Hi everyone! So, I haven't been on this site for what feels like a while. I stumbled across this site some months ago when I was in a dark place and googling "lack of motivation" (haha) and it was just what I needed. A kind, supportive community of people who got it. Thanks to everyone who left supportive comments whenever I posted. It truly helped ease the isolation during those dark months.
Anyway, I have been feeling pretty good and non-depressed for a few months now but the last few days in a slump. I'm feeling quite lonely. I have this big fear of rejection. In both romantic relationships and friendships. Once I form any emotional bond to a person, it's almost always followed by fear that they will ultimately not like me and reject and leave me. I think it's me projecting my own mindset onto them since I have a lot of trouble accepting or loving myself at times. I definitely have bouts of self-loathing. I'm 35 with no husband and no kids so I feel like a freak sometimes. I do have times where I love myself and feel confident, but not so much lately.
I've been doing lovingkindness meditation for a bit to try and get back to loving myself. Any one else have big fears of rejection and what do you do to cope or combat it?