I would like to apologise first and foremost. I know there are far more deserving people on here. My troubles would pale into insignificance compared to some but I am troubled nonetheless.
Let me just start by saying that prior to conducting a search on google which led me to this site I've spent the past 3 days locked in a space 5ft square as a self imposed punishment. I took with me a duvet and cushion. My wife has been distraught but, as usual, I have shut her out completely even though I know it is killing her for me to do so. The only reason I have since emerged is her threatening to call someone if she couldn't guarantee that I wasn't harming myself, in addition of course to the fact that I have to return to work in the next day or so.
Why lock myself away? This time the catalyst has been a job interview that I have no intention of going for, not because I don't want it but because for some reason all my self confidence has drained from me...again, and I'd rather run and run and run and risk throwing everything away simply to be able to hide away where no-one can get to me, judge me, or cause me to judge myself, which I'm sick and tired of doing.
I just need it all to stop.