Suicide: OK so I came the closest I've... - Mental Health Sup...

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Suicide

Leo142 profile image
10 Replies

OK so I came the closest I've ever been to telling someone how I feel but as my mum shouted at me this morning to get up for school and it turned I to a argument by that I mean she shouts at me until m I. School I wondered her life would be better without me maybe I should of killed myself in January my mum is the only reason I didn't but I feel like that reason has gone now all that's left is a 16 year old that's been unhappy for over a year now and doesn't care about living anymore what way would be less painful for my family to find me my life is pointless w

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Leo142 profile image
Leo142
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10 Replies
ThemysciraDrive profile image
ThemysciraDrive

Hi Leo,

Life is never pointless. Depression is an illness, and making you think that way is a symptom, try as much as you can to hang on to that thought. I know how real it seems at the time, I've been there. Find any reason you can, doesn't matter what it is, to keep you through the day, one day at a time. It doesn't have to be deep, it doesn't have to be meaningful, whatever works will do. It doesn't matter if it's completing a level on Halo or something, as long as it works.

The thing about being 16 is, its the legal age of consent. You can go see a doctor and get treatment, and they aren't obliged to tell your parents if you don't want them to. There really is no substitute for that, if you haven't told anyone how you feel, then make the first person you tell your GP. Once you have a diagnosis and treatment, it actually gets easier to tell people about it.

I know it sounds trite, but arguing with your mum is normal teen stuff. If she argues with you and shouts at you, it's probably a sign that she cares more than anything else.

Please check in here when you feel you can and let us know how you are. We don't think your life is pointless, and we would very much like you to hang around.

Themys

Photogeek profile image
Photogeek

Hi Leo, Themys has given you very sound advice. You are 16 and most teens parents

Shout maybe and boss the kids around as they are trying to get them to

" hurry up" or " eat up" or other stuff. In fairness to your Mum she probably has

No idea that you are suffering like this.

Leo you are a teen but you can make a good choice right now and that is to

Confide in your Mum and get yourself along to your GP. Otherwise. Nothing will

Change in your life, if you do nothing, then nothing will change and you will

Be stuck. So please Leo your Mum s who you should be talking to, as she can

Help you as a Mum should do if given the chance.

Let us know how you get on .

Hannah

Maria1971 profile image
Maria1971

Dear Leo

I understand how you feel, your mum needs you and you need her so be honest with her and tell her how you are feeling. My son went through the same thing at the age of 16 and he also thought of suicide the only way I found out was when he didn't come home. I felt sick with worry because I loved him dearly and it's easy to forget day to day with routine and work to tell each other how you really feel. Mum's worry a lot and even though it may have seemed that she was only concerned about you going to school at the time it would have been more than just that. I felt helpless when my son was going through what he was feeling I wanted more than anything to take the pain away but didn't know how to or where to start. Depression is a very serious illness and there are no quick fixes, you need to see a doctor and tell them how you feel. I went with my son to the GP and the doctor did refer him for further mental health assessments but they took to so long to respond I eventually paid for him to go privately. It is not easy growing up coping with the stress of exams, relationships and friendships and the added pressure of not knowing what to do next. Your mum was once your age as well and she will remember this, I hope she does.

My son is now 19 and has a job and is controlling his condition he knows I will always be there for him even though we may disagree on things from time to time. I know you love your mum and wouldn't want to do anything to hurt her but you need to look after yourself, get help, you are not alone.

If you need to talk you know I am here for you.

Love Maria xxx

Olderal profile image
Olderal

Leo,you've hardly started your life. Everyone's life is pointless or at least no one has yet been clever enough to work out it's point.

However when you're happy life can be pleasant which is better than neutral (being dead is neutral-you ain't happy but you ain't unhappy). So if you can't be happy at the moment why not make your Mum's life happier and everyone else you meet. That way you'll put the total human happiness up, which is better than neutral or putting it down.

If I were you I would n't even start to think about the point of life until you're 66 ,not 16, and you still won't know then and I'll bet you your pocket money that when you are 66 no one else will know either.

Olderal

Mogi52 profile image
Mogi52

Hi Leo, first of all I'm sending you a big hug, I have a 15 year old son and he went through these feelings too , please talk to your mum, believe me she will be so glad if you open up to her , my son eventually did tell me after trying to cope for months feeling this on his own, we cried and cuddled and talked and went to the doctors together , you have been given some great advice from Themys, and you have this forum to talk to as well . This is a hard time in your life with regard to hormones raging through your body and facing what you want to do as a job , exams etc and it helps to talk so please please talk to your mum , please take care and let us know how you are , hugs to you xxxx

Maria1971 profile image
Maria1971

Hi Leo

I hope you're ok, just really worried about you. Take care x

Kainan profile image
Kainan

Hi Leo. Please talk to your mom about your trouble. She is the one person in the entire world who loves you unconditionally, more than anyone else; she would love nothing more than to love you, listen to you, and understand you in your time of need.

I understand exactly where you are coming from. I'm 23 and I've had bouts of severe depression and anxiety for years and when I feel really down and life is pointless and nothing will get better, i call my parents and talk to them for hours about what is troubling me. Your mom is always someone you can count on and confide in.

If you don't want to talk to your mom, then please find a trusting friend, a school counselor, pastor, whoever. Make sure you find someone you really trust so that you can really open up and and dig deep down into you soul and release every last bit of pent up anxieties that is bringing you down. If you hold them inside, they will only wear you down even more and cause you more worry.

Please understand that life is never pointless and that suicide is never an option. It is only a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Being unhappy for a period of time is infinitely better and more favorable than being dead. It forces you to stop and reflect on what you've been doing, and in the process allows to to better know yourself and what you value in life. You will also learn to develop coping strategies that will assist you for your entire life. Suicide is something you can never take back and will only leave your mom in grief and despair.

Please consider talking to your mom. She loves you more than anyone. And let us know how you're doing because veryone on here cares about you

spots1 profile image
spots1

Hey Leo .... Many times I have felt like giving up and ending life ....BUT I am still here , sometimes the thoughts are the cry for help that you need . Talk to your mum or GP . Being a teenager can be difficult ( although I am long past that age ! ) your life and career is in front of you and yes it will be hard to know what path in life you wish to take but with family input and love you will get there . I have often wondered what effect shouting at my own children had on them but tbh they have gone and progressed and even said to us that when we did disagree with what they did and shouted etc. they eventually looked back and realised why and used the situation to look at what the future held for them . We can`t all be perfect parents but as a parent we do strive to do our best ...remember you are an individual who is finding a route to your future and that is not an easy task , you don`t have to agree with anyone of you don`t wish but please remember that giving up and comiting suicide is not the answer . If you cannot chat to parents then try to find a teacher or friend or other family member or even your GP to tell your concerns tand worries and thoughts to. We on here will always check in and give our own advise many of us have been there and some still are but use this site as an outlet we won`t judge you but will try to help you make the right decsion along your pathway to adulthood .

Hang in there make 2016 your year to shine !

Incomplete profile image
Incomplete

Leo.

I'm hoping you're well. I saw your post and it reached out to me - like seriously, it wasn't that long ago that I was in your situation. 

It's a difficult thing, I am not in a dissimilar situation now. The problem with being forced to live with one's parents (by virtue of age, disability etc) is that they will expect the control and authority they had when we were little kids. That is normal, to a parent, their child is ALWAYS a child. They don't really grow up. The issue is then not necessarily with the parent, rather we blame ourselves for not being able to escape. 

Yet it isn't our fault - it isn't theirs. 

So no one is the blame right? That's the hardest thing on earth to believe. Much harder to accept. You are however doing the right thing, you are trying to find support to get you through. You're searching as it were for life lines and you've found them. So keep fighting yeah? 

I'm always around if you want to drop me a message if you're feeling down. Not saying I can do much but, I have some mental health training. More importantly, I sort of understand. 

I still live with my mother and she often shouts at me because of the strained relationship we have. It's very strained. I'm in higher education, she doesn't see this as work. I also work for a living, she doesn't see this as work. The reason I can't get out? I have 12 long standing disabilities - she doesn't see these as a problem. So it is easier to forget that parents for the most point love you, often they want what's best for you and because of this they are blinded to the truth of things. That sometimes they just shouldn't interfere and sometimes they need to give us a break. 

Anyway, the offer stands. If you need a chat ever, I am here. If you don't then thats great :) I just hope that you keep fighting. Never, ever give up. 

spots1 profile image
spots1

Hi Leo , Trusting that you are finding a way to combat your thoughts & feelings . Remember to make 2016 your year I do hope that you are doing just that . Take care :)

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