hard, my anxiety is constant, my concentration is shot and I have lost most of my confidence. It is weird suddenly doing things that I have easily done in the past are scary. I realise after the last two weeks of hell that this has been coming on gradually form months.

I am trying to remember that I have been very ill,but I am struggling with guilt that I am not performing how I would like to. I hope I can get over this and get back to managing my illness and not letting it define me.

Still early days yet.

By the way my colleagues and boss have great, I am so lucky this way as I know that some of you have not had such a good response. In the end though the person that really needs to be kind to you is you, a lesson that I will learn.

I'll let people know how I get on. Thanks for all your support.

Matt

[Anna2008]

Hi Matt, Good on you for going back to work! Like you say it is early days, so try not to give yourself a hard time, instead you deserve a pat on the back for even going into work each day. Congratulations and well done you...

Anna

[MattBuckland in reply to Anna2008]

Thanks Anna

Came home a bit early today, bit of a panic.

Back tomorrow and try again.

Thanks for your support

Matt

[Olderal]

You keep hanging in there Matt and it should get easier in general although some days you'll go backwards-but the trend should be upwards.

By completing two days you've done more than many posters in the past.

They are early days but I'm just delighted your colleagues and boss are great. To some extent you probably earned their support by your performance and personality before you were ill but its still nice and a big help.

More power to your elbow and I hope the trend continues ever upward .

Olderal

[MattBuckland in reply to Olderal]

Thanks Ordeal

Really lovely thing to say.

I will get there, but you are right when I do I will not let the guard down.

Matt

[Hidden]

Hi Matt

I am so pleased that you're back at work and your boss etc are being supportive.

As you said, it's going to take time, so don't be hard on yourself. One day at a time.

Good luck and best wishes.

[MattBuckland in reply to Hidden]

Hi Fibropop

Thanks for this, your comment means a lot to me.

Matt

[Hidden in reply to MattBuckland]

You're very welcome. Keep up the good work! 👍😊

[Olderal]

PS .Just read your other posts , you've done very well. It augurs well for the future but never let your guard drop. You are fighting a tough enemy but one that can be overcome.

Olderal

[Stilltrying_]

Well done Matt, you are doing well and fighting the demons. Gemma x