I need to sort my mind

Hi I am now 38 and been on medication for years I am now on sertraline 100 mg but feel like am going mad, my mood swings are seriously affecting my job my manager and work colleagues

Don't want me around anymore and have basically asked my to think if I want to work there I have taken this week off work as I walked out on Monday saying I had a stomach bug, I have lost all my friends over the years because I am never happy, I have lost interest in everything and just hid away getting fatter by the day, I have stupid thoughts on ending my life but I am to scared it will go wrong I just look in the mirror and see a fat miserable waste of space I no I need to change everything just gets on top of me and I feel guilty as people are worse of than me I know but my head just won't let me be thankful and happy!! Just don't know what to do am spending my life miserable and alone ;-((

12 Replies

  • Hi it doesn't seem like sertaline is working well for you anymore and maybe you need an increase in it or a different ad. Go back to your doctors and have a chat and see what they say. Have you had any counselling? That might help too. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and hope so please don't give up.

    Depression is an illness just like any other and needs proper treatment. You are viewing the world through the veil of depression and you can't trust those perceptions as they are false - they are 'impaired thinking'. Ok? x

  • Thanks for your reply, trying to get to see a doctor is hard but will ensure I do tomorrow, this is my 3rd anti-depression pill now and I am so embarrassed to talk to a counsellor as when I was in hospital for taking a overdose nothing ever come of it so haven't tried again just need to get my thoughts positive but it's hard

  • Hi. I agree with the suggestion that Sertraline is no longer working for you. I'm in the process of getting off it. 100mg worked for me for about 6 years but then I had to increase it to 150mg to have the same effect. Short ago I was sinking down into depression again and I didn't think it was a good idea to increase again so I decided to come off them gradually with the guidance of my doctor.I am now down to 50mg a day and feel much better.It will be 2016 before I stop them. That will be the testing time but I'm going to try my hardest to be tablet free. Please speak to your doctor about how you are feeling. There's no point in continuing with Sertraline if they are not helping you but you must do this with your doctor's advice--not on your own. x.

  • Hi, can I just ask you please, do you feel better as a direct result of decreasing the Sertraline? I mean, do you think the Sertraline was directly contributing towards you getting depressed again, and that because you are coming off it you are getting better? Or, are you coming off it because it had helped you reach a point where you were a lot better? I hope my questions make sense, I was trying to think of a better way to phrase them so as to not be misunderstood! The reason I ask is that I am on Sertraline at the moment, and I had tried to taper off them in the past but noticed my mood going downhill, as did my husband and son, so I went back to the normal dose again and things improved again. Since then I have managed to cut it by a half a tablet every other day but I'm afraid to try to taper off again in case my mood goes downhill again, as I'm doing ok right now (with the odd few dodgy days thrown in just to upset the applecart for me, just when I think I'm getting to a better place!). I'm just really interested to see how Sertraline affects other people, if they have noticed any patterns emerging, etc. I know everyone is different and obviously I wouldn't just drop taking them without tapering just from reading how they affect others, I am just really interested in effects on other people to see if there is any trend. I hope this garble makes some kind of sense, many thanks! x

  • Hi WW I think the guidelines say you should be feeling well again for at least 6 months before trying to come off them. Many people try and come off them too soon and consequently have to go back up to full strength.

    I am on 150mg a day of sertraline and want to cut them down to eventually come off them but am too chicken to try it just yet. I seem to have a good month or so then my depression kicks in a bit again (not much) and I go through a week or so of feeling bad then I pick up again. There doesn't seem much rhyme or reason for the changes as sometimes adversity can drop me back down again and other times I cope fine.

    I can be quite detatched from my feelings and don't always know when my moods are changing. A good example of this is when I thought I was feeling fine then 2 people on another site had a go at me and I dropped like a stone to the bottom of the pit. I was convinced I was a piece of rubbish and decided to put myself on the garden rubbish tip. I didn't but had to restrain myself. Instead I blabbed about this in the site, talking rubbish and loads of folk came in supporting me which was wonderful.

    It has happened like this in the past but only rarely and it shook me up something proper for ages afterwards. The strength and depth of my self loathing shocked me to the core. I had thought I was over that bit but it came from somewhere very deep inside me and felt like my psyche was bleeding. All over 2 idiots having a go at me. It wasn't even over anything important which was very worrying.

    I like sertraline as it numbs my feelings and lets me get on with my life. I am terrified of my deep emotions and I know if I ever reached those depths I would run mad. Having said that though I got some very good advice from a friend in here to feel the pain and go with it. I got a great deal of help from this friend and another good one and feel for the first time in years I managed to deal with it though I felt extremely vulnerable. It was important to let myself feel like that.

    If you can find a counsellor you can relate to you too can let your feeling and pain be exposed in a safe environment. It is well worth keep trying and there are some fantastic counsellors out there. I used these 2 friends on here whom I trusted completely with my feelings and they came through for me and were brilliant. I felt safe and protected.

    I hope this helps a bit love. Bev xx

  • Thank you for replying. :-)

    I think I kind of know what you mean about being detached sometimes. When I was trying to taper off, my husband and son noticed that I was changing. It sounds weird but I kind of didn't really see it happening. I am lucky that after a near miss at a marriage break up and a LOT of talking, I learned to open up to my husband about exactly what I was thinking and feeling. Before that I had bottled things up, had always had a tendency to do that throughout my whole life really - I was much the same with my parents when I was living at home. Anyway the good thing is, I told him I was trying to taper off the tablets and please tell me if he notices any changes, ditto my son (he is a sensible 12 year old and knows my struggles). They both came to me on separate occasions and asked if I had reduced my tablets further because they noticed I was kind of withdrawing into myself and just seemed very down again. So that was when I went back up again. I THINK I am doing ok on the half a tab less every other day, at the moment anyway, but it can be hard to tell how things will go, so I plan to just continue like this for a while into the New Year and see what happens. I know I am definitely stronger than I was as I managed to get my weight loss head on, which will help with self esteem issues and mobility, I am hoping. So I will probably stay at this dose for a while until I can shift some more weight and hopefully feel a wee bit better about myself. Then I might look at decreasing again, will just have to play it by ear. I don't put pressure on myself or guilt trip myself for needing tablets any more, so that is progress too. I have seen a couple of counsellors and the last one helped me to see, if you had a broken leg, you wouldn't stop the doctors putting it in plaster would you? Just because you can't see the illness it doesn't mean it is any less worthy of treatment than something you can physically see. That really helped me a lot...I have this picture which perfectly illustrates it, maybe I will be brave enough to create my first post on this forum and post that picture...

    Sorry if this was a bit of a ramble, and for maybe hijacking this post! I tend to go on and on...once I start, the thought train just keeps rolling and I keep typing and typing! I find this happens with thoughts quite a lot, and I usually listen to a lot of music to stop it because my brain feels like it can't keep up with the speed at which all the thoughts arrive and it's exhausting sometimes! I overthink things all the time and it wears me out! Anyway, I'll go find that picture before I forget...

  • Hello

    If you are feeling that your medication is not working well, you need to see your GP initially. You do not say if you are having talking therapy if not, see if your GP can arrange some help for you.

    You say you are having problems at work due to your depression it may be an idea for you to have a period off work because of your low mood. Generally most GP will always prefer you to attend work as you will be dwelling on your condition if at home for any length of time

    If your weight is a problem your GP can arrange a course of dieting under the NHS, it is very thorough and they expect you to attend a course once a week for about six weeks. I would imagine if you are unhappy with self that will not help your general mood

    If you are considering suicide you need to see your GP and if you have a CPN you need to contact either one now and explain your fears.

    You do not admit what is wrong and what is causing your Depression, all I can say is if you are feeling that way you need to seek help


  • Hi, I think the others here give sound advice, if things aren't how they should be, defo a visit to the GP would be a good thing, and very good luck with it.

    As for the weight, I understand where you are coming from on that one too. If I didn't have my husband and son living with me, it's quite possible that I could go for weeks without seeing another person. I like to hide away from people because of how big I got (as well as just being anxious and not trusting people in general). I find I have a bit more confidence in going out if I am with my husband and son, but I still feel almost paranoid I am so self conscious - I think everyone is looking at me and laughing at my size. All that said, my head is at least in a place where I am determined to get the weight off and I do feel enthusiastic about that most of the time. I joined the "Weight Loss NHS" forum here on HealthUnlocked and the people there are fabulous, full of great ideas and motivation. They have a weekly Monday weigh in which is great for someone who doesn't want to go out and physically be around people in a weight loss group. If you haven't joined it, I do recommend it if you are at, or get to a stage where you are ready to tackle your weight. I've lost just over a stone and a half through changing what I eat...no exercise involved obviously as I seldom go out. So please, take heart, it can be done just on modifying what you eat, and I have to say I am not hungry, and can eat a 100 cal snack every single day and still lose weight on it.

    I'm on Sertraline too and I am interested to know, although I appreciate it could be really hard to tell, do you think it is the Sertraline which is directly causing the mood swings, or is it purely because the Sertraline isn't really working any more. I tried to taper off Sertraline in the past but noticed my mood going downwards, as did my family. That said, I managed to cut off half a tab every other day from my dose and maintain that so far. So I am still on them, and doing fairly ok, although I still get times where things still get on top of me and I feel quite down...I wondered if that is the kind of mood swing you mean, or whether you mean you get several mood swings a day, etc. I'm sorry to be nosy, I just don't know anyone else in my physical real life who needs anti depressants and so I'm really interested to know if there is any kind of pattern as to how the drug affects people in general.

    Many thanks,and good luck x

  • Hi, Iv just reduced from 200mg sertraline to start taking a very low start mind dose of venlafaxine as sertaline was doing very little for me, if anything ??? I am really struggling at the moment the side affects are awful, just waiting for them to kick in as soon as possible, just go to your GP and explain you feel there not working can she taper you off them and a start a new one, your GP will help you thought with it. Good luck let me know how your getting on xx

  • hi I have got a doctors appointment today hopefully will get this head sorted, everyone notices my mood swings and I didn't even realise am so scared I will lose my job now as I gave to go back on Monday it's not the type of job you can take leave off tried to explain to my manager how I was feeling she just said she thought I was a 'merdy cow' whatever that is now am under more pressure as she will do her best to get rid of me.

    Hi WW has I seem to snap a lot in work and everyone doesn't know how to act around me in work sometimes I just like to get on with my job and not talk to much and then the next day am the loudest in the office I just need to get it right. I am always paranoid over the way I look so thanks for your advice I will join the group now I can't keep feeling like this anymore xx

  • Hi confuse I am very sorry for hijacking your post with my reply to WW. I get a bit carried away sometimes but I shouldn't have done it. It's just sometimes someone else's post opens up other things. Sorry.

    I wish you luck at the doctors today, let us know how you get on please. x

  • God don't have to be sorry coughalot not at all write away! Went the docs they have increased the dose and referred me for CBT hope this helps just got to give it time, she wanted to sign me off work but I will be sacked for sure need to try and be 'normal' hate feeling so vulnerable


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