The Smallest Things

I hate my life sometimes... The smallest things can make me feel horrible or cut myself. Like, when I was trying to ask for help online, someone just laughed at me and said, "Can you just die already?" Of course, out comes my knife. And when the teacher comes over and talks to me, my face goes red for NO REASON WHAT SOEVER! Very annoying... Sometimes I'll giggle and laugh. But my laughs last about a second or two.. And they don't even GRADUALLY go away. It's just from :) to :I . The worse thing is, my friends don't even care. They know, but it's more like they don't care. And yes, I have brought it up with mum. She never listens. I don't even talk to dad... My brother, he doesn't know. Funny thing is, he called me Batman once. Said I was "Emotionally unstable, likes to be alone and sits in dark corners all day" so... I guess he really HAS noticed. I'm tired of being alone. I can't even stand being away from those few teachers who care about me for the weekend. I stress and begin to think that nobody really cares and that they just ACT like they do. But, I also don't want to communicate either. I have quit soccer and I hardly eat anymore. I weigh about 60 kg and I occasionally walk to the beach. It's so calm there. I wish I was one with the waves. I wish I could just walk into the ocean and drift for all eternity.

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5 Replies

  • Hello

    How old are you ?

    What has caused the way you feel. Are seeing your GP as it seems you are feeling very isolated and that can not be dong you any good.

    When you cut you need help and possibly you need to talk to someone when you wish to damage yourself. I feel you should at least talk to the parent you feel more trusting to and ask to be taken to your GP. If this is not possible you may be able to make a Doctors Appointment and discuss your worries and concerns. You should make this appointment as soon as you possibly can.

    If you are in any form of danger through cutting etc you can go to the Police Station for safety or to the A and E and explain you are frightened you are going to hurt yourself.

    Whatever you do, do something you are an individual who is no different to anyone else. You should not feel worthless you are not and no-one should do you down or cause you any pain. You are a human who has needs and they need to be addressed

    We are here if you need us.

    Good Luck


  • I'm 13..

  • Hi you say you have favourite teachers at school - can you go to one of them and tell them how you feel? Tell them you need help as you are feeling suicidal. You say you don't want to communicate so maybe you can write it down and give it to them? Nothing is going to change unless you take action is it? I have read back on another post you made and you said you have an appointment with a school counsellor. Have you been yet?

    Rest assured no one on here is going to say anything nasty to you. Ok? x

  • I haven't been to see the school counsellor yet. I got so close to it then freaked out an ran away. And, I don't need to tell the favourite teachers. One knows, the other is VERY suspicious and always asking questions about how I feel, and the other would just wonder how I, of all people, could feel like that.

  • Do try to see the school counsellor, they are trained to help people to feel comfortable with talking with them. You are too young to be feeling so unhappy and without any help.


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