Hey my name is Michael, I'm 16 and suffer with HIGH anxiety and depression. These past few days i've been having the worst of the worst of my depression and anxiety and feel like I'm losing to it. Every single day of my life since I was 12 I have been scared of life in general. I experience every day anxiety symptoms which are chest pain, arm pain, feel like I can't breathe so I take deep breathes to satisfy my need for oxygen and many more, depression on the other hand is what is getting to me since I just can't get my life back to where it was, like I could enjoy everyday life without having suicide thoughts. The main reason for coming on this website is because my thoughts are out of control and I even wrote a small death note in my head because I generally thought this is when I'm going to end it all but then another part of me calls me stupid for thinking like that. Today is the only time I have had a smile on my face for... God knows when, I got a tattoo of a Demon-Angel as I have always said I have a demon on one shoulder and a angel on another so I decided to get something that means a lot to me on my arm and I look at it to remind myself of how worth it I am but it just doesn't sink in. I am really in need of help because I don't want to take my own life I want to be able to enjoy life. I see a psychiatric and she does help and put me on Citolapam and Lorazepam to calm anxiety and Depression. The medicine helps a little but not an incredible amount. I'm so lonely and feel like no woman would want THIS disgrace of a human!. I'm sorry for making it very difficult but I'm stuck in a black hole. Thank you so much! - Michael
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