Hi, I've recently been diagnosed with body dysmorphia which came from a form of anxiety and my main focus is my nose. I hate it, so much. It's been going on for almost a year now, this hatred for my nose. I don't mind the shape but it's this bump on the bridge, it's horrible. It's been escalating all this time, I've tried so hard to forget about it or even try to like it but nothing works. I can't look at someone without looking and studying their nose, I can't watch a movie without looking at everyone's noses. If I see my reflection in the mirror and the light hits my nose or I can see the obvious bump it just ruins my day, that's it, my day is over, I'll just lie in bed for the rest of the day. The other day I looked at myself in the mirror and hated myself so much thay I got so angry, I punched a door and now I have bruised knuckles, it's getting out of control. I'm 15 years old and I haven't turned up to school this past week because I think everyone's looking at me, I can't look in the mirror in the morning to get ready. I think about filling in the bump one day when I'm older but I have a gut feeling that's not a road I'd like to go down, but what else can I do? I don't how I'll ever learn to like myself. Even when I was really young I had a fringe that covered half my face because I hated my face. I try to distract myself by playing guitar, reading, writing but nothing works, my mind always drifts back to it. All my family have bumps on their noses and it's all I can see, I'm not pointing fingers or blaming anyone but my mother is a hairdresser and nail/beautician and I grew up listening to her say to my older sister 'how she looks better with make up on' and whenever I do my hair up or put some makeup on she always says she prefers me like that, she'll also always point out my spots and mine and my sisters weight and she even said one time how she understands why husband leave their wives because the wives don't look after themselves. I thought that was a very silly thing to say and I remember all her words, they stick with me. If I talk to her about my nose she'll roll her eyes and let out this sigh, everytime. I even dreamt the other night about my nose, it sounds so stupid but it's really getting me down. No one's ever told me anything bad, in fact, I've been told my nose is cute but that seems crazy, because it's so bad to me. I know noses and looks are the least important thing ever, and that's why I hate this situation so much because there's so much more, such a vast universe but I'm stuck here with this fixation on a bone in my nose. I used to act and even got offered a role in a movie but my anxiety and hatred for myself got the best of me, I'm missing out on so much. I'm starting CBT therapy on monday, I hope it works but I just don't know how to handle it in the mean time.
Last edited by Hidden
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.