Sorry to keep posting so often

Sorry to keep posting so often but Iv been staying. At my parents Home the last six months and I have just been around to mine to check on things ( as you know I'm not good at the moment anyway ) the last time I spend proper time in my home the neighbour and her two daughters beat me up ( a family known to the police, they have pestered me for five years since the mother of this family moved in next to me ) each time over the years Iv had to call the police the police tell me I have to have evidence ( because I live on my own ) and they know how to break the law and get away with it (the police stated this to me and because I have a history of mental health, there just bullying me ) Iv had support from my local councillors who also agree with this but why should I move, as a result of the five years and the beating up I had a break down a week later my poor parents went though he'll for a month me being moved to different hospitals having to travel two hours at a time to visit me daily, I have just left and feel so sad like there's noway out for me ( if I had the gutts and I know it's so very wrong I'd end it I just can't take anymore so sorry to message like this I know it sounds so selfish but you can't stop the way you feel when your feeling this bad, I just can't stand the pain and as hard as I try I can't move on so sorry but I just need to share

17 Replies

  • hi Sandraan it is hard when you leave next door to people like this, they see you has easy pickins, i only advice to you to prove that what your saying, do you have a video camera if so then if you can put in a place were it can record what's going off, but they can't see it then you have your evidence to prove to the police that its no you but those people, you know i here for you anytime, its not nice having to live like you do and having parents that are coping with illness themselves and then having to travel to visit you. its not fair when all you want is a quiet life even though your suffering you don't need this, hope this helps but please promise me this that you won't harm yourself give me a text and i'll help has best as i can take care and remember this old saying you have nothing to die for but everything to live for. you have friends that are only a few seconds away from the computer and even if i have to drive to were you are to help look after you then i will help. take care speak to you soon your friend forever Alan xx

  • Thank you Alan, no I haven't got the gutts to harmself, that's why I'm feeling so bad I don't feel there's anyway out or an end to this, but thank you I just wish there was somewere to go when you feel this bad

  • hi sandraan i've may have ask you and if you don't mind but were are you living just wondering how for from me are you, and if you would like a visit to a coffee shop for a drink, would this be something for you to consider, i'm just grateful that you keep in touch, i really want to help you as best as i can, plus its better if there is someone there with you that understands and would love to help, but i'm here you know that and now i've got my new car i can travel to you if it would help just to have a cuppa take care just going to have my lunch, what are you having hope you feel like eating. take care speak to you soon my dearest friend your friend Always Alan xx

  • Hi move. You need to put your own feeling before pride. There is no point in being stubborn when you are suffering so much. A new start might just be what you need. I know it shouldn't be down to you but you can only control your movements and behaviour - not others. I would be out of there like a shot and I think you will feel a lot better if you move out. What's the point in suffering like this? Bev x

  • Hi something else I just thought of - I remember when I was learning to drive my instructor said never argue with with other traffic as it doesn't matter if you are right when you are dead! He had a very good point. So move and make a new start. Bev x

  • Yes I agree Bev my counsillor and I weighted up all the opposition and it was only her that was a problem ( it's just not as simple as that to move ) exspaecilly at the moment, just getting though a day at the moment is hard enough, I do understand what your saying, but it's idea for everything, and 2 minutes away from my parents my other neighbours are so lovely ( I no exactly what your saying but it's just not as simple as that ) but thank you so very much I just feel Bev when I'm in a better place myself I will be strong enough again to just ignore her (by the way this lady is in her 70s ) you think of a little old lady but there not old at 70 anymore she looks very much younger ( but plays on her age and the fact isuffers with mental health ) my family are very well liked and known in the community for being quite successful and most certainly not know by the. Police, but Bev I know exactly what you are saying and most people ask me the same, but that's my home xxx

  • Hi, I totally understand your stance on that it is your home. I may be loosing my home as well, but that is through divorce and I have basically told my OH that he'll need to cut me out of the house if he wants it, cause it's my home and to him it was only a house.

    I can't believe that the police can't do anything surely there must be something that they can do.

    Surely your local councillors can help. Have the family threatened any of the other neighbours? Do they only pick on you when you are on your own, or have your neighbours witnessed anything? What about security cameras, can't the police or anyone help by getting cameras set up to protect you and your property.

    What about a personal attack alarm? Have you tried one of those? Might help alert your neighbours that something is wrong if you had one?

    If the houses are rented then I know my local council has a policy on dealing with problem neighbours, maybe check with yours and see what they say.

    Please, please don't think about doing anything to yourself and seek advice if you every have those thoughts again.

    Take care and I hope you can get your home back to being a peaceful place.

  • What a really lovely supportive message thank you so very much, her grandchildren have been in the local paper ( front cover ) for how bad they are one poured a policeman in petrol and tried to set him alight another is in out of prison for very bad things, what makes you laugh she is the one with a camera, one night the daughter tried to attack me ( not knowning there was to of them ) I walked to were we could be seen on her mothers camera they both attacked me ( first time ) when I called the police they told me, we know who we're dealing with the camera will be wiped off, and they will have witness to lie for them, as for the housing she is with they are no use at all my local councillors are discussed in the way her housing association dealt with it in the past and also the way in which the dealt with me, I can put up with it when I'm not depressed and Anxitey, but at the moment I'm struggling to get though the day, when I told my GP how bad I felt at that time suicdial, she replied which I though was sweet don't do that and let them win !!!! Thank you so much I really appreciate you taking the time to reply and be so supportive and caring, thank you x

  • You are welcome. Take care.

  • Hi, Sandraan,

    I have just read your post and my heart goes out to you. I can't believe that in addition to your health you're having to live next door to a family whose daughters attacked you!

    I had a nightmare neighbour for years, so I can relate. I also learned a few things from that experience, and I can say that no-one seems to be taking their responsibility in helping you with this problem. If the police know about this family, they should be sign-posting you in where to go for help (it's true they can only intervene when a crime has been committed and witnessed, a fact many acting in anti-social ways seem to know...). However there is such a thing as the community trigger- ask the police about that, or your local council, or your local MP at their next advice surgery. This is when anti-social behaviour is having a detrimental affect on the community, and if they are bothering you, chances are they are bothering someone else.

    If you can identify the neighbour's landlord, then you can contact them to lodge a complaint of anti-social behaviour with them, as if they are a local authority or Housing assoc, you can demand they take an official report. If however the only incident was the attack and there were no witnesses, they are possibly going to be more stubborn in taking an official report.

    Some LA/HA's deal better than others with anti-soc behaviour (I should know, mine were rubbish to start with), but if you are feeling so threatened that you cannot stay in your home they need to be made aware of will have to spell it out to them, and also you can ask to be sent a copy of their anti-social behaviour policy, because then they will know you are serious.

    I would really strongly suggest you get some sound recording or surveillance equipment of your own, it will be for your own safety as much as anything. Do you have to go back to your home by yourself, or is it possible a family member could accompany you and stay with you for a few days?

    I hope you can find someone to help you with this, but at the end of the day, your own safety is paramount. I wish you all the best.

  • Thank you so so very much Sara what a really helpful message it's to late to message you now, but just hope it's ok to message you tomorrow or whenever your free, I'd be so really grateful, thank you so much for taking the time to read and reply xxx

  • Share away sunshine. Sometimes it is we need to do. There are some evil SOB's in this world (and that's unfair to dogs in this case!) Their time will come and you are brave not giving in to them. Don't let them win Sandra. Look after yourself and give those parents a massive hug. That'll do you good too. Hang in there girl xx Annie

  • Sandraan I may be stating the obvious but have you talked to the CAB re these people? There may be help out there somewhere. Even a flicker of hope can be priceless at times. If all else fails could you perhaps move near to your lovely parents? Not because you would be 'running away' but because you're 'moving forward with your life'. X

  • Hi yes when I'm feeling better I will take your advice to seek help in fact I'm going to see a new assessment team on Tuesday as I'm really not good may be they can help ?? But apart from that one awful neighbor everything about were I live is perfect and I couldn't get any closer to my parents, that's why I'm in the perfect area it's just her !!! But yes understand and makes sense ( everybody ) had said it to me, but Iv lived there many many years before she moved in, I honestly think her problem is that she never really wanted to move from her old house as she had a garden and three bedrooms now she has a 1bedroom flat with no garden, I think that's why she made it so hard for me ???? But I have to build myself back up before I can deal with it, thank you so much Annie it means so much to get support, hope you are ok x

  • Thank you so very much Annie what a lovely reply and so very grearful of your support, hope you are ok x

  • You are welcome love. Just wish there was more to be done for you. Seems like your neighbour needs some kind of help too!! We all have to deal with loss of some kind or another but where's the sense of taking it out on others? Good luck with your re-assessment and with your future and before that woman is allowed to take your sanity just remember this: you have to be prepared to let it go before anyone can take it girl. It is obvious to me that you won't let go easily so just keep hanging in there. Annie X

  • Thank you so much Annie I need all the support I can get right now as im really struggling so your message really do help and keep me going. Hope your ok. X

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