My Friend's depression - what meds, diagnosis do you suggest? - especially people in the same shoe and doctors!


I'm a girl and I have a very good guy friend since March 2014 (it's November 2015 at the moment).

We are not really girlfriend-boyfriend, but I care a lot about Him. :)

I am His only friend and only personal support - He split up with His family more than a decade ago and He's not easy going at all, so He doesn't make very good new contacts. He was homeless for 7 years, then moved into a Council house for another 7 years (He's in His early thirties). He used to work before He became homeless, but since then, He's so low in mood, He wouldn't quite consider it. He says 'I cannot feel pleasure, no buzz or rush...' and He took ecstasy 10 years ago and He's still always on about it as if it was the only thing that could make Him happy...

There was a time in the last 7 years when He has quit smoking and been to the gym about 5-6 hours a day training, but unfortunately, He's given up sports again, because He didn't gain much weight (I guess He was not eating enough when He was in gym). This must have been 4-5 years back...

I'm trying to find His family for Him...

But He's in hospital at the moment and the doctors and nurses are trying to sort out His low motivation to work or study and His mood in general.

He's not suicidal at all (although He claimed once or twice He's about to die and He wants to die in peace and alone), He's got no hallucinating, He's quite down to Earth, but has a very low opinion of Himself and His talents (I think He's quite clever and He's got no learning difficulties apart from His motivation, though He hasn't even got GCSEs).

What medications worked for anyone in a similar situation to His and what diagnosis do you get?

Any doctors' opinions?

I discussed with Him He'll make me His next of kin.

I forgotten to say He blames His tonsil surgery (having removed His tonsils) for His problems.

I'm trying to make suggestions to the doctors. They used to think He's got bipolar and psychosis, but He clearly hasn't got any of these (at least that's what I see).

x :)


22 Replies

  • Your certainly being a huge help

  • Hi, your friend is really lucky to have you supporting him. He has a lot going on in his life.

    He is in the right place to be helped and it is good you are looking out for him.

    All you can do is be there for him, listen to him and offer him the support that he needs.

    For me personally my support network was great cause they listened to me, gave me honest opinions on what I was having problems with. They also reminded me of the successes that I'd had and that helped. They also offered suggestions to help me through the difficult days. They encouraged me to keep taking small steps from being able to leave the house to supporting me when I went back to the sport I had almost given up on totally cause of my problems. My mum even attended a Stress Control class with me so I had someone to talk to about the sessions and also about the techniques we were being taught.

    All I can suggest is that you be there for your friend, listen to him, encourage him to do more things but at his own pace and listen to what advise the doctor is giving him. Also look after yourself and ensure that you not getting too run down or stressed by your friends problems.

    Sorry I can't offer any more help than this as I can only speak from my own personal experience.

    Take care and I wish you and your friend good luck.

  • I disagree. I think you can back off a bit in order to allow him to get the help he needs without having to think about you just now. Maybe later when he has regained some self-respect, you can be around as a friend for him, to provide a little moral support, but doing too much can be as bad as not doing anything at all. I would suggest you take the time he is in hospital to recharge your own batteries. Hanging around him will exhaust you. Let the professionals do their job. You'll do him more good by caring for yourself in the long run.

  • Trouble is, I never lived with Him and only seen Him 3 times in one and half years.

    At last He's nearer me and my Mum doesn't have to know I'm seeing Him.

    He's not the only guy in my life, but I see Him as an awesome friend, I called Him usually, but we spoke every day.

    I guess I didn't explain this properly. :)

    I think to live with, He needs someone else but me, but I'd like Him to be a bit more sociable with other people.

    I'd like to give suggestions to the doctor as per His medication - whether you believe it or not, they are giving Him antidepressants and antipsychotics, when He's clearly just in a really low mood.

    Finally yesterday He says they accepted He's got depression, but they are open to suggestions. I heard of Fluxicotin or something that might be good.

    But does any of you know anything that helps?

    The meds are the important thing, as He's using drugs to make sure He is alright. :S and that obviously makes Him worse...

  • Do you mind me asking how old you are?

  • 27. :)

    I sound like a 16 year old, amn't I? lol

  • No, but you are still young enough to have not got a huge amount of life experience. I certainly did not know enough at that age to take on responsibility for someone like this guy. It is up to him if he wants to be more sociable and make more contacts and get more friends, but if he doesn't then it might be because you are providing him so much support he does not feel he needs it. Bear that in mind.

  • Are you saying he is using street drugs or prescribed drugs

  • Street drugs. :(

    I hope this won't put you down from helping me, that's why I didn't say it at first... x

  • Oh bless........i know of someone self medicating that way too he isnt the only could have a lot to do with the way he is feeling cos your right it wont be helping and could affect any medication the doc puts him on so i hope he was brave enough to tell them at the hospital x

  • Yes, He told them He was on heroin...

    So He was a good boy.

    I told Him Fluoxetin might help Him.

    Do you know this drug? x

    Someone with similar depression to His told me it helped her two days ago... :)

  • Ah ok its prozac ..... i wish i could offer advice on that but im not qualified honey ........

    I have had some experience with someone who uses heroine and there can be a lot involved in it and it depends on what else he uses or other meds etc They may offer methadone or something similar and perhaps behavioral therapies or rehab unless thats where he is now but there is a lot available to him its just getting to the right place

    The hospital is the best place for a diagnosis and treatment but its up to him to accept the support and it does sound like he has tried in the past also the fact he is there now is really promising

    The best thing for you at the moment is just to keep yourself well and let the professionals take over and try not to worry x

  • The Hospital staff will not work on a name

    of a drug,

    We are not looking into a sweetshop window, mix and match can kill. It is more important to treat and cure rather than give a drug comforter to an addict. They will want to dry Him out


  • The hospitals will not work on medication names and types I would imagine they will want Him clean so I would imagine they will need to dry him out.

    Your friend will need to knuckle down and at least try and show some form of acceptance of the life problems he has. Antidepressants in their own way will not solve his problems as they will need to be sure that He cannot overdose, bunker injections I would imagine would be the way they would go and even then they will require him to be possibly Sectioned depending if He is a danger to himself.

    People taking Opiates are generally trained to take their medications and know how to control their contraindications.

    In this case Methadone may be used.

    Personally I feel you may be on a hiding for nothing here.

  • There are so many different mental health issues and it can be very complicated but Ive had experience of spending time with someone suffering with psychosis and they do not reaslise they are psychotic .......and they usually will tell you the same thing each time and truly believe what they tell you is true..

    The best thing you can do for him now while he is in hospital is give the doctors all the information you can because he is probably telling them something very different because its his reality .....only a few weeks ago i was telling a gp about someone who truly believed someone wanted to kill him but this person was telling the gp he was fine and the doctor was believing him so please tell them everything that your friend has repeatedly told you

    Hope things get better for you both soon as im sure it taking its toll on you too x

  • As long as you do not expect the doctors to really discuss his case with you, as you are not a blood relative or married to him. Ok, I know doctors are not infallible, and you have personal experience of him, and maybe it is a good idea to pass on that information, but that is all you can really do, without overstepping the mark.

    I am also concerned that if he makes you next of kin you will have to make decisions for him that you ought not to. I really think that it may be best to leave those decisions to people who know what they are doing.

  • Hello!

    As He's got no relatives He'd know at the moment and no other friends but me, I think I am the right person to help Him.

    We spoke every day in the past 1.5 years (one and a half), so at least I know a bit about His past and a lot about His present situation.

    I think it's better for everyone to have some support from someone else but doctors and nurses, as they are all professional and all they do about you is about their job they get paid for (well, they might go the extra mile, I'm not saying that, they've also got feelings as they are human beings...)

  • He is very lucky to have you. If it works for you then fine. I was just concerned for you as there are a lot of big big issues going on here.

  • Hello!

    He never says anything delusional to me and He trusts me I think.

    I am delusional and I said 'Oh aren't You Jesus' reincarnation' He said 'I definitely am not' :)

    That's the problem, He's got no ambition.

    I do tell the doctor about everything and so does He I believe.

    I had the problems you described and I articulated them as well. :)

    The tell the doctor-thing is good, that's why I liked your comment. :)

  • Having no ambition isnt such a bad thing it can take us a long time to find our niche and the best way to get onto the right path is to keep yourself well as it helps you make the right choices.......i wish you both well x

  • I didn't know this is such a supportive forum!

    Thank you all very much for your kind and concerned comments!

    I've been to forums in the past where people are harsh and can even make some feel suicidal (not me, but people prone to it wouldn't cope with some of the comments).

    I'm really happy I found this place!



  • Your friend is in the best place if He is in hospital,

    All I can advise is that you need to be cruel to be kind, You also need to consider your own situation. When doing voluntary work many years ago we were trained in drug addiction and the different medications that were taken.

    It was generally said that when an addict was really frantic they would try anything that would give a lift. There is nothing romantic about this. It is not the world against one person in this case it is a person who has admitted His problems and has to understand the pathway He needs to take.

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