So I'm single, and I have depression, but I'm really good at hiding it when I do socialise. And get this, men find me attractive and ask me out all the time. Honestly. Me!!!
But the problem is WHAT do you tell them? WHEN do you tell them? DO you tell them? about the big bad depression!!!
I just feel like my last 2 relationship's failed (spectacularly!!), because they just saw me as this happy, outgoing, funny woman, but they didn't see how tough that was to keep up, and I hid my illness and my tears and my struggles, until I just couldn't keep up the charade any more and then I cracked, and then I was dumped, by text!! Both times!!! And trust me, I took the failure of BOTH these relationships REALLY badly.
But what AM I supposed to do. Some guy comes along, he finds me attractive'interesting/funny/desirable, whatever. Do I just slip into the conversation, 'oh hey, I have severe depression, anxiety, panic attacks, been in hospital because I've felt suicidal, can't hold down a job, quite possibly never will again' etc. It's hardly pillow talk is it? Isn't every man just going to turn tale and run for the hills any way? And even if he doesn't. Is he really going to understand what he's getting into? And what living with and loving a person with depression REALLY means?
What have the rest of you done? Surely we're not ALL permanently single?????
Would welcome some advice.