Hi guys, some of you may know from my previous post about finding out my partner was on a dating site or what he liked to call it a "chat site". It's been a few weeks now since I found out and I thought we were very slowly moving on and everything was okay until I realised that we'll actually, it's not going to be that easy especially when I see him liking photos of these "dream girls". Now I know it's a mega crappy thing is Facebook but I was never bothered about stuff like that until this happened before Christmas. It's made me realise I need to think about this relationship. He has destroyed every trace of confidence I ever had and worked up on since my breakdown in 2011. I'm currently sitting in bed at quarter to 4 in the morning and I'm up for work at half 6 all because I'm feeling so down and insecure. I'm thinking about staying with a friend for a few days just to clear my head and see if it will work out etc. I love him with all my heart but I know in myself I can't stay with him if I can't get over it. This kind of betrayal is massive for me, mentally. Even though nothing got physical. It's still breaking boundaries. I've been wanting to cut myself again for these past few days and have refrained from doing it because I know if I do, that'll be it. All the hard work I've done since my break down will be gone and I don't want to disappoint myself like that. I need that confidence back. I need to feel like I'm good enough. I need to feel like I'm sexy again because right now, the only thing I'm seeing is no way back. I'm falling apart and I feel every little piece of me hitting the ground and its killing me.
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