Going out after work

[ilovemusic]

My body is always tired and wants to lay down and take a nap. But my soul is starving for human contact and a vital, creative social life. Collapsing after work is sooo seductive but it eats up my evenings one by one. It's an isolating cycle I'd like to break. I figure if I actually post something about it I am more likely to DO something about it.

[aj36]

Just a thought: do you have a fixed lunch schedule? If you do, you could attend one of those "never eat alone" meetups to meet new people and thus break the isolating cycle and allowing you to collapse after work.

[ilovemusic in reply to aj36]

Thanks, aj36. I don't actually have a break for lunch where I can leave, but that ain't a bad idea. What I really want to do is go out and play music more often, which is usually evening/night-time, aka crash time! I used to make myself go out to open mics about 3 times a week and I'd like to get back to that.

[jinirules]

Ooh I remember being like that. Do you do anything on weekends? Maybe do something you have always wanted to do. How about creating a whatsapp group with your friends? So even if you are tired you can pass on jokes, make plans that you are never going keep but having fun at the same time. Maybe friends can send you inspiring messages. Just some of the ideas that helped me.

[ilovemusic in reply to jinirules]

Thanks, jinirules. I sporadically go out and play and sing at open mics, but I'd like to do it more. The open mics are usually on my workdays, but they are worth going to, even if I'm exhausted. I find this forum to be pretty inspiring, actually. Who knew a depression forum could bring inspiration?! Haha. I appreciate the support.

[jinirules in reply to ilovemusic]

Oooh open mike? You must be brave I could never do that 😱 I know it's tiring but keep that up. You are doing something that most people esp me would be terrified of doing.

[ilovemusic in reply to jinirules]

Thank you! It's not like I wasn't terrified at first. And sometimes it's still frightening, but good to get out of my comfort zone.

[LoriMS61]

Hi,

Is your work physically or mentally demanding (or both)? I ask this because if it is physically demanding then it's totally reasonable for you to want to chill out after work. If it is memtally exhausting then I found that being outside, or taking a step away from my responsibilities was really helpful.

Also, have you had a blood test recently? Could you be anemic if you are tired? Could you add energy boosting fruits and veggies to your diet?

I like the idea of being in contact with friends through social media. I'm always in contact with my friends that way. I work towards my values on a daily basis, and one of my action steps is to work on maintaining relationships.

Also, why don't you make plans in advance and go straight from work. That way you don't have the temptation of flopping on the sofa and staying there?

Lori

[ilovemusic in reply to LoriMS61]

Hi Lori, was just talking via pm to another member about making plans in advance and going straight from work. I think it's a great idea.

I work at a custom picture framer shop so it's got a bit of both mental and physical demands. I think it's more just being on my feet all day and working eight hours straight (with lunch). Just the constant go, go, go.

As far as anemia, not sure. I have been anemic in the past. I seriously hate going to the doctor (does anyone like it?) so trying to avoid it unless there's no way around it. If it were free, that'd be one thing, but it ain't. I'm on birth control, which apparently depletes B vitamins. Been taking a multi-vitamin and trying to eat lots of fresh fruit and veggies.

That's great you're working on maintaining relationships. They are work to maintain, but worth the work!

[Matrix]

I can remember that feeling before I had to retire on ill health and still now I suffer . Try and carve out a life that works for you , maybe a straight after work coffe and cake with a friend before you have switched off for the day . Then you have had social time when you get in you can sofa surf . Weekends don't always have to be a night time or if they do have a nap in the afternoon . You can do it it's being flexi with . Wish you all the best xx

[ilovemusic in reply to Matrix]

Thank you! Wish you the best as well

[Matrix in reply to ilovemusic]

Thank you ,hope you work it out x😇

[Kainan]

Hi. You need to listen to your body. If you've been on your feet all day and feel exhausted after work, then it would be a good idea to give yourself some rest. Human connection is important and I applaud your spirit, but you would be doing yourself a disservice if you're forcing yourself to be out there when all you want to do is sleep. It can place a lot of stress on the body and over time it can build up and lead to burnout. Take it easy. Don't be so hard on yourself. Do what feels natural.

[ilovemusic in reply to Kainan]

Hey there, thanks for your response. I hear what you mean and definitely believe in mind-body connection, but unfortunately if I keep listening to my body every day after work I feel my life is going to be nothing but working and sleeping with a few rare occasions of socializing. Since I don't have a family life at home that's not really much of a life! I know loneliness isn't exactly good for health either, and a lot of times I get a second wind of energy when I go out. Also, I'm really hungry for a creative social circle as I am into playing music and making art and would love if either or those could boost my income. Anyhow, I think what I'm going to do is plan to go out 3 times a week and give myself one day a week to do whatever I want, and if it's lay in bed all day, great!

[Kainan in reply to ilovemusic]

Very good! Yeah feeling connected socially is definitely very important to your health. The more work we do, the more friends we ought to have around us