Right now i have no idea what to do.
I lost my job due to sickness absence because of depression and then my older sister passed away. Not sure if its accidental or suicide, waiting for the post mortem report.
Its been one thing after another for so long, How much can one person take.
Tigger, I really feel for you that is a terrible run of events. If you had been told ahead what was going to happen you'd have probably wondered how you could possibly stand it.
Well,its happened and you've probably found out you're much stronger that you thought you would be. You have to keep strong , even stronger if anything, and try and get another job but if you can afford to wait a bit give yourself time to grieve ,and get over grieving for your sister.
I'm retired and don't know the position of sickness leave due to depression but if you are asked in any interview my advice would be to reverse the order in which things happened and say you had a spell of depression after your sister took an overdose and then died. This is dishonest but we depressives have to survive in a world where depression is still discriminated against by most employers, and to be honest one can't totally blame them as given two equally qualified candidates it is perhaps not unreasonable to offer the job to the one least likely to be off with sickness.
This is why I always advise keeping depression to oneself and one's GP if possible . Although I managed this right through my career (my wife knew and was a wonderful support, but she of course had a vested interest in my career ) it is very difficult. Unfortunately this is not possible if you suffer from bipolar depression type one where the manic spells are almost impossible to hide and make a career in anything except show business ( where it might be an asset ) difficult. One could write reams on the ethics and social implications of mental illness but I won't.
Bad as things have been for you I hope its some consolation to know that hundreds of thousands of people have had worse circumstances ,survived and found happiness. Stay strong and be a survivor and I hope that luck changes for you shortly and time works its magic and you find happiness.There's no rule in life that says one can not be unlucky for a spell but you can make a rule that you will stay strong whatever life throws at you. You know what they say , just when i thought life could n't possibly get any worse my knicker elastic snapped, or if it got any worser it would be better. Hang in there until things improve and they surely will.
olderal
That's a lovely reply Olderal. x
Tiger
If it helps any the same thing happened to me. I lost my job after a take over by outsourcing my then job to a rubbishy company who ruined everything this brought on depression anxiety my best friend also died that year after falling down her own staircase all I can say is sometimes really bad things happen all out of our control, but something good could happen to you tomorrow and make things better. Nothing can change the loss of a loved one but you are not alone in that. I hope these words help you
Hello Tigger
Sorry for your loss of both Sister and your job. I can take over two weeks depending on tests performed before you get the full REPORT so it will feel that there is unfinished buisiness if they feel something may be amiss.
All I can suggest is just be patient, all will sort out soon for you and family.
Losing your job for your depression is very hard, I do not know the problems you have had although it may be possible a to take advice from CAB or other organisation. and have your legal options explained regarding your dismissal.
At this time see your GP and explain what your situation is.
Are you having any treatment or CBT at this time ??
BOB
Tigger you don't have to know what to do at the moment , or even do anything .Give yourself a few days rest. All around you are things that should give you pleasure and make you feel good. A cheese roll with a glass of wine , a child smiling , a dog thats so happy you said hello to it while it was tethered outside a shop, a glorious sunset. I know that none of these will bring you much pleasure at the moment. That's because you have an illness,depression , which takes away the ability to feel pleasure because it warps your thinking.
Don't worry about it , its not your fault. Until you can get pleasure from simple things again , try and make others happier. that will give you some purpose in life and eventually will make you fall back in love with yourself. Once you start to like yourself again the world will start making more sense.
Get all the medical help you can but at the end of the day fighting depression is down to you. Medical knowledge is not yet, and may never ever be capable of doing it all by magic or smoke and mirrors. The cure is extremely difficult and beyond many but it lies, probably pretty deep, within you. I'm sure you'll dig deep and find it.
olderal
So sorry about your sister Tigger. That must have been a dreadful shock for you. Take it easy and grieve for your sister before you try and do anything.
As for the job - been there and survived. You will too you know. Everything happening all at once is too much to deal with so just take your time and do it day by day. Try not to look too far into the future but just concentrate on getting through the days one at a time. Take care and am thinking of you. Bev x
Thank you guys,
With the job aspect I was bulled for having depression which then made it worse, management knew this and still dismissed me. Its going to appeal and then may maybe a tribunal, I have to think that I am now not in a job were I am being bulled.
As for my sister it could take months or a year to find out.I have to remember she is at peace and not in a world that can be so cruel.
So very sorry. That would give anyone depression. Try to put yourself first. It is not selfish. It is necessary. Try a therapist. From my experience they help a lot.
So tired of everything...
I don't want my depression to go away
Why are the mornings so bad?
