Lack of mot the lacking the general desire to live life

Hi, I'm a 26 year old mothe of a five year old. I feel very discouraged. I feel something is wrong with me, internally. I lack motivation, enthusiasm towards life, energy, the will to get out of bed. This is effecting my life negatively and even worse my son's life. The fact that I have no desire to get out of bed and do normal life tasks, is depressing. I also feel an overwhelming amount of guilt because I don't feel like I do enough with my son. It makes me question if I'm ruining the person he could be. I imagine he wonders why he isn't good enough for his mom to do normal activities with him. At night I find myself self loathing... Hating myself for not cleaning, showering, interacting with my child, or taking the proper steps to achieve my life goals. I am I'm a vicious downward spiral and I am not sure how to change any of this... But I do know I am ruining my future and my child's... Does anyone has any words of wisdom to get me out of this funk....

4 Replies

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  • Hello ASB

    Welcome to or site.

    Forgive me for asking, does your Son interact with His Father??.

    You have a hard time looking after your Son and looking after the home. on top of that you worry that you are not fulfilling the needs of your child.

    Even having a child you will still have your own dreams and they need to be fulfilled. I suppose when your child starts His education you will be able to consider the way forward you wish to take.

    If you are so concerned regards your son and your fears and tiredness I would advise that you talk with your GP.

    To care as you do and how you want to interact with your son you are a good Mother who is trying to fulfill your child:s needs At the same time trying to also fulfill your dreams, will take time

    BOB

  • Hi I am sorry you are feeling like this. I am sure your son is thinking no such thing. He is a child and children are very accepting. He probably wonders if he has done something wrong when he sees you unhappy.

    You don't say whether you have been to the doctors yet? If not please go and get some help. There is no way your doctor would judge you as an unfit mum or anything so please don't worry that they will want to take your son away. Depression is very common and it's not your fault or a weakness. It is an illness like any other and your doctor will have heard it all before.

    You want to get better for your son, so hold on to that and work on it. x

  • Hello Asb. You don't say if you're a single Mum but your post reads that way. As a 72 year old male I'm a long way away from your situation but for you as a young Mum life is bound to be pretty tough at this stage in your life but even so you should be enjoying it more than you seem to be.

    First of all you deserve a pat on the back for being selfless enough to be worrying more about your son than your own problems. Thats how it should be ,but many in your position would be only thinking of themselves.

    Secondly , I doubt if it is affecting your son's life as much as you think it is. Five year olds are pretty resilient and even if things could be better , I don't think the situation at the moment will do your son any harm in the long run.

    However it would be nice to get you back to really enjoying life again and I'm sure better for your son. Stop feeling quite so guilty , the fact you care so much about your son means it will come out OK in the end ,and hopefully soon. If you have n't already done so, see your GP . The feelings you describe are typical of depression and whether its mild or not it may be you need some help to come out of it. If it is depression your GP won't be able to put it right immediately , but just knowing you've taken a step towards sorting your problems will help a bit. Do you not have a close friend you can talk to , or a family member ? Sharing the burden a bit will also help. Men need this but I sometimes feel its even more important to women.

    You are not ruining your life or your child's and you are not in a vicious downward spiral but you won't believe that yet. Thats the sort of warped thinking that always occurs with depression. Fight it. You seem to have the right attitudes to me and if you add in a lot of courage which I'm sure you've got , maybe some help from your GP. and hopefully talking some of these problems through with someone in six months you'll be wondering how you could ever have felt like this.

    Your son will still be very young in six months and it probably won't take that long anyway. Best of luck and a big old guy's hug. (not a big guy :a big hug from an old guy)

    Olderal

  • do not give yourself a hard time, you are depressed, and I should know- had it for years off and on- so do this- see a psychiatrist as soon as possible, I think that VIIBRYD might help and do not be afraid to ask for it. I feel for you dearie and remember to stand up for yourself and demand help. many have been like you are and you are not alone. also, remember anti-depressants take a few weeks to work and you might have some bad side effects until your body gets used to it but if it works, it will all be worth it. I will be thinking about you and find a psychiatrist right away.

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