Depressed my whole life as i know i just forever wanted to feel normal. My whole existence and my behaviour has always been based solely on my desease of depression, how could i ever feel or act in the correct mannor or accept things in the correct way, i have many things to be happy about and instead while spending an amazing day and evening with my friends i drank i smiled and was litterally on top of the world. It was the 15th sep 2015 and i felt like my life couldnt be better and i sat back observing my friends and their happiness N mine and randomly decided that it was the time to end my life, so i said see ya walk home smiling got home and swallowed 30 valium tabs (not realising they couldnt kill me without copious amounts of alcohol consumed which i had) the last thing i remember was my brother who is big and strong and nothing will bring him down, he was balling his eyes out as he listened to me slowly dropping into lala land, next thing i remember was cops and ambos etc (apparaently i had an edrenalin shot in my chest) idont remember much after that just waking up at the hospital trying to rip needles from me, apparently my heartbeat was to high to leave. I was socdrugged up i dont remember pretty much that whole week including not feeling 2 tattoos i got that week 1 on ribs and 1 on foot....one of my brothers didnt speak to me in 3 months and my dad wondered why he wAs the only person i never sent a goodbye message to. I told myself i would never hurt my family again like that but now i struggle to keep that promise
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