I've had symptoms of depression ever since I left school, there were significant triggers- a death in the family, relationship break down etc. I was very angry, lost interest in everything that made me happy and ruined friendships because of my disinterest. Both my parents have a history of depression, and every online depression site I've gone on too has told me that I have more than a few symptoms of depression. I know I'm not supposed to trust webmd and online diagnosis quizzes, but I'm too afraid to see my GP about it, because I might have to go on medication, and I know how much my mum hated her medication. I already don't feel like myself, I don't want to get even further away by taking medication. I'm also afraid of worrying my Mum, she has more than enough to deal with- she certainly doesn't need her daughter to be diagnosed with depression. I thought about seeing my GP so I could get a referral to a psychiatrist and just not telling my Mum, but we share everything and I find it impossible to lie to her. I feel like I'm stuck on this round about of worry and I have no idea how to get back to where I'm supposed to be. I feel insensitive even suggesting that I might have depression, as I know that so many people on this forum have been clinically diagnosed and struggle with multiple mental health disorders daily. I feel like a fraud, crying wolf for not feeling happy all the time. I just want to be like what I was when I was a teenager, before everything changed.
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