I can't do it anymore

I feel so alone and trapped into my own thoughts, I overthink every situation and it's usually for the worse and people keep telling me "think positive" I just think it's one of those saying that's easier said than done. It's one of those times where I'm not eating properly, I cry almost every night and again thinking the worst of the situation and I wake up in the middle of the night or early hours in the morning all sad and tearful like I don't want to get up and go into the outside world today, I just want to curl up in my bed and not face anyone. I've got to the point now where I'm scared, nervous and anxious about what's next for me and who else wants to push me down to make me feel every worse. I just want to be happy again but I'm very much far away from that point right now. I want people to listen to me and understand that behind the fake smile is an emotional teenage wreck of a girl. I give up and I really do.

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  • Hi Sophia, I'm very much like you I overthink things to and it's not good but that's depression doing that to you it's like a demon we carry around with us. It's easy for people to say think positive, when they are bright and cheery but we didn't choose to be down and depressed it chose us. I think you should try talking to someone ie parent, doctor but someone who can maybe help to get you out of this black hole that you are in. It's good you came on here as people will reply and you will know your not alone and people will listen. I want to be happy again and like you that seems far away. I hope you do make an appointment with your doctor let them know how you are feeling and things just might turn around for you. Take care Sophia I wish you all the best and remember someone here is always willing to talk, Big hugs P.S don't give up .

  • Hello Robbie, I'm sorry to hear you're feeling like this too! Every person I have tried speaking to have just told me the same things like move on, stop thinking the worst of the situation, be happy, I'm here for you and it's the same old.. I find it hard talking to my parents because my mum is physically ill herself and has had a condition for 9 years so me moaning about how I feel, it just doesn't seem fair or right. All I keep thinking at the moment is what is happiness? I used to be happy and now I constantly feel so low. I'm booking a doctors appointment this afternoon so fingers crossed I can get the help I might need to give me a bit of a boost back up there. Thank you for your kind words Robbie and I hope you take care and feel better soon, I'm always here for a chat if you need someone to talk too. Big Hug, Sophia. X

  • That's great let me know how you get on. I'm sorry to here about your mum that won't be helping matters, I know the people that are saying move on are trying to help but if it was that easy I'm sure we would all do it. No one knows how depression works unless they have had it and we wouldn't wish that on our worst enemy. Wish we could all be positive. Lots love big hug xx

  • Hi Sophie please go see your doctor or practice nurse and get some help , Big hug Pat

  • Hello Pat, I'm off Doctors this afternoon after putting it off for several days. I just hope I can get a little help and maybe the little boost I need to start being happy again... Just maybe! Hugs, Sophia X

  • Well done Sophie let us know how you get on. That first step is the hardest. I'm going tomorrow morning hoping to start being weaned off my medication. I have been having more good days than bad lately so we will see. Pat X

  • Hi

    I'm an over thinker. Everyone thinks negative thoughts sometimes. It's not a bad thing it just depends how you are thinking about something. Being possitive when you don't feel that way is really hard, so try a different way.

    What ever it is think of alternatives. If you think someone is angry with you, think about an alternative explainations, may be they were having a bad day.

    I'm betting that you keep a list of all the bad things in your head, I know I used to. It keeps your focus on those bad things and they can be really bad and upsetting. Try keeping a list write it down if you need to of all the exceptions to those bad things. Keep your eye out for things that make you feel a little better. We are not looking for happy, just not as sad. Recognise your achievements, even if it is getting yourself a drink or getting out of bed. When you feel bad it can be the equivalent to climbing mount everest.

    How likely is the thing you are concerned about? Are there other possible outcomes or explainations? Try to think of how you want things to be, rather than how things are. Is there anything you can do to make things better? Make a plan.

    Then think, is there anything you can do about it right now. If you can't do anything about it right now then make a plan about what you are going to do. Don't beat yourself up if you don't do everything in your plan, think I've achieved this much and add the plan to tomorrow. Sometimes it's better not to do anything at all. You don't have to have all the answers right now.

    If there is nothing to be done then ask yourself about your reasons for focusing on it. Don't beat yourself up, it's part of who you are and that is alright. Give yourself time during the day to think about the problem, make an appointment with yourself and limit the time. Don't try not to think about something, that will guarantee it's all you can think about. Just think that you'll think about it later. Keep a store of things that make you feel better. Nice things you are going to do for yourself.

    Puppy Long Stocking situations. It's a game where you think about the positives in the most awful situations. Hey you may have got crutches for Christmas instead of the gift you wanted but at least you don't need them!

    Recognise when others are less than perfect, notice when you are less than perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone is less than they want to be, nobody always gets things right all the time. When you find yourself going over the same things again and again ask yourself if you are going over the same old ground again or if you are learning something new and if this is what you need to do.

    If you don't eat and don't sleep then you are not able to think clearly. The things you think will be negative because physiologically that is the way we are made. Sometimes an hour or so after eating our thoughts become clearer. It's a physiological effect. Recognise when your thoughts go down and eat or drink, it's your bodies way of letting you know, you need to look after it. I know it's really hard.

    I am guessing after sharing on here, with people you know understand and care makes you feel better. Do that. Distract yourself, with whatever it takes, When you start to "go down the rabbit hole" of negative diatructive thoughts ask yourself if it's helping you.

    I am just letting you know, the things that work for me. I hope that it gives you some ideas about how to find your way through this. It took me years and years to work this out. I had a lot of counselling. I slipped back lots of times. It took a lot of practice. I still get negative thoughts and I still feel sad sometimes. Emotions aren't wrong or right they just are. We feel and that can't be controlled. I still cry, sometimes when I don't want to. It's other people's reaction to it that's hard. Over all I feel happy though. It's worth the effort. I stopped asking when will I stop feeling like this and started to ask what can I do to make myself feel better?

    I really hope that you don't feel I'm another think possitive type because when I was at my worst it was the last thing I wanted to hear. I would say think exception. I would say feel what you do and recognise it's ok. I would say recognise your achievements no matter how small. I really hope this helps. I would say people care about you and your suffering. I recall what it feels like and it is truly awful. I believe in you.

    Ally

  • Sophia

    Good Luck with your appointment, let us know how you get on

    Christmas for depressives can be on miserable time, so If I can give support you know where I am

    BOB

  • Knock knock are you here Sophia, not heard from you since 8 days ago.

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