After a productive day working in my flower beds and getting out lawn chairs I was feeling satisfied but strangely emotionless.Later I was so tired I almost went to bed with my clothes on, I could hardly move. I had a shower and then it hit me like a black cloud. I could hardly breath. I have never felt so alone ,so helpless. I didn't want to talk to anyone because I saw the hopelessness of my situation, and then I felt the sweetness of relief. I could end it, I didn't have to feel this way anymore. What stopped me was the complete inertia I was in. I couldn't decide how or when, and it didn't seem important.
Tuesday I am calling a counselor first thing. It was a bad scare and I'm afraid it will happen again. You people are the only ones who will understand, thank God for you. You are a blessing in my life,Pam