I can't deal with having depression any longer. I cant bear feeling like this anymore. Before I was diagnosed I thought I was happy and had feelings and could fall in love easily. I cant anymore. I cant feel the way I used to. Its killing me. I have been with my current boyfriend for over a year and i fucking love him but my depression wont allow me to show those feelings. He treats me well and he loves me he tells me everyday there doesnt seem to be anything wrong with our relationship, just me. I can't FEEL anymore. I feel sick at the thought of falling out of love with him or leaving him. I cant feel love anymore. I have all these thoughts built up and i am naturally a very sensitive and emotional person. But this thing inside my head has made me become numb to everything. I've lost joy in everything i used to enjoy. What is the point in living if i cant even show that? It makes my mind explode if i force myself, as if it doesnt want to feel?
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