Celebrations: So, it's my birthday & I... - Mental Health Sup...

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AmeliaIvy profile image
22 Replies

So, it's my birthday & I want to kill myself. Happy days.

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AmeliaIvy profile image
AmeliaIvy
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22 Replies
BettyA profile image
BettyA

No, you don't...you want to FEEL GOOD!! ... Lawren, are you visiting with a dr and or a therapist....if you know you are gluten intolerant then chances are you have been to a dr. (read that from your profile)

I am so very sorry you are hurting...I know it can feel REEEEALLY bad sometimes...We all know that...  You are very young...and!...very pretty! Things WILL and CAN get better for you with the right help.... I wish you would have told us a bit more...like if you are presently on meds or not... Maybe its time to re-visit a doctor? Please...go...or have someone take you...ok? OK!! You deserve the best and sometimes you just have to reach out and do all that you can to help yourself. Make sure you are getting help.

Happy Birthday ...I know doesn't sound like the best one you've had, but maybe it got a bit better! :) I hope so. Please hang in there! Sending you love and a hug. BettyA

AmeliaIvy profile image
AmeliaIvy in reply to BettyA

Thanks BettyA. I've got another appointment with my GP on Thursday. I'm so fed up of feeling this way. It's been way too long and, truthfully I just can't be bother with it anymore. 

I'm on 40mg of Oxatocin per day and I can't pronounce it for anxiety with it 40mg too. I've ran out of sleeping tablets but I should be feeling happy!!! 

My best friend took me to a concert last night for my favorite band and I just... I feel like this.

I'm sick of seeing my partner down and frustrated because he can't cheer me up. I'm a burden on everyone. What's the point. 

BettyA profile image
BettyA in reply to AmeliaIvy

I'm so glad you have an appt.. GOOD! Please ask to visit with a counselor and / or therapist, ok?? OK!! We are all rooting for you!! Honest!

AmeliaIvy profile image
AmeliaIvy in reply to BettyA

I'm supposed to visit one on Wednesday or Thursday but still haven't received my life through the door for my appointment. Thanks BettyA. Sorry if I don't seem too jolly but, just don't knew what to do.

BettyA profile image
BettyA in reply to AmeliaIvy

It's OK!!!! Do not apologize!! I'm not sure I understand 'haven't received my life through the door'.... I have a feeling you will be on your way to Good Things because of your upcoming appt!...Hang in there!

AmeliaIvy profile image
AmeliaIvy in reply to BettyA

I meant letter for my appointment. Lol.

BettyA profile image
BettyA in reply to AmeliaIvy

Oh!  OK!! :)

in reply to AmeliaIvy

Happy Birthday Lawren.  I know what you mean about how your other half feels.  I bitch and complain to my long suffering husband about this damn arthritic foot and now I'm going to shut up about it for his sake at least.

hamble99b profile image
hamble99b

hi Lawren, I do feel for you and, like betty, I'm glad you've got an app't with your gp.

I have felt something like you did at that concert. I went to one and while everyone was excited, I felt nothing; very detatched. 

Friends & family phone me and I have no conversation; no ability to chat.

I have felt this low before but... I now know that as bad as it is now, I have come through it before, and will again. I also know that it can never be as bad as my first time as now I have hope.

best regards,

hamble  :)

AmeliaIvy profile image
AmeliaIvy in reply to hamble99b

I'm so fed up. I've started writing letters to everyone

Photogeek profile image
Photogeek in reply to AmeliaIvy

Hi Lawren I'm so sorry your feeling so Depressed, Betty, Gemma, Hambke and Dee have all given you good advice, so I don't want To rabbit on and bore you.

Remember you said you were looking forward to moving to a place of your own with your partner, think of how nice and fun that will be, 

You are a gorgeous young girl and have a partner who loves you, and you sound very bright for your young age, so try and hold on to these positive thoughts and they will keep you going. 

Your situation may seem awful and I know your hurting because I can sense that from your Posts , but remember this bad time is Temporary whereas Suicide is permanent. So please hang on. We all care about you and are reaching out to you with love and care.

Please tell the DR. How bad you feel and be very honest, please

Let us know how you are as I will be worrying about you.

Warm hugs

Hannah x

deejames profile image
deejames

Write the letters but don't do anything else. Feeling awful just now doesn't mean you will continue to feel awful. Is there an emergency number you can ring to talk to someone and tell them how you are feeling ? Please ring it.

Dee

patliputra profile image
patliputra

Please don't kill youself with joy ,enjoy it to the fullest.

Stilltrying_ profile image
Stilltrying_

Lauren I think birthdays are such difficult times when you are feeling like we do sometimes; birthdays seem to emphasise things and in this case it is negative things. Lauren I can see you are struggling very badly. I don't have any words of wisdom I am afraid as I often feel like this myself and it just goes on and on but I won't end it incase it all goes wrong and I would advise you to try not to do that either as I do believe there is always hope.

 Looking at your picture you are a pretty girl; people say the same about me, but believe me it does help, it is one positive you have in your life; another is your partner; you have a partner who cares. You sound intelligent as well which is another plus.  I know exactly what you mean though; I don't have a partner and often feel that that would make the difference to me feeling  a bit better. Who knows?

 I hope you've managed to get through the day and manage to get through the days ahead also. People do care and if at first you don't succeed please do keep seeking out help as in the end something may work for you in a positive respect. 

Sending hugs your way, Let us know how you are; even if it's negative it doesn't matter, do keep writing. 

Gemma xx

in reply to Stilltrying_

Gemma I am selfishly glad you are back on here as you add so much to the site with your caring,  support and wisdom.   We can't afford to lose good people like you!    Luvs ya  Bev xx

AmeliaIvy profile image
AmeliaIvy

Thank you guys so much for your kind words. I did have a good day considering with all of this going on. Got treat and my family and friends have bought me loads for the house. I'm feeling... OK at the moment. Not good but not bad either. I'm hoping I can stay this way for a night so I can sleep well. Again, thank you guys. Honestly, you guys are like my second family xx

I send my love to you. Happy Birthday. You are meant to live this life x

Kainan profile image
Kainan

Hi Lawren. I agree with Hannah. Suicide is a permanent end to a temporary problem. I used to have thoughts about ending my life everyday, but I didn't do anything about it. And now looking back, I'm so glad I didn't because this feeling will pass. It always does. Logically, it has to; and as it does, you'll feel a lot stronger and develop tons of coping strategies with which to equip yourself to combat even minor mood swings. Hang in there! I know you will get through this. Keep writing and sharing how you feel. That was something I did not do until I found this site. We are all here for you :)

Stilltrying_ profile image
Stilltrying_

Kainan_li, that is so positive and your reply to Lawren has actually helped me a lot. I am a lot older than Lawren ( I am actually 58) but I have been thinking for the past few years almost constantly in the same way Lawren is thinking now. There are probably different reasons but I think it is coping stategies I need to develop. I really like what you wrote about equipping yourself to cope with even minor mood swings. It has focussed in on what I need to do for myself. Don't know how yet but it's a start. x

Kainan profile image
Kainan in reply to Stilltrying_

Hi. I'm really glad I was able to help you out :) When you're deep in the midst of anxiety or depression, there is very little or anything at all that you can do to help yourself. Often times I find that the harder I try to fight it the worse it gets and I'm just left disappointed.

But after some time, anxiety and depression will not have such a strong grip  over you, and at that point you'll feel a lot better and stronger and make good decisions while figuring out what works for you and what doesn't.

It all has a lot to do with your distinct interpretation and thought patterns. If you can tweak your thinking a little bit so that your thoughts are not attacking you every minuet of the day and getting you down, even if it's by a little bit, then you win! You don't have to believe every thought that goes through your head. Keep only the ones that serve you and make you happy. After all, our lives are governed by our thoughts. Cheers!

 

Stilltrying_ profile image
Stilltrying_

Thanks for this Kainan_Li, I'm going to have a go with this. I was interested when you talked about coping mechanisms. Is there any therapy or any other advice you would suggest from what you have learned? I'd be interested to all all that has helped you. 

Kainan profile image
Kainan in reply to Stilltrying_

You're welcome. Just by being on here writing out your thoughts and sharing your story is tremendous; it puts us more at ease when we see our thoughts written out. And being connected with like-minded people is incredibly healthy and will soothe the brain's emotional centers. Finding pleasure in something you enjoy is great; doing it with other people is even better. We want to stimulate the areas of our brains involved with decision making and judgement and lessen the activity of our emotional centers. Hope that helps :)