hi there guys im new on here,

Im 18 years old and i feel that i have depression im constantly sad i feel like im not good enough im not smart enough i cant do anything and i give up real quick. im not happy with my self nor nothing. I live with my partner we have been together for 3 years now but we have been though ALOT and its mainly the same reason. I have quick outburst of anger esph when it comes to money because i feel that im constantly lending money to my partner and she also complains that she had to buy cat food and food to eat which annoys me so much because i dont understand. she is on a higher wage then me and it just leaves me broke for the month and this stresses me out a lot. this then all lead to the sexual side of a relationship, i love my fiancee so much but i dont always show it in the bedroom and i dont know why i just feel sad and unhappy sometimes i cry myself to sleep or just have unbroken sleep. Also when i get into bed or any type of comfort i have this issue of scratching my left leg raw red with cuts and blood everything and i cant help it and this is also another thing stressing me out because i used to love my legs but now there just a image of what i feel like inside. now my partner saying she is not interested im selfish im this and im that and all i can think to do is run , just run away just so no one would find me. i work monday to friday and i have to spend 3 hours of my day travelling to and from work and i just feel so lonely. when i get home it doesn't change but my partner just says it me and how im not affectionate and i question myself is this the truth ?? now im just lost i dont know where to go and i feel like im getting eaten from the inside out. everyday i wake up i feel like im not only putting on clothes but im also putting on a mask. I used to be Happy but now im just always down and i really need help.

im thankful for any type of help. xx

thank you x

4 Replies

  • Two things I would say , apart from the fact I find it quite heart wrenching to read so many posts of young people with problems , people who really are at only the start of your lives.

    Firstly see your GP or a GP and be completely honest with them (difficult for we men), but the mechanic can't fix the car unless he knows what's wrong with it and only you can tell him.

    Secondly DON'T make any decision now but as soon as you feel on top of everything I think you also ought to review your relationship with your fiance. Your post reads as if you already have some doubts. "Fiance" implies "Marriage" and a failed marriage is very traumatic and the last thing you and your fiance needs--EVER. You may not feel this but 18 is very young and the main thing at 18 is not to make obvious and drastic mistakes . You're in no hurry--you've got stacks of time to make correct decisions, or as that is beyond most of us, better decisions.

    The problem with the leg I probably can't help with but I've occasionally had itchy legs although I have n't scratched them that badly I found an anti dandruff shampoo rubbed into them in the shower cured it pretty quickly. What ever you do don't see a psychologist. God only knows what they would make of the fact that its only your left leg you are attacking.

  • I don't know about the shampoo and the anti psychiatrist but how thoughtful.

    Definitely see a Dr and talk

    So sad when relationships go wrong but I agree tackle you first and then the relationship

    You sound like a real catch travelling three hours to and from work to earn less than your girlfriend who you love but feeling a bit used by perhaps

    You love her but struggle in the bedroom no wonder of course you will be affected in all parts of your life especially if you can't sleep

    Surgeries are much more flexible you may be able to go one evening or have a phone appointment but there will probably be a wait of at least a week

    I hope you get somewhere with this

    You are an adult but as far as we oldies are concerned you are at the start of a potentially rewarding and long life

    Try and unwind the muddle it is not a complete mess

    Go see the mechanic

    K x

  • Thank you for your replies it's nice to know there's people that will respond and help. And yes I do have thoughts about my relationship but then I guess who doesn't and yeah I'm 18 and only starting my life but when you barley have friends to rely on to go out there's no much to do but be with my partner 24/7 and inoe this sounds silly but I've been engaged with her for two years now and I know for sure that we are not rushing to anything only because we are not stable but it's something we would like to do in the future. And inoe this may sound silly aswell but my partner says its not a good idea to be prescripted to anything because it won't be good for me so is like I'm in two minds. I would like the help and to be able to talk to someone. And as an 18 year old I've been through 5 jobs which are good experience but the money again is something that's stresses me out and causes the way I feel.

    I've tried the shampoo stuff and other cream and pills but nothing has happened. In the beginning I was ripping open nearly all over my body arms both legs stomach back sounds weird but top of my bum and I was constantly in pain trying to put clothes on and to move but I didn't know what the cause was and again I was in a state where I was constantly down and unhappy.

    And Ive told my partner about how I feel but she said that its her not making me happy and I can understand the way it look but she is some sort of percentage the reason I feel this way but if I was to loose her I would have nothing. An apartment to myself and everything on my head.

    Even when I get paid and I see somthing nice I feel like I have to lie and not show what I have brought to my partner. Only because I don't want her knowing I have money because I would like to enjoy my money to. I take her out on dates to bring the relationship back , I will take her places even if it meant that it was my last money I had but because I dont responded in the bedroom I'm the worst person alive. Also recently I've suffered form two mouth ulcers which caused me alot of pain. Not being able to eat not being able to speak let alone swallow but mu patented got mad at me because I wasn't talking not kissing her and "making the first move ".

    So now I don't have a clue what to do

  • Hello

    You were sixteen when you first met and were attracted to your then Girlfriend. At that age, generally we are not really ready for a deep sexual relationship. Like you I was fifteen when I met my first girlfriend and the relationship seemed more like a habit than a serious relationship. Where I would imagine you both would feel you were ment for each other and the next progression was engagement and a life where possibly both of you were frightened too loose each other as possibly first love is the sweetest, and what would be left if I broke away and started to look for someone new.

    One problem here is couples have not really become adults so their feelings and habits have not developed. This can become a problem like money and spending it. At work we need to save as well as spend and sometimes this can be a problem at the end of the month when money is scarce. Housekeeping becomes a problem when one side of a partnership begins to overspend and the housekeeping becomes a problem.

    When young we fall into love and fallout just a quick, it would seem that you may be at that stage, as the sweet part of your lives are becoming routine and you find that it is hard to be together.

    You both need to sit down and make some rules or the relationship will not last.

    With this personally I feel you need to look at your lives together and possibly make an appointment with RELATE, it is not just for married couples.

    I do not think this is depression, although there would be no reason not to visit your GP. When there discuss your cutting/scratching and your temper. I feel this is more to do with confusion and worry where this relationship is going.

    I am not a Doctor or Specialist so you will be able to get advice and possible treatments through your GP.

    Medication would most probably just dumb down your mood and make the decisions you need to make at work and home more difficult. You are still young and need to give yourself a break that will help you make some very important changes.


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