missing friends: i can't believe the... - Mental Health Sup...

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missing friends

79 Replies

i can't believe the amount of people i use to speak to had just stopped taking to me, have i upset anyone that i use to speak to, i won't say anybody's name but it just feel like the people i started talking to back in march have gone if i've have upset anyone please let me know so i can put it right one very sad bigalan xxxx

79 Replies
Moonmoo profile image
Moonmoo

Dont be sad :0)

in reply to Moonmoo

Hi moonmoo I know I've spoken to you before but what it is I can't remember who I've spoken to like I've been telling everyone that has replied I've just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease most admit it's in the early stages but its remembering who I have and who I haven't I can even remember if I've ever asked your first name take care and thanks again for your text speak to you soon Alan x

Moonmoo profile image
Moonmoo in reply to

I'm so sorry to hear about your Alzheimer's. You deserve good support xxx you are such a loving person xxx

in reply to Moonmoo

hi moonmoo thank you its something else now to cope with, the best support i have you lovely people that's on the site take care big hug from me to you Alan xxxxx

Photogeek profile image
Photogeek

Hi Alan please don't be upset, I don't think I ever spoke much to you myself, but I have seen your Posts. The site seems to have changed a lot and I find that I know

Very few people on here myself. I read all the Posts and reply if I can relate or help, I don't really say much about myself

Alan if I were you I would not be upsetting yourself, maybe you are being sensitive

But I know you have never upset me. You need to remember that people here

Can be troubled and what you may think as " not talking" is the way they act.

To be honest I do t really like this site any more,people post screaming for help, immediately, then never even come back or say Thanks, I Ifor one am fed up with that,

i think it's a bit selfish and dont see myself staying around much longer.

Don't be worrying about things like this, I know if we are Depressed we can

Be very sensitive.

Hannah

in reply to Photogeek

Hi Hannah the problem is that I've spoken to that many and now I've been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease I'm not sure who I've spoken to should I keep a list do you think that would help you and bev I've just spoken to I can't remember if I've spoken to you before and if I haven't then its nice to meet you take care your new friend Alan xx

Photogeek profile image
Photogeek in reply to

Hi Alan I'm really sorry to hear about your early Alzheimer's, maybe

Keeping a list might be a good idea.

I just remember a few people who I know for a while.

Sue and Bev. Bob and Sarah and Caroline, if I don't hear from

Them that's ok, this kind of site ebbs and flows, so just take

It easy and make things as simple as you can. Hope I haven't left

Anyone out. Lol.

Alan my advice if any is to relax and just go with the flow, now that

You have told people about yoyr Alzheimer's, they will Reember

You , but people can be busy with family and jobs and keeping

The wolf from the door, so try not to worry about all this, as

You need to look after yourself.

Hannah

in reply to Photogeek

Hi Hannah you are right I think it's the shock that may have set of something in me to think who I have spoken and who I haven't its so strange because of having to think about how to spell words that are easy yet I'm finding that difficult to do and I think at my age I'm 48yrs old its something that I'm not use to be is this making sense to you it doesn't to me I think I'll go and give my brain a rest take Hannah your friend Alan xx

I agree totally with Hannah Alan. You certainly haven't upset me or anyone that I know about. Bev x

in reply to

Hi there it most be me I'm most be losing my marbles well I've just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease so I'm not sure if I've spoken to you before I have I think with Hannah take care bev its been nice meeting you Alan xx

Lidzz profile image
Lidzz

No probably haven't! Like Alan says, people are selfish and it's me, me all the time. They don't look at the bigger picture... How lucky we are too be alive and half healthy, we got roofs over our heads, a good fam and ftiend network etc... Soo much in life and u gotta not worry about people...

in reply to Lidzz

hi Lidzz many thanks for your reply the only good thing apart from being alive and half health is unlike you i have now family they haven't spoken to me now for 14 years so its only friends i have and that's it many health problems but that's life take care Alan

LupusLady74 profile image
LupusLady74

Hi Alan,

Sorry for not being in touch lately but I'm really poorly at the mo. Will catch up with you when I'm feeling brighter. Hugs Lea

in reply to LupusLady74

hi Lea thanks for getting in touch i'm sorry i had to put this post out its because i'm am suffering with the start of Alzheimers and i can't remember who the people are take care big hug for you my friend Alan

Lottieonline profile image
Lottieonline

Hi Alan,

I agree with the above......we have chatted last month and some, but you most certainly haven't upset me and I'd imagine anyone else, how could 'You' upset anyone? You are kind, friendly, sensitive soul, perhaps lonely but aren't we all, and if you are waiting for emails from here daily I can imagine that being very upsetting if your mail box is empty.

I suffer badly with Anxiety and depression at times and Autumn/Winter coming along so fast brings its own problems. Loads of gardening getting it all ready for that time of year. For me the reason I've not been on here to reply is because I'm looking after 5 dogs!!!

Hands are totally tied.

I have no time at all to myself unless very late at night when the house is asleep, but then I take my medication and I'm not in any fit state to type anything that resembles English!

I apologise if this has in any way upset you, but dog sitting is really tough, especially when they're new to the household trying to settle them in along with my own pack.

I'm back off to doctors today, I had a nasty infected finger for no reason and the antibiotics had a horrible effect on me.

Again this is No excuse for ignoring you, but even my own mother called me this morning at 07:30 and said 'Are you ok'?

Not heard from you??

I tried to explain, I'm busy!!!!

So Alan I do,apologies once more I haven't replied to anyone recently and please don't take this personally.

Have a good Thursday roll on this time next week and my household will be back to normal, whatever normal is?

I truly hope you are ok, and your health is not too bad.

Best wishes my friend, Lucy!!🐶🐶🐶🐶

in reply to Lottieonline

hi Lucy its nice to hear from you i know we spoke last month but there people when i first came on here that i've not spoken to for months but many thanks your dogs sitting wow i love to have five dogs what breed are they i've got one cat name jasper, four female guinea pigs i think that the close i'll get to a female they are so funny. many thanks for replying Lucy it makes me feel better knowing i've not up set anyone like you when suffering with nerves and depression you start to think i've i upset someone plus i'm losing my memory i've just been told i got early signs of Alzheimer's plus Aspergers syndarome so i'm going down hill very fast its been nice chatting to you take care speak to you again your friend Alan xx

Lottieonline profile image
Lottieonline in reply to

Oh no Alan that's such bad shocking news for you to take in.

What made them think you were suffering from any of this?

How do you feel?

Oh Alan anytime you want to chat about stuff you can. I hope the doctors are looking after you...take care and your cat!

Best wishes

Lucy

in reply to Lottieonline

hi Lucy it was when i had my diabetic check early this year i asked the doctor if any of my medication could cause memory loss and he said that most of them can cause it but i said that their's something else so he sent me for a blood test which i normally have but with this one it was just for any brain difference and that's what they came back with, i'm shocked but not surprised yes the doctor have been brill i've never seen anybody move so fast so i'll be o.k got my cat for company thank you for your concern your a wonderful friend take care yourself speak to you soon big hug for you from me xxxxxxxxx

Maman2144 profile image
Maman2144

Sorry I haven't posted for a while. I've not been doing much except seeing my psychologist. I still read the posts but can't always reply. Regards Lorna.

in reply to Maman2144

hi Lorna its nice to hear from you hope your feeling any better missed speak to many but its nice how lost friend have replied take care hope you soon recover from seeing your psychologist i know how that's been kindest regards your friend Alan x

Lottieonline profile image
Lottieonline in reply to Maman2144

Same here, I'm really bad with my depression and anxiety

sgbmandy profile image
sgbmandy

Oww Alan chin up my friend always. Xxx mandy😁

in reply to sgbmandy

hi Mandy i know you have been there which chin do you mean i used to have four chins now only one chin hehe many thanks my friend and like you said friends always Alan xxxx

sgbmandy profile image
sgbmandy in reply to

👄 xxmandy👍

in reply to sgbmandy

thanks Mandy xxxz

Nicolb profile image
Nicolb

I totally agree with what has been said here. You do not have to take things into yourself. It is very likely that those people may have moved on. On the other hand, if you like to keep in touch them, you may want to initiate it from your end.

in reply to Nicolb

hi Nicolb you are right but there's one problem i'm at the start with Alzheimers and i can't remember who it is i've spoken to so how can i initiate it from my end when i can't remember who as spoken and how hasn't many thanks for your reply Alan.

amateurwriter profile image
amateurwriter

You definitely haven't upset me Alan, I go through phases of forgetting about this site sometimes only a few days but other times it can be a few months before i remember, please don't be upset,

Hope you're doing well, I've not been up to much trying to keep up with writing blog posts but am struggling to find the time, hope you manage to find something that you enjoy doing,

Take care,

Siobhan x

witchywoman profile image
witchywoman

Hi Alan. You have spoken to me before but not on this group. We've had some smiles on the weight loss site. Wishing you well and sending a hug

Kate x

in reply to witchywoman

hi Kate many thanks for you reply i'm not doing to good at the moment i just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's so its hard for me to remember who i have spoken to i'm making a list of people that ive spoken to this morning just to remember who i have spoken to take care its been nice to speak to you again and i'm sending you a big hug from me i only do big hugs your friend Alan xx

witchywoman profile image
witchywoman in reply to

Hi Alan. I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis but making notes and lists seems like a good way to cope with your forgetfulness problems. I wish you well and please message me if I can help or you just feel like a natter. Thank you for the big hug too. Backatcha friend! xx

in reply to witchywoman

hi there kate many thanks for your kind words we all need support and i'm lucky with having wonderful friends like you knowing your there for me helps a million. its going to be a long road before i'm total dead in the head and your welcome for the big hug you can have one every day from me and thanks for just being there just for a natter that friendship is more to me than gold take care your friend always Alan xxxx

witchywoman profile image
witchywoman in reply to

Hi Bigalan! I agree that a natter a day is good for everyone. It looks like you have a lot of friends on here so you need never be short of someone to talk to. I don't get on here every day but when you reply to my posts I get a notification so I'm never far away. Hope you are having a good day. Sending a big hug of the day your way! Kate xx

in reply to witchywoman

hi Kate well BT said it was good to talk, and i'm so lucky to have as many friend, has i have and its good that its from all ages and walk of life. and it nice when people can become friends because of an illness that we can share on how were feeling day to day, i know i'm traveled around this country of ours but now that my driving job as come to an end its nice that i can speak to people from all over our country. please let me send you a bigal hug n kiss just for you because your a wonderful friend that i've got take care speak to you again soon Alan xx

vikki profile image
vikki

Hi Alan, I think I have spoken to you once or twice before maybe more???? Been stressing a bit over my daughter so my brain is in my feet at the mo. Please don't take things to heart, you will only create problems for yourself and start worrying thinking , "we'll have I done something wrong?"......well you haven't . I haven't been on for a while , so if I haven't there are more than likely a few others that haven't either, so maybe that's why you haven't heard off them.

So I am saying helllloooooo Alan how are you? How's things with you and you can message me anytime and I will get back too you ok my love.

Stop worrying about what ifs life is too short, and if you want drop your friends a one liner like I do " remember me? I am your friend lol" , then see what they reply some replies are funny, some rude and others don't answer but hey ho.....

Keep smiling young man

Love and hugs

Vikki xxxx

in reply to vikki

hi Vikki i know you have its me i just can't remember how i've spoken to or not i must be losing it i'm well i was going to say i'm o.k but i'm not sure now with all these people saying that they have spoken but i can't remember i know you have spoken to me i must be going mad take care big hug to you from me your friend for life Alan xxxxxxx

vikki profile image
vikki in reply to

Hi Alan, your losing it? I lost it a long time ago lol welcome to my world and quite a few others.

I have times when I can't remember and it really frustrates and upsets me then maybe two,three or many more days later I remember with a sigh of relief then blame the Fibro lol.........sounds better than being totally crackers.

Speak soon

Big hugs

Vikki xxxx

in reply to vikki

hi Vikki i know what you mean but when i say i'm losing it i don't remember full stop it goes out of my mind and never returns, like to day when down to tesco's with a list of things i needed and still forgot two items that i needed i looked at the list and it didn't register, i've had people texting me today that ive never spoken to but they remember me. so i don't know what to expect next. take care my friend can i send you a big hug n kiss just for being a great friend your friend always Alan xxxxx

vikki profile image
vikki in reply to

Hi Alan, lol I know exactly what you mean been there several times......! My husband just stands there and pulls a funny face at me or cracks a joke so I don't get frustrated over it I'm lucky to have him he has the patience of a saint with me bless him.

Well I have got to pop to the shop for a loaf lets just see if I come back with one lol.

Thank you too for being a great friend Alan it means a lot.

Big hugs n a kiss too take care of you for me xx

in reply to vikki

hi Vikki i hope you got your loaf and i'm glad your husband treats you kindly when i first read your comment i thought he was being nasty be i reread it and i'm glad that he surport you, your a lovely person and you have many surporters on here to help here as well take care your friend Alan xx

vikki profile image
vikki in reply to

Yes Alan I remembered lol.....I really surprised myself! Hope you are ok.

XXXX

Vikki

in reply to vikki

hi Vikki i'm fine today must be a first hope your well and having a lovely day though weather not good take care speak to you later big hug from your friend Alan xxxx

Merrrm profile image
Merrrm

Hi Alan,

Not upset/offended me xx

I'm not on this site so often as others but I notice some people pop up less and less..... I'm putting this down to their fluctuating health probs.

Sorry to hear your Alzheimers diagnosis.

Hugs

Xx

in reply to Merrrm

hi Dee i most be going mad all the lovely people who have replied is it me that's wrong take care big hugs to you from me Alan xxxx

Lizbee profile image
Lizbee

Hi Alan - I have spoken to you a few times before - not on this thread but on general weight loss. You certainly haven't upset me although as a worrier and sufferer of occasional paranoia myself I understand perfectly why you may convince yourself you might have even tho' from what I gather from you as a person it's the last thing I'd imagine you doing :) x

I have been mega busy lately especially with my teen twins starting college and me starting my masters all in the past 3-4 weeks as I also work full time and as a long term single parent have the house/bills/family etc. to maintain (if I cant get twins to help lol).

So just living, studying & working has been pretty full on and I've actually stalled a little on my healthy life plan as a result - this is a pattern I'm afraid but I'm fighting the desire to put me on hold as i usually do.

Anyhow - stop worrying about what you may/may not have done - you'll drive yourself mad sweetie - do something nice for yourself - in relation to this and what I posted earlier I've decided to have a go at a local Life Drawing art class session this weekend - I'm hoping that it might inspire me to get into art again but also i might meet some like minded people - Will let you know if i manage to get a place and how it goes and Chin Up xxx ;)

in reply to Lizbee

hi Liz i know you have its just has i was saying to a person called girliemay i cant remember speaking to her i'm must be going mad because i can't remember some people that have spoken to me but i not spoken to them, i know i've got Alzheimer's but this is getting beyond a joke now i'm struggling to put sentence together take care Liz speak to you soon hopefully Alan xx

GirlieMay profile image
GirlieMay

Hi bigalan.

I'm sorry your feeling so low. We have spoken a couple of months ago and you haven't upset me at all. I hope we can speak soon as freinds

Take great care of yourself

GirlieMay x

in reply to GirlieMay

hi there this is the problem i'm having i can't remember talking to you whats happening to me am i going mad you said we have spoken yet i don't remember you, i know i've got Alzheimer's but i can't ever remember talking to you, as for being friends your for life not just for today take care hope next time we speak i will try and remember your name many thanks Alan xx

GirlieMay profile image
GirlieMay in reply to

friends for life x. If you think there is anything I could do to help with your memory than please ask, it must be so frustrating and frightening at times but please believe me when I say I'm here for you

Take great care GirlieMay X

in reply to GirlieMay

hi there girliemay you are a first class friend just you replying like you have as cheered my up, i've had a memory problem from being young wow that's some time ago but now i've got a label that i can put on it yes it still frustrating and frightening even now if i can't remember someone first name i'm having to make a list with the friends i've made on here not only with there post names but if i've got there first name i'm writing them down now and if there are any spelling mistakes from now i apologies now. may i say with what you have said has brought tears to my eyes from someone two week ago i didn't know and now i can call a friend your a lovely person take care and look after yourself please have a big hug n kiss from me to you to say thank you Alan xxxx

GirlieMay profile image
GirlieMay in reply to

Hi Alan, thank you for your kind words and many hugs and kisses back to you xxx. Lists are a good Idea but try to remember to keep them in a safe place. I carry around a small hard back note book and write down anything which is important to me (your name has gone in there) I also use google calender to put reminders in which is so useful as I get notification directly to my phone. Maybe you could give these a go, once you get into the habit of using these options you may find things a bit easier

Take great care of yourself

GirlieMay x

in reply to GirlieMay

hi there girliemay i keep them to my computer there no chance of losing that and thank you i've got google calender and only just started using it many thanks for that and your very welcome to has many big hugs n kisses i've got plenty but no one to share them so you can have some if you would like take care may i ask what your first name is please and if you don't mind speak to you soon your new friend Alan xx

GirlieMay profile image
GirlieMay in reply to

Hi Alan I've PM'd you.

I hope you take regular back-ups on your computer. I lost a lot of important photo's after an incident and had not backed them up so lost forever :(

Take great care of yourself

GirlieMay

in reply to GirlieMay

hi there girliemay may i ask what does PM'd you mean, i'm not into short hand writing but i do back everything up so i don't lose a thing the only thing i'm losing is my marbles can't back them up i hope your o.k today and did i ask what your first name was if you don't mind if you do then its ok with me speak to you soon take care of yourself Alan

GirlieMay profile image
GirlieMay in reply to

Hi Alan, PM'd means personal message so I sent you a personal message. There is a lot of shorthand I don't understand but luckily my son's interperate for me - I think they are winding me up sometimes - lol (laugh out loud)

Good to speak to you today

GirlieMay

in reply to GirlieMay

hi there just proves how thick i am i know lol can mean laugh out loud or love you lots there something i pick up but just later my brain i think as turned into a slow train and going slow, hope your o.k today take care its nice to speak to you again take care Alan xx

GirlieMay profile image
GirlieMay in reply to

Hi Alan, I don't think your thick at all :) If your brain is a little bit slower than it used to be then we will just give you more time to work your way around little obstacles and give you a gentle prompt if you ask for it. We are all learning new things each and every day!

Tack great care of yourself

GirlieMay (xxx)

in reply to GirlieMay

hi there i know what you mean i'm getting older and my brain is slowing down, i know i joke about it but i am have problem upstairs in the brain dept but yes any time i'm struggling please be my guest and just say what it is that i'm not understanding, i hope you well today and i hope you have sweet dreams for later take care big hug for you your friend Alan xx

Hello Alan

Believe me when I say I have no negative feeling towards you.

If you need a chat I am always around

I have noticed that you have not been on here for an extended period, sometimes these days many new people come onto this site that are ships in the night, they seem not to leave a wake as they pass by.

I agree with many, including Bev and Hannah the site has changed although this should not prevent those who were on this site not to come back for a chat.

In the past several members of my family have passed with dementia and I seem to be taking on this mantle as I await my tests to be undertaken. I had tests done in my fifties and I was borderline so I have an idea how you must be feeling.

Personally I am generally around for a chat, just make yourself known. It is difficult to anticipate a contribution

All the very best

BOB

in reply to

hi bob many thanks let now looks like said something that's got a lot of kind people on here upset of what i've said because your all replied to me some i know and some i can't remember if i've ever spoke to them, i think i better say nothing to be honest i don't know what i'm saying or meaning take care Alan

in reply to

Hello

Alan you know where we are and if you need support on this site you know where we are.

You have a horrible, confusing condition and sometimes people do not know much of this curse.

People who I have known with with problem, have enough on their plate and to be honest it gives me the heeby jeebies

You know people here will give support, please do not be a stranger

BOB

in reply to

hi BOB many thanks for your reply its nice to know that i've got plenty of support because i don't know where to go next i'm waiting for my doctors report to come back on what their next plan is so i will let you know, ive already been on to Alzheimer's society and they are sending somethings out for me not sure what hope its a gun one bullet that would do just joking i think take care speak to you soon Alan

in reply to

Hello Alan

Medications these days seem to be able to slow the problem down so I hope they will catch me soon if I have the same problem.

I was onto the above society a while ago and they have just developed a new pack to reinforce your memory. It is a very useful bit of kit so I will not tell you what it is it will wreck the anticipation that you should feel LOL.

All I will say it is not a gun with a bullet. might be a spud gun, you can make chips with that

All the best

BOB

in reply to

hi BOB many thanks for just being there my doctor has said the most of my medication affects the memory but the blood test they did a couple of weeks again proved that i got Alzheimer's but at an early stage so one its good that they have caught it early and two what there going to do that's what i'm waiting for so many thanks again Bob and your right about the gun it would be a waste of a good bullet, i have chips for dinner instead take care and many thanks i will look forward to what ever they send out, thanks for being a good friend your friend Alan

mandywalker69 profile image
mandywalker69

I've come on just to say hi Alan but I'm so tired I'm gonna nod off

in reply to mandywalker69

hi Mandy many thanks hope you have a nice sleep take care Alan xx

skcim profile image
skcim

Can i just say, don't worry about what others think of you... and look after yourself, i'm sure they haven't done this on purpose, and you have no need to explain yourself and apologise, We are all dealing with depression and sometimes we don't want to communicate, or find it very difficult to put things into words.

in reply to skcim

hi there i think i may have said something now that i may be wrong over i just wished i could get my brain in gear instead of my gob. i know what you mean the more i'm finding out that going wrong with my life the worst i'm in think or like you can't seam to put anything together that makes sense take care Alan

skcim profile image
skcim

Don't worry about it, feeling the way we do sometimes, is hard enough to deal with As i said, look after number one, because you need to, think of you, your the number one priority, and this is not being selfish. You take care x

ijeasike profile image
ijeasike

Hello love! You shouldnt be sad atall. Go have a good hot chocolate with mashmelos on top. That should sweaten you up. Hugs and kisses.

in reply to ijeasike

hello to you my love many thanks for your reply will you have the hot chocolate and marshmallow's as i'm diabetic and can't have them but the one thing that has sweeten me up is you i bet your sweeter than sugar big hugs n kisses from me to you Alan xxxxxx

honey828 profile image
honey828

The same thing happened to me I had friends and now no one speaks to me. I just let them go because they were not your feel friends and you should do the same. You don't need people in your life that you can't turn to and just stop talking to you for no reason. It was a time in my life that I got myself sick over it. But then I realize it wasn't worth it. They were never my friends. Just move on and forget about them.

hi honey828 many thanks for your post i'm not on my own then we at least i've made a new friend hope we can keep in touch take care your new friend Alan

teabreaks profile image
teabreaks

Hello Alan, I'm new to the group, but I hope you are doing ok. I'm sure it is a very confusing and worrying time for you xxx

headchild profile image
headchild

Hi Alan I haven't stopped talking to anyone on here - lovely bunch x

I don't get on the internet much these days just a bit busy with other things.

I'm sure everyone is Ok with talking to you. x

in reply to headchild

hi there i think this is the first time i've spoken to you, its nice to meet you and your right there are some lovely people on this forum and the amount of friends i've made it unreal, its a shame you don't get on the internet do you work a lot, well its been lovely not only meeting you but also just spending a few minutes chatting take care hope to speak to you again take care Alan xx

Looby profile image
Looby

Hi Alan...... I see you are following my posts. Because of the rheumatism in my hands, sometimes I am unable to type much, and this will be the case for the next month or so, because am due to have a bone removed very soon.

You are really young to have Altzeimers, so this must have been a real stunner......

Did you know that most Pharmacies make up what is known as "Nomad packs" for folks who have a memory problem. They organise your meds either in weekly or monthly packs which are simple to manage, and the service is free. Even if you have a carer, this is a great help - although it sounds like you may be on your own?

I wish you well with the weight loss. It will really help your self esteem if you can keep this up. Trouble is...when we are "down in the dumps" us humans do tend to tuck into the carbs -for-comfort! Try not eating "solids" after 6pm at night - just drinks, soup or beverages. That is the best and simplest advice a nurse gave me when I was struggling to lose the flab. Kick off the day with your favourite drink (not the canned sort) and a couple of spoons of glucose - this is absorbed almost immediately, giving you the energy without the body storing it as fat. When you feel morose, go outside and smile at anyone with a dog - it a weird thing, but dog walkers are always friendly!

Maybe people do not talk as much as they used to because they are not sure what to say. It is like when a person is grieving - folks tend to stay away. (Having lived abroad, I think this is partly a British thing!) I am very reticent with people I do not know well - but on this blog, not so much so.

Know that there ARE people on here who care about you, so just take each hour at a time - and note down our names on a separate gadget or notebook.

Take Care x

Lin

in reply to Looby

hi Lin many thanks for your lovely message i have osteoarthritis in my spine, hips, and knees, plus i've got three disc's out and a trapped sciatica nerve damaged, diabete's type 2, and that's just to start with, if i told you the rest you would be wondering how am i still going, anyway i hope your operation goes well and it helps you to a sort of life if possibly, i know about those packs you can get from pharmacy but whilst i've still got my marbles in one place it keep my brain active, yes your right i'm on my own and i don't have a carer to young they said, have been single now for 14 years, at it looks like stopping that way. i've started a notebook with everyone that texts me so i can remember who is who, anyway i will be thinking about you when do you have your operation, hope goes well hopefully speak again soon with good news for you and your hands take care my friend Alan xx

Looby profile image
Looby in reply to

Hi Alan....thanks for your reply. Sorry that I did not respond straight away...my husband also uses this PC to work. He is 70 but still getting the occasional estimating job to work on, which keeps HIS "little grey cells" alive!

You sound like you have a massive amount to deal with and no wonder you are depressed! However, from past experience (I almost succeeded in taking my own life twice when in my teens and 20s) you cannot afford to give way to the "gremlins" as I refer to the inner voices which pull you down. I guess for you, the loneliness is the worst, with managing the pain a close second. Has your Doc referred you to a Pain Clinic? These tend to function outside of large hospitals, and the advice and help I have received from the one I go to has been better than anything I've experienced from hospital Rheumatology Clinics. It was by listening to them, that I gradually dispensed with a whole cocktail of drugs my GP and hospital docs had me taking, and I feel much better for it. My sleep pattern is still all over the clock, but at least now I am retired, can catch up as and when my bod becomes tired.

Twice a week, I am going to a local gym (with Doc's referral, this can cost very little) - usually at a time when it is quieter, which helps with the arthritis and heart. Is there a Health Centre near you? People in these places are usually friendly and encouraging.

Also - do you see a Diabetic Nurse evey now and then? My other half - actually more like 3/4 !!!) is also Type 2 - and he is in denial about his Diabetes, often eating the worst foods for this. Old habits die hard, so am having to introduce him to fresh fruit/veg etc by putting them in hotpots, light pies, juice, etc. Left on his own - he would live on sweet cereals, sweet coffee, toast and cheese!

I used to work in Pharmacy, and so (being nosy...you don't have to say, if you don't want to) I am interested in which anti-depressant your GP has prescribed for you. Some of them tend to make you feel lethargic, and kind of "foggy" which just adds to your woes (in my humble opinion). Also some are better taken either night or morning. Others actually add to your weight, because they make you feel hungry outside of meal times.

I think I have rabbited on too long...my hand is starting to twang. The date to have the bone removed from my hand is 9 December, with pre op next week. Thank heaven it is just day surgery, because I loathe being in-patient overnight!

Take care, and Stay Positive!

Lin x

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