Want to give up. How can I keep going?

I am 18 amd have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety for 2 years however after numerous failed suicide attempts I have recently spent 3 and a half month on a psych ward and was discharged when they decided there was nothing they could do snd5 now expect me to just cope. However I dont get how I can when I still want to be dead and have had lots of people give up on me but this was the hardest one to deal with as they told me they would not give up and then did. How can I keep going please help I dont want to hurt everyone but I just dont see how I can continue. I have not been taking my meds so I have a pile mounting up for when I decide I have enough

How do I get through this before I hurt everybody?

17 Replies

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  • hi Luewil, I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling so low.

    would you consider restarting your med's, as prescribed? to give them another chance to work and hopefully help you.

    Does it help to know that many people who come on here know how you are feeling? although no-one knows exactly as we are all individuals, we can recognise the feelings, the despair.

    please take hope from the fact that you can find the right med's; that people can and do come through it.

    I have found some helplines that I hope you might contact.

    I also found a good post from a few years ago that leads on to a useful website. healthunlocked.com/actionon...

    please come back on and talk to us, it's a little quiet at times but we do care and you are not on your own anymore.

    regards and a virtual hug,

    hamble

    Moodjuice

    moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk

    The site is designed to offer information, advice to those experiencing troublesome thoughts, feelings and actions. From the site you are able to print off various self-help guides covering conditions such as depression, anxiety, stress, panic and sleep problems.

    Mind

    MindInfoline: 0300 123 3393

    mind.org.uk

    Elefriends online support community

    The Mind InfoLine offers thousands of callers confidential help on a range of mental health issues. Mind helps people take control of their mental health. We do this by providing high-quality information and advice, and campaigning to promote and protect good mental health for everyone. They also provide a special legal service to the public, lawyers and mental health workers.

    Depression and feeling sad

    YoungMinds

    Helpline: 0808 802 5544

    youngminds.org.uk

    Depression

    Get Connected

    Freephone: 0808 808 4994 (1pm - 11pm)

    getconnected.org

    Confidential National helpline for young people under 25 helps them work out what they need most. Can put them in touch with places that can help - whatever the issue.

    Papyrus

    Papyrus HOPElineUK – 0800 068 41 41

    papyrus-uk.org

    Support for those dealing with suicide, depression or emotional distress – particularly teenagers and young adults.

    Students Against Depression

    studentdepression.org

    Developed in consultation with students who have been affected by depression, low mood or suicidal thoughts. Many of their stories and suggestions are included on the site.

    Campaign Against Living Miserably

    Helpline: 0800 58 58 58

    thecalmzone.net

    Depression

    Support for young men under 35 suffering from depression.

    Aware Defeat Depression

    Helpline: 08451 202 961

    aware-ni.org

    Provides information and support to people affected by depression in Ireland and Northern Ireland.

    Depression Alliance

    To request an information pack call 0845 123 23 20

    depressionalliance.org

    Working to relieve and prevent this treatable condition by providing information and support services.

    Depression UK

    depressionuk.org

    The mission of Depression UK is to promote mutual support between individuals affected by or at risk from depression, with the aim of encouraging self help, recovery and personal growth. We believe our members are helped when they share their problems with fellow sufferers, because they understand, better than any non-depressed professional or carer can ever do, what it really feels like to suffer from depression. These members can then share their thoughts, feelings, hopes, disappointments and successes, and in so doing offer mutual support to each other.

    OvercomeDepression.co.uk

    overcomedepression.co.uk

    Offers a unique and clear reference point on depression help and advice from experts in the field.

    RETHINK

    Tel: 0300 5000 927

    rethink.org

    Working together to help everyone affected by severe mental illness recover a better quality of life.

    The Samaritans

    Tel:

    samaritans.org

    Whatever you're going through, we're here to help 24 hours a day. We won't judge you and we won't share what you tell us with anyone else. Get in touch by telephone, email, letter and face to face in the UK and Ireland. Visit befrienders.org if you live outside the UK or Ireland.

  • Samaritans’ new free helpline number is 116 123. Calls to this helpline number do not appear on phone bills

  • Step 1 is to realise you aren't actually on your own. This step is also the hardest. Unfortunately with depression and anxiety, and most mental health problems, the help has to come from within you. You need to recognise who is there for you, ignore those who aren't but you need to fight for yourself and the positivity you create.

    I've been in a similar boat. We are a similar age. I have two severe mental health problems and have spend time in and out of a and e for attempted suicides.

    I now spend my time researching depression and suicide prevention professionally, I also work in mental health. Ever need a chat send us a message.

  • Everyone says its got to come from me however at the moment I just want it to be over and don't see the point in trying. The only reason I have at the moment is that my friend has been through something really traumatic and Is struggling so I promised to help her through it and if I killed myself it might send her over the edge and I know she would make sure she succeeded so it would be irresponsible for me when I could help her then distance myself from her and do it then. Its also harder for people to help me as I also have bpd so people don't want to deal with me

  • I have BPD. I know what that's like.

  • For a start why have you stopped taking your medication? This is not the way to recovery. You need to focus on positive things, at 18 years old you should be out having fun. What about your family? Please take your medication then you will begin to get better, go out for long walks in the fresh air, focus on positive things not negative. Only you have the power to make yourself better, there are people out there to help you but to a certain degree you have to comply with what is asked of you. There are really ill people out there who want to live but cancer is killing them, I have witnessed some dear friends dying over the last year it was horrible. Please think positive and set yourself targets that you know you can achieve. Nothing in life is easy but there are people similar to you who have succeeded in overcoming similar things. Sunny day today so take your meds and get out in the sun😎😎 be brave and positive and tell yourself that you will conquer this👍👍👍🌞🌞🌞🌞 Good luck I know you can do this x

  • Because I don't want to get better and if I took them I would not be able to create a stash for when I do kill myself

  • People can only help where you want help. I know the feeling that you don't want to get better. I do. Trust me. Yet you can't ask for help if you aren't willing to receive it. Taking your medication in a positive way is a step toward that. I have been through years of what my doctor called medication non conplicance, in which I either refused to take tablets or self medicated and ultimately became really ill. See I take 35 tablets a day. Only two of those are psych meds. I have epilepsy, a potentially fatal heart condorion, I'm blind, I'm in a wheelchair and I have asthma. That's ontop of having borderline personality disorder and gender dysphoria. It isn't easy. I'm not going to bullshi you (forgive my language) and say it is. It isn't. Yet there are two types of people in the world. Those who want help (even unconsciously) an those who don't. The fact that your posting shows you do want help. I think it's for more than your feiend. I work with genuinely suicidal people an research suicide, people who are going to do it don't ask for help and don't consider others. It's not selfish it's an automotic reaction.

    You're asking for help and considering others. I don't think you realise how positive that is.

    Now you have to listen to what people say and begin that path to recovery.

    I'm understanding you at the moment. See I'm not very well. Or so people say. At the momen I'm in and out of psychosis and my mood is like a roller coaster. What's keeping me going is my fiancé and the people I ask for help.

  • Please stop this. You obviously are reading what we all reply. We all want to help you, listen to Robin 1994, and do what he says, we are all tired of life at times but not as intensely as you. I want you to get better keep trying, you can do it 👍👍👍👍😊😊😊xxx

  • Hey, sorry to hear what you have been through! Sounds like you feel alone and that no one cares :( You have come to the right place for support. I too have felt let down by the mental heath service many times. Please don't give up because although it may not feel like it now but your life does matter. I urge you to start your meds up again as it will help in making you think a lot more clearer and slowly lift that cloud hanging over you. I recently stopped my meds and it was the worst thing i could of done..so after a couple of weeks i restarted them. And feel slightly more human again. I am here if you ever need to talk i may not be able to help but i am a good listener..

  • Mental health services have totally failed with me. I overdosed seriously and was in ICU. Its been 3 weeks since discharged from hospital and i haven't seen anyone for help and support. I did a self referal to MInd, but nothing came of it apart from a long wait, I am on the same rollercoster, but for now am continuing with meds. Try to take each day as it comes and aim to do just a couple of little tasks. Completing them will make you feel good about yourself.

  • I really do think the mental heath services have a lot to answer to. It is so sad that there are so many vulnerable people who are not getting the care and support they need. And that includes myself!! How are you doing as its only been a few weeks since you have been discharged?

  • I am still struggling mentally and emotionally. Still no help from anyone. I struggle to get through the day without breaking down and crying, night time is the worst. I have had some self harming thoughts, but have no one to talk to.

    How are you and how do you cope with lifes' stresses?

  • Mental health are terrible at the moment every time I do start to want to get better they don't want to know even when I say I will accept the help but have no chance on my own. When I was in hospital they said they didn't want me to go to my mums as we have a terrible relationship however when discharging me they forced me to go to hers

  • I am so sorry you are suffering so deeply and for so long, the NHS is getting frightening in some of its failures for the mental health sector, a close friend of mine who was in a terrible state over the Christmas period was only offered a phone consolation and had to wait a long while for that, when it eventually came she was much more depressed because of it instead of hopeful of help! but there are also many that I am glad to say have received the help they needed and making a good recovery.

    I know that doesn’t help, but Hamble has given some good links above and please keep trying to find that help you so need, it is out there even though it’s sometimes hard to find.

    I wish there was some magic wand or pill that puts the world to rights, but that’s not going to happen and it could be a long journey you have to take, but it’s really is worth the taking. There is a lot of planning and preparation you need to find from within as well, deciding what sort of lifestyle you want. That’s something that is so individual and there is no right or wrong in our choices. If we didn’t know what we wanted to head for, it makes it much harder to get out of bed in the mornings because what would we be getting up for? All that can be part of the help you are seeking, having counseling to help guide you get back on track to what you want to achieve.

    Carrying these feelings of depression around is just such a heavy burden and even when you know how to live a healthy lifestyle it’s not so easy to get back on track sometimes. We can all say it’s worth it, but how could you even trust those words! I am much older and have experienced a fraction of what the world can offer and I wish I could bundle up some of those highs and gift them to you so that you could know how good they were and yes sometimes I still get a bad bout of depression where everything but the doom and gloom has been forgotten, but the older you get the easier it is to overcome these spells and learn techniques that can help set you up for the future.

    No matter what’s on the outside, we are all pretty much the same colour on the inside, our bodies need the same nutrition, love, care and tenderness. If you are not able to do much at the moment, please just try to accept yourself as a lovely warm loving person that still has some fight inside who will never be alone in this world even though sometimes that’s what it sometimes feels like. Try to hold on to the things you like and know that as yet, there can be many more to add to life’s experiences.

    Stick around here and make friends, there are some lovely people your own age that also struggle with the ups and downs of their lives, sometimes just talking can ease the pain.

    Take care, lots of hugs, Moni xxx

  • Dear Luewil.... are you seeing a psychiatrist right now? You really should be... you need to tell your drs or your therapists just exactly the way you are feeling right now.... You see...I believe that somewhere in you, YOU DO CARE and YOU DO want to live.... otherwise you never would have bothered with these posts... You DO need help and I believe it IS available to you....

    Please stop thinking death is the answer.... Please do not do this to your family or your friends.... I have a feeling you are not realizing that they DO care....

    Please, you owe it to yourself...all on your OWN....visit with your dr and tell him exactly what you have told us....and then please, start taking your meds again....Please.

    Sending you love and a hug,

    BettyA

  • The only friends I have also wantto kill themselves and y family don't give a shit. I know part of me wants to get better but it's not enough and I have my care coordinator but nothing else and she is nice but I don't fing it easy to tell her how I feel and help is not available as they dont want to give me any and my meds didn't work anyway I took them everyday for 2 months without them doing anything.

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