I'm so tired of doing what I've been doing all my life saying the right thing doing the right thing when it seems like what's expected of me.yes I'm on meds and yes I've had counseling and yes I got support system but even though my depression and anxiety is under control I still don't feel right. I can't be myself because I don't know really who I am or what I like. Hard to explain but for as long as I can remember I just go with the flow. I don't make choices. I've always felt like I wanted to be one of my friends or someone I admire. I kinda live in a fantasy world. I been married 30 yrs 2 kids 2 grandkids and have always held down a job. I'm uncomfortable around people and don't know what to say in conversations. Then when I'm home alone I fantasize how I wanted to act and how others react to me.i don't say much and when I do its stupid and nobody is impressed. I just fade in the background. But in my fantasy I'm the life of the party and act out how I wish I could in public. And I'm so sick of b wing asked why I'm so quiet.i know I'm different but I also no I'm not crazy. Does anybody know why I'm so miserable in the real world and so happy in my fantasy world?