It's Christmas Day and it took al my strength to get out of bed and socialise with my mum dad brother and gran. Feel tearful and just wana be alone in my bed. It's now afternoon and iv gone back to bed for a nap. Been on anti depressants for years. Felt like this for a while. Have a lovely friends and boyfriend but never feel like seeing anyone :( please can someone offer some advise to help me I hate feeling like this wana go back to feeling carefree!

5 Replies

  • Congratulations on being so honest. I think you need 3 things

    1 your meds might need reviewing. They can stop having the necessary effect.

    2. You may need therapy, yes including again. Sorry to say, happens to most of us.

    3. You may need to be honest at terrible times vs push yourself in tiny increasing increments.

    Please don't let your relationships fade. However you may feel, they are vital to us as a social specie, and to your physical AND mental health

    I'll give a hand for a partner and family. I am alone too right now. Friends have the joyest habit of abandoning people with mental health. So have only a couple left.

    Just know you are not alone or not undertood. My thoughts are with you and those truggling extra hard right now.


  • Hi,

    Feeling as you do is terrible any time of the year at Christmas it can seem far worse.

    From what you've said you have family, friends and a boyfriend all of which is positive :)

    It does seen like you are stuck, your response to how you feel is to isolate yourself, go to bed and not engage. Although understandable it's unlikely to help and if anything will only help reinforce the negativity you feel.

    You mention being on anti-depressants for years and whilst they (like many forms of support / treatment) can help they will only ever be part of a solution. Overcoming depression is never easy and it's unlikely you will simply wake one day and everything will be OK.

    As difficult as things seem, acknowledge the steps you take and do more of them. Try to avoid the temptation to run back to the sanctuary of your bedroom (in the long run it doesn't help).

    Today, you have done well, you have spent time with family, GREAT.

    If having spent time with family you need some alone time (and this time of year many, many people feel like that !), then instead of hiding do something a little more constructive, for example go for a walk (you will probably need an umbrella).

    More than anything you need (and small steps) to get away from actions / places that reinforce the negativity. The more you can do this the easier it will become and it time the more rewarding it will be.

    Things can get better, wanting them to is a prerequisite (and often the hardest first step to take), but you have done that :)

    You have got out of bed :) You have spent time with family :)

    OK, you went back to bed, but you came on here to ask for help, again this is a positive... see how well you are doing?

    It's now time for the next step....

    You can do it and as you do it will get easier and as it get easier it will get better.

    I do wish you all the very best.

  • Just try and be yourself

    Christmas can be a bloody awful time for many, we used to travel at this time off the year as my family at Christmas used to fight and bitch on.

    We visited many countries as this time of the year, just to get away from family, when we had returned they had all fell out with each other and when we returned we were nice and brown and relaxed.

    Now I have no family and my Wife has family all over the UK and abroad. When we travelled we did spend time with those who were abroad and those memories still radiate our Christmas and New Year Holidays.

    All I can really say is be thankful you have family around you at this time of the year.

    Many have Christmas all alone with no-one to keep them company


  • Thank you all for your messages I only joined this forum last night and am already finding it helpful.

    I took on board you advice and got back out of bed and went and played scrabble with the family.

    Your all right shutting people out won't help in long run I need to take small steps.

    My medication has just been amended few weeks ago from Sirtuline to Citalopram so maybe I'm still adjusting.

    Going to have a positive nights sleep and try and look forward to Christmas and shopping with my boyfriends family tomorrow. I find his mother incredibly over whelming but I know if I wana stay with my boyfriend I need to learn to cope with his mother.

    thank you again for all your advice and hope everyone has had a lovely Christmas

  • Hi there ,I agree with everything Annunnaki and the others say but I will add one more thing ,in a few weeks you could feel so much better ,but first you must make the first step by seeing your dr .

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