what's been said about me

to all if you want you believe what's been written about me then that's your choice, i will never stop speaking to anyone that want's to send me a post. there's a lot of kind and loving people on this forum, if after what has been said about me and you wish not to speak to me, than that's o.k by me, but remember i will always be here for anyone day or night take care BIGALAN xx

69 Replies

  • U ok Alan

  • hi Kagz i'm not to good at the moment with what's gone of and the MRI scan i had this afternoon i'm in a place of no return, i feel as thought with what's been said about me hurts but that's life i suppose, i think i'll be a lot better when i get the results back for the MRI scan and the second lot of blood the first lot that was taken months ago has come back clear, its this scan and second blood test results i'm now waiting for, my doctor is arranging for me to see the memory team where at i don't know, today feels like my world as crashed, i've lost a good friend but i hope she will start speaking again if not then that's that, i'm kag sorry i've forgotten your first name i've started writing names down and i thought i got yours but i can find it, just my luck i'm forgetting friends names take care been lovely talking to you again take care and thanks for your concern your friend always Alan x

  • Your true friends will stand by you as always Alan. Ignore the rest. We all support each other on this forum and that's what we are here for. Please don't let it put you off coming in. Hugs Bev xx

  • hi Bev i've just had a snotty remark from her lady ship so i think she is no long going to speak to me but you right true friend will always stand by you know matter what the problem is take care bev sweet dreams speak to you soon love from me to you. Alan xxxx

  • Aw bless you Alan love. Hope you have sweet dreams tonight. Hugs bev xx

  • hi Bev i hope i can get to sleep at the moment that might seem impossibly i just don't feel like sleeping, did you get my email address if so drop my an email some day many thanks, do you know i could give you a big hug n kiss for helping me out tonight what a lovely true friend you are take care Alan xx

  • You are more than welcome Alan. Try and get some sleep if you can coz you will feel better after it. I iknow how difficult it can be coz I suffer from insomnia and have to take mirtazapine to help me sleep. Do you have anything to help you? Sweet dreams. Bev xx

  • hi Bev no i don't and one of my illness is i have server sleep apnoea which means i stop breathing at night, but i hace a C.PAP. MACHINE to help but as i'm feeling at this moment i'm not sleepy, good job i'm not married then i've only got me to think about, anyway i'm keeping you up sweat dreams to you Bev if you can i know its hard for people that have insomnia i don't but struggle to get to sleep take care Bev big hug n kiss just for you hope it helps Alan xx

  • Hi Alan its karen btw, I havent heard anything bad either, if that friend is a true friend she will get back in touch there isnt alot of true friends these days but were all here for you.I have lost many friends because I see people for what they r now, im on my way to work right now but ill check in later to see hows things r x

  • hi Karen many thanks for first name my memory is fading so i have put your name now on my list so i can't forget you name, it was just one person that has said something to another person on this forum so it caused a bit of upset two have now stopped speak to me, but that's there problem anyway Karen is lovely to hear from you again take care speak to you soon your friend Alan xx

  • Hallo and of course when on here I will always say hallo and my post is the weight one and that is my main purpose on here,like you ,it is a great place for support so I will keep logging in,not been too good in the weighing in area as have been away,but need to continue to eat healthy.Good Luck to you also.

  • hi there its nice to meet you i'm Alan and weight loss is the only thing that's going right at the moment take care speak to you soon Alan

  • Sorry bigalan,I've missed what ever was happening hope you're ok

  • Hey Alan pleased you are OK ~ must admit I was worried about you at the weekend when you made such a sad post! You seem such a very kind person ,people can be unkind and yes it hurts so very much! I have never read anything bad about you on this site ~only nice things and how you are there for everyone!!! Take comfort in this mate!


  • hi kath many thanks for your post, i try to be nice to everyone but you can't win them all, yes im have trouble with my head/brain had to have a MRI scan yesterday afternoon but one or two are saying i'm lying so leave it with them just because i wasn't feeling ok to reply after i have spoken to one of this person who said something not nice, but i don't hold anything against them at all. thank you for your post hope your well today take care speak to you again big hug from me Alan xx

  • Hi Alan ,well just take no notice of who ever said that!! Why would you blimmin lie for goodness sake! Look how many people have been in touch with you to wish you well! Think that speaks volumes my friend!! I suffer with terrible Anxiety and panic although not depressed I worry about everything and worry if I've got nothing to worry about! Like today I was expecting a parcel (Christmas presents) and worried myself in case I missed the courier `~well anyway one of my neighbours took the delivery when I was out!! Honestly what am I like eh??

    You take care and hope all well with your MRI + take notice of the niceys not the nasties lol!!

    Kath:-) x

  • hi Kath many thanks your right there as been a lot of new friends i've made to say i've lost two, i've gain more. i suffer from Anxiety panic attacks and depression plus many other problems. but i've got some new friends that i've never met and your one of them. unlike you i don't worry about deliveries for Christmas i don't celebrate because i'm on my only for last 14 years so there's only me to bother with so take care speak to you later Alan xx

  • Well Alan I'm def one of your new mates! I often read your posts!The thing is about Christmas I think everyone thinks they should be happy and having a great old time!The reality is often very very different!! I know I am lucky I have 2 sons and 2 grandsons! My youngest son still lives at home ( he goes to Uni) I don't have a partner

    but hey that's OK!! Had a lot of rubbish going on in the past !But that's water under the bridge now.

    You take care and hope tomorrow is a good day for you!

    Your friend (a Northern lass and proud of it)

    Kath:-) x

  • hi Kath yes your in the BIGALAN club now and don't worry about what's gone of in your life is your busy i'm not married but on my own my for 14 years one daughter that doesn't speak to me but life is good when your chatting with you friends like you, how far up north are the lass higher than Nottinghamshire. but were every you come from your ok in my book take care speak to you soon big hug from me to you Alan xx

  • Hi Alan,

    Don't you think you have enough going on without worrying about anyone else, I have said to you before like so many others your true good friends will stick by you, buggar everyone else! You are number one and don't forget as life is to presious and too short to trust me.

    You are a lovely man with a big heart.

    Take care of you

    Big hugs

    Vikki xx

  • hi Vikki you have my friend and your right, its just proves who's is your friend or foe. thank you for saying i'm number one your right at that there is only me here but many friends out there its nice you have said that i'm a lovely person with a big heart but at the moment i've got a broken heart, if it wasn't for you my friends here to keep me going, your a sweet lady Vikki i know we have never met but your words are so lovely that's what helps a broken heart to mend having friends like you.

    take care with yourself

    bigger hugs from me to you as i am bigger in height than you

    Alan xx

  • Thank you Alan,

    Anyways how do you know your bigger I might be 7"8 lol.

    You take bigman

    Love and hugs

    Vikki xx

  • hi Vikki if your 7 ft 8 in i'll eat my right foot take care speak to you later, how tall are you i'm 6 ft 3 in and 21 stone i bet your smaller in all sizes Alan xx

  • Hi bigman,

    Lol just a bit 5"8 and 10 stone.

    Speak to you soon look after yourself, and most of all keep smiling it hides the cracks xxx

  • hi Vikki i would love to see a picture of you i bet your a stunner anyway at my age its hard to hide the cracks, your a nice person take care Alan xx

  • Hi Alan, Sorry to hear that you are having a problem with people saying horrible things. You don't need that at the moment. I had a similar thing happen to me earlier this year with people telling stories to my ex and it ended up in a very upsetting conversation with him and his sister ganging up on me.

    In the end I had to put a polite post on Facebook telling out mutual friends that if they were going to take sides and say horrible things to him about me then to unfriend me. I unfriend a few people I believed could have been making the comments.

    I still see people whispering behind my back, you can't help but notice the "looks that could kill" from people and someone of them are not so quite when whispering. It doesn't help when you are trying to heal and improve how you feel about each other.

    Please take care of yourself and concentrate on the good people that are around you. I still grieve the friendships I have lost and have to remind myself that my true friends are still with me and that the people who have said horrible things about me are the ones that are loosing the most as they have lost my friendship.

    I am reminded of a lesson from a course I was on many years ago. Some people are drains and others are radiators. Surround yourself with radiators. :-D

    Take care and look after yourself.


  • hi there your right it does hurt but my dad once said that while there calling me they are leaving someone else a lone. if people are like that then that's up to them, like you said you know who your true friends are and who are not. i'm at this moment have problem with my head my memory isn't good, i collapsed two weeks ago in tesco and i just had a scan on my brain yesterday after i had seen the doctor yesterday morning he sent me for a scan yesterday afternoon, now just waiting for the results, i know feel whether its worth letting my friends know about the result after what happened yesterday, i know many have asked but i'm unsure whether to say anything or not. many thanks for you post, can i know you first name please if you don't mind its just i'm putting a list together because i can't remember sometime whether i've spoken to you or not take care Alan if you want to send it pm i don't mind.

  • Hi Alan,

    Your Dad is right and I've always believed that if someone was bothering me they were leaving others alone. I find it hard to take that thought from people I thought were good friends. I had problems with my memory but I think it was just all the stress and sleepless nights. I hope everything works out for you. You could just tell your friends that your doctor is doing tests and you have to wait for the results.

    My name is Hazel.

    Take care.


  • hi Hazel we all have feeling and it doesn't matter who you are those feeling can be hurt, i'm 6 ft 3 in and 21 stone but my feeling got hurt yesterday but today i still feel hurt but its like ships passing it will go away. you would believe this that from my only marriage i had a daughter called Hazel. well its nice to hear from you take care speak to you again your friend Alan

  • Hi Alan, The hurt will go, do something nice today and forget about the people that hurt you. I know it's not easy, but we are better without people in our lives that insist on hurting us.

    Hazel is an uncommon name. I've not met many other Hazels in my life. I find that often people call me Heather rather than Hazel. My response if they keep doing that is "I am a nut not a flower" it gets a good laugh. :-D

    I've not been blessed with kids, which is a shame but that is life.

    Take care


  • hi Hazel i've only the one but she hasn't spoken to me in 14 years. but that's my life, can i ask are you married i know you said you haven't been bless with any little ones. but you've been blessed by meeting me (what bad mistake) only joking your very welcome anytime to chat with me take care speak you later your new friend Alan xx

  • Hi Alan,

    I was married for 9 years, but waiting for a divorce now. So sad as I thought I had met my soulmate. But you never know what hiccups life is going to throw you.

    Sorry your daughter hasn't spoken to you for a long time. I helped my husband get back together with his family as they weren't talking to him when I met him. I hope he's grateful for that. He got to spend time with his parents before they passed away because I encouraged him to get back in touch with him. I am glad I got to meet his Mum. I can only described as a very big personality who'd hug you to death if she liked you and you let her. :-D

    You sound like a good laugh and it's good to have met you Alan. I am privileged to be your new friend.

  • hi Hazel sorry to hear that, i hope you didn't mind my asking, i was married for 14 years and like you i helped my ex-wife to get back with her mum n dad, i'm not sure what's happened to them. but that then and this is now, still on my own and i think that's how its going to stay. well i'm here anytime for a chat take care Alan

  • Hi Alan, No I don't mind you asking. I had to get used to telling our friends that we'd split up cause he never told them and when I saw them they would ask me where he was so in the end I just told them. Not sure if I will still have a home or any money next year when the divorce settlement is done, but there is nothing I can do but leave things in the hands of the lawyer. I'm thinking I'll be on my own from now on as it took my 15 years to get over my first heart break before I met him, so I'm thinking maybe it's not meant to be. But who knows what the future holds.

    Nice to speak to you.


  • Hi Hazel I'm so sorry that your in this state can't the council where you live help you and you should get something from the divorce settlement but that none of my busy. Well I'm here for you if I can help in any way I'm not rich and before you say I haven't asked I know what it's like I was once there, but if I can help at all please let me know. It's alright me saying this but you never know what around a corner but there again I've been saying that for the last 14 years. You know were I am Hazel if I can help I will take care there's a big shoulder here to learn on anytime day or night take care look forward to your reply, big hug from me to help you. Your friend Alan xx♥:-)

  • Thanks, I am fortunate that my family are supporting me through me getting back to full health and my divorce.

    You take care of yourself.


  • hi Hazel that's o.k as long as you have somewhere to go i would want you without anywhere to live and that your being look after but i always here if needed take care speak to you soon your friend Alan xx

  • Hi Alan, I know your posts on another forum and you have always been kind and supportive. I have no idea what anyone has said about you but want you to know you a a beautiful human person. Hang on in there. You have a lot of challenges in life but you can do it. Don't lose hope.

  • hi there carolee13 many thanks for your kind words, i know i'm facing another major health problem but i've got that many now i'm losing track of what i have and haven't got, the biggest and nice medication i'm taking is you my friends that are there form me just as much as i'm there for you all. many thanks for forward to your reply Alan

  • Hope you're feeling more chipper now. I do know what it's like to suffer from depression, it was my almost constant companion through my twenties - forties. The "Grouch " that sat on my shoulder whispering accusations and telling me lies has retreated in recent years though. I'm grateful to a therapist I once saw for enabling me to name that vile creature and address the lies.

    It must be frustrating having so many health issues. Keep trying to focus on whatever positives there are :-)

  • hi Carolee13 many thanks for your lovely reply i'm o.k. now and has for what was said well its now were it is in the passed, the best help i've had is you lovely friends being there for me. it goes get me down but then i think of someone else that is worse than me, if the two people now have stopped talking to me that was there choice, i don't hold anything against anyone life's to short, the only thing that's been lost is my friendship to them, they have turned the backs, not me. take care speak again, its been nice chatting to friends that i've met since being on this forum. Alan

  • Oh Alan,

    You must of read what I said, I'm so happy your have written and replied. I was so worried about you sweetheart.

    Have people been mean to you then? I didn't notice?

    Just happy that you have written back and are ok ish.....Lottieonline

  • hi there is it Lucy your name i've got two people down for the same name Lottieonline and i know one is Lucy and the other on is Called mInie unless i've got it wrong more than its me got it wrong. anyway its nice to chat to you again and i'm glad you have replied, well i'm okish i've get a lot of medical problems but a new was has come forward and there is something happening in my head which i'm had a MRI scan for plus i collapsed two weeks ago and this it what all the fuss is about how one person has told another that i'm lying, boy i wish there were here to see what i'm going though, i know there a lot worse of then me, but when something like this happens it scare you to think what's going to happen next? but until i get my results back weds/thurs i just don't know what's going of in my head. many thanks for your reply and if i can just make it clear your first name then if the other person posts i can check to see why ive got two people with the same name Lottieonline but got two different first name. take care many thanks again Alan xx

  • Alan I am Lucy always have been.

    I was really worried about you, even had tears in my eyes.

    Ok now ur ok

    Please don't listen to other people, how can other people decide whether you're ill or not?

    Rubbish people no friend are they.

    You look after yourself

    Take care please and let's me know your results ASAP


  • hi Lucy i know you was when i was reading some of the posts that's why i put an apology post up for putting my lovely friends though that, its up to then that judge i don't, if so called friends are like that then i would sooner be on my own, i know i am but you know what i mean. and i find it very heart warming to think that somebody i've never met cares about me, my ex-wife didn't do that and i know her for 16 years glad she out of the way. i promise you one thing as soon as i get the results from the MRI scan you will know, and because i love the way you speak your words your so gentle and kind i promise to look after myself as long as i've got you as a friend take care Lucy chat to you later hopefully xxxx

  • Glad to hear from you bigalan. Its difficult at times but do try not to put worrying posts on.


  • hi there its nice to meet you and your right i will not bother i the future thanks for you reply hope your o.k today take care Alan

  • Yes ,luckily I've been pretty good since end July. Please keep bothering but I think a lot of us were worried by one of your posts and its a relief you have explained it.

    You take care of yourself too


  • hi there it was just how i was feeling i love Elvis and the tune was going around my mind so i put it on a post which now i wished i hadn't. i love singing and i make up different words to put in as to how i'm feeling take care and many thanks again Alan xx

  • I bet Alan you have a great voice making up bits as you go!! Hahahaha keep on singing you enjoy yourself, I just got very very worried when you put

    Goodbye everyone it scared me a lot.

    Happy u r ok now


  • Hi Alan,

    I don't know what has been said or what has gone on. I've seen your replies before Alan and you always seem very kind and compassionate. I have certainly never seen anything that would make me not want to talk to you. I hope that you are at least feeling a bit better after your collapse and that your tests will provide you with good results soon. Fingers crossed. Look after yourself.


  • hi Sarah many thanks for your reply what was said and done is in the past has far as i can see it, i can't change what was said but that's up to them, i will let you know as soon as i get the results which is either tomorrow or thursday. i will let you know what they are many thanks Alan

  • Trust me your friendship will start to Bloom again.Life can be confusing,just wait for the right moment to shine

  • hi Hidden many thanks its not the first time it won't be the last, i hope not but that how some people are many thanks whoever you are Alan

  • True friends will stay at your side, and I for one can think of no better place to be. Sending you gentle hugs my friend. X

  • Hi Al I hope you are ok ️xxx 😊

  • hi Anita sorry i've not put a post on with my results on just getting used to what i've been told, they have found a shadow on the right side of my brain, so i'm waiting for a date to go and see what it is, they have said that there taking a biopsy, i think i've spell it right to see what it is. its taking a bit to get used to but i'll know more later take care your friend Alan xxxx

  • Not seen or heard anything myself, though I have been absent for a few days.

    In any case, it'd be unwise to form a judgment of a person based on hear-say and rumour. You seem like a sensitive and caring person, from what I've read here. Innocent until proven guilty, is my motto.

    Sounds like you're having a tough time with your health of late. I do hope things pick up for you, there's always someone to share things with on here :)

  • hi there many thanks for your reply, many illness, and many friends to go a long with it take care Alan

  • Hi.Alan.Are you OK.😃

  • hello Rosie15 its lovely to hear from you, i'm o.k today bit tired but that's nothing new. how have you been not heard from you for a while, i hope your o.k look forward to you reply take care your friend Alan xx

  • Hi.I'm OK thanks.Just thought I would give you an update.Not heard a word from HER.Very surprised. Got to admit I'm curious as to who is doing the shopping,opening post,paying bills,cleaning out the chickens .She never lifts a finger in the house.Cobwebs hanging from ceiling almost reaching your head in most rooms,Food still in bags on floor,unopened packages and post everywhere.My nerves are very slowly improving .No nasty falls lately,thank goodness.Hope your OK.x

  • hi Rosie i'm fine now i know that your on the mend as you are, glad you haven't heard from her since, i bet you feel better in yourself from not having you phone going of like it was. i'm fine bit tired but nothing new there, theirs one thing your not doing her house work and running around like a headless chicken. so proud of you for sticking to your guns over her. take care been great chatting to you if possibly keep in touch take care Alan xx

  • Yes Alan how are u doing xxx

  • hi Paula i'm fine now i've heard from you, how have you been, i know about your daughter that's the last time we spoke, glad to hear from you, was wondering how you was getting on take care my friend speak to you soon look forward to your reply your friend always Alan xxxxxx

  • Hi Alan glad to hear from you too and you are fine .Yes it was her bjrthday last time we spoke im doing ok now it has past for a while my other daughter molly has moved out now and the other daughter cassie has just annouced she getting married next july so ive got a new focus and some saving upto do now which im rubbish at ha ha i spend before i get it hugs paula xxx

  • hi Paula it is lovely to hear from you, i wasn't going to bother you whilst it would have been your daughters birthday, it must be the hardest thing anyone must do, by having one of there beloved daughters pass away at a young age. but i'm glad your other two daughter are helping you by one getting married that will keep you busy, but remember i may be miles from you but not on here, anytime you need a listening ear, take which one you want and you can chat into it, i will always be on end of this computer for you when needed take care big hug n kiss just for you to help your friend Always Alan xx

  • Thank you Alan for your lovely words and like wise if you ever need a chat im a good listener too and will always reply back too you take care love and hugs Paula xxx

  • hi Paula your most welcome anytime, i'm here for you and like you, i'm a good listener, take care speak to you soon your friend Always Alan xxxxxx

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