Having mental illness is so F*n hard!!!

First it's hard to even get outta bed!! U suppose to wake up refreshed and happy to get your day started but I wake up with an attitude and irritated most days 😒. I know what I should do and what helps but I don't have the motivation most of the time to do it. What's worst is, it's not just me; I have my 6y/o daughter to take care of and a husband. Everyone is like "you're so blessed!" But if they knew mentally how hard it is to be me, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy!!! It's hard for one because we look normal so people expect us to be like everyone else but our normal is totally different. It affects ourselves, our jobs, family, and whatever else in our world!

I haven't been on here like I want to because just fighting my mental to get through the days takes most my energy. When the day ends I just wanna get in bed and watch tv. I miss talking to ya'll. for those who don't know me, I have severe pms and pmdd. I take 150mg of Wellbutrin xl and 40mg of celexa. I visit a therapist regularly. Sometimes that's the only place I go in a single day. I have a part time job that is not reliable and I'm always late. (That's a whole nutha issue).

On the good side the last time i was on here I was trying to get over someone who broke my heart while I was separated from my husband. Well I no longer have the urge to wanna be with him. I think about all the dysfunctional ignorant ways he treated me whenever I think of him and it did me waaaay more harm then good. So peace and good luck with the next sucker✌🏼️✌🏼!

Lol,

Shan

6 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Hello Shan

    I understood that you had fallen out and had chased your husband out of your life.

    If you are stressed it may be a good idea to keep your GP or CPN informed.

    Try looking forward not backward and try and get as much as you can out of the day you are in.

    If you find someone who you like do not make Him feel at a disadvantage, give Him that new chance to be a good person as if we have any negative attitude towards that person you are never going to give the poor man a break and find out what is going on in His Head. You could be very happy in your future life with that person

    Good Luck

    BOB

  • Hey Bob, how you been? Thanks for responding. Yes I've been keeping my therapist informed, she knows about everything. I am still living with my husband but we were separated. We are trying to reconcile but it's at a snail pace. While I was separated (but still living with my husband, which was awkward enough) I had gotten together with someone else. I am all for love and always want the best in anybody but He didn't treat me well, he was a liar, and full of sh*t. My therapist was the one who helped me get over him and I thank her for it. Nobody deserves that kind of treatment. And it was bad timing anyway because I won't get involved with another man without having my own place. If it's meant to be it will be.

    Peace

    Shan

  • Hi Shan. Who says you are supposed to jump out of bed happy and eager to begin your day? I think you are believing too many myths! I think many of us drag ourselves out of our beds moaning and groaning. I always did as I am not a morning person but a night one. Nothing to do with depression.

    I am glad you ditched that no good man but I wonder why you are looking after your husband if you are separated? I know you are still living together but you are acting like a 'wife'. Having a part time job as well as looking after your child and your hubby is very hard work you know. Maybe your husband could help around the house more? Maybe that's why you are so tired all the time?

    bev x

  • Hi Bev, sorry for the late response; I think if I my situation was better I would look forward to getting out of bed. But between the depression and that, it's super hard for me. I can only speak for my situation.

    We still live together and raising our daughter. Right now I'm just focusing on becoming financially independent so when the time comes and we move out, we will be ok. No, I tired because he has 2 jobs so he's not home often so the bulk of responsibility falls on me. But without the jobs things would be worst.

  • I completely understand. I suffer from depression too. It takes all my energy and motivation from me. I sleep all day and wake up just to go to work. I have 3 kids to take care of and a husband who didn't understand. I find no enjoyment or motivation for anything anymore. I feel my life is going down the drain. I feel soo alone and miserable all the time.

  • Sorry for the late response; yes I can TOTALLY relate! I'm sorry you feel that way. This is a great platform to vent your feelings because we all share similar situations. Have you seen a doctor yet? And I'm sure you're doing your best by your children. And therapy can help as well to talk to someone with no judgement. Because my husband didn't understand neither.

You may also like...