My Friend: what can I do?

My classmate is called Emily. We don't really speak to each other much but on Instagram, she's started posting suicidal pictures and in the pe changing rooms, I noticed she had like a million cuts on her thighs and sides. I'm really worried about her. I want her to stop cutting and stop being depressed. She is already in counselling but I want to help her. What should I do?

6 Replies

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  • Just be a good friend let her know someone cares about her. engage her in conversations and include her in things ,this will hopefully help her to open up, but don't push her to talk about the cuts, as she starts to trust you she will talk .

  • Hello

    If she is self harming and is going the talking sessions, it is important that you get her to tell someone, when she goes to the clinic or Surgery. It would seem that her Parents know about the problem so I would imagine they do know about what is going on

    They can call 111 and get the Crisis Team to visit and asses if your friend is in danger. Your friend can also phone the Crisis team in here own right and possibly meet them at the Surgery or at home with Her Parents. Try taking Her to one side and tell her your concerns.

    BOB

    .

  • Hi what a difficult situation you find yourself in and what a good friend you are. Just let her know that you are there for her and she can talk to you anytime.

    Never criticise her actions but telling her how concerned you are about her is a very positive action and might help her open up to you.

    Have a look at information online to learn more about her illness and how to help her. x

  • Say hi or even just acknowledge her to start

    She might be ready to pour her heart you or just clam up

    I wonder if you could talk to a school councellor if she has pics of herself in school changing rooms?

    You may not want to name her

    If she is postin on Instagram you will not be the only one to know so be sure to report any bullying you see

    It is very sad but some people are just crying out for attention

    Any sort of attention

    Be very aware this sort of thing can be heartbreaking and drag you down so look after yourself too

    Glad you found this sit

    K x

  • Hi Asha, I hope that these might help.

    Young Minds

    Helpline: 0808 802 5544

    youngminds.org.uk

    National charity committed to improving the mental health of all children and young people, their Parents Information Service provides information and advice for any adult with concerns about a child or young person.

    NHS Choices – Self Harm

    nhs.uk/conditions/Self-inju...

    Help and information on self-harm with links to external agencies.

    MIND – Self Harm Leaflet

    MindInfoline: 0845 766 0163 0300 1233393

    mind.org.uk/help/diagnoses_...

    This booklet is for anyone who self-harms, their friends and family. It should give readers a greater understanding and knowledge of the condition and of what they can do to help overcome it.

    Royal College of Psychiatrists – Self Harm

    rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthi...

    The leaflet discusses different ways in which individuals may harm themselves and why people self-harm. It also discusses what help is available for people who self-harm, what they can do to help themselves, and what those close to them can do to help.

    Support

    Selfharm.co.uk

    selfharm.co.uk

    We provide support and services both for young people impacted by self-harm, and for parents, professionals and others. We create a space where people impacted by self-harm can feel supported and we believe we're taking a big step forward with the services this site offers, enabling young people to find the help they need. Our expert panel is made up of professionals who have working knowledge of self-harm, and who kindly volunteer their time to oversee the website and participate in answering individual user questions. We also stand out because you can view biographies of all the people involved behind the scenes - we're putting names and faces to who we are what we want to achieve.

    National Self-Harm Network

    Helpline:

    nshn.co.uk

    Support for survivors and people who self-harm, as well as the people it indirectly affects, like family and friends. As well as supporting the individual NSHN aims to raise awareness of self harm, underlying causes, triggers and the many ways to offer support. We provide training to professional organisations, schools, universities, charities, user groups etc.

    Bristol Crisis Service for Women

    selfinjurysupport.org.uk

    Charity supporting women in emotional distress, particularly those who self-harm.

    Recover Your Life

    recoveryourlife.com

    One of the biggest and best Self Harm Support Communities on the Internet, offers help on a variety of topics surroundingself harm, including self injury, eating disorders, mental health issues, abuse and bullying, as well as drugs and alcohol and first aid.

    Harmless

    harmless.org.uk

    Harmless is a user led organisation that provides a range of services about self harm including support, information, training and consultancy to people who self harm, their friends and families and professionals. Harmless was set up by people who understand self harm and at the heart of our service is a real sense of hope. We know that with the right support and help life can get better. We hope that you find this site a safe and helpful resource.

    ChildLine

    Helpline: 0800 1111 (24 hours)

    childline.org.uk

    Free, confidential 24-hour helpline staffed by counsellors specially for children and young people to talk about any issue that is worrying them. Lines can be busy so keep trying. You can talk to a counsellor online as well as other young people via the message boards. The ChildLine website also contains a lots of information and advice on various topics including abuse, domestic violence, bullying and exam stress.

    Get Connected

    Helpline: 0808 808 4994

    getconnected.org.uk

    Free confidential telephone and e-mail helpline directly connecting young people to services that can offer help and support, whatever the problem. Volunteers are trained specifically in speaking to young people.

    The Site.org

    thesite.org/healthandwellbe...

    TheSite.org is the first place young people should check for advice, information and support on sex, relationships, drugs, drink, health and wellbeing.

    Samaritans

    Helpline: 08457 90 90 90

    samaritans.org.uk

    24-hour emergency helpline

  • Hi,

    I'm so sorry to hear this- it must be really upsetting for both of you. Maybe you could send her texts to ask how she is and also ask in person as sometimes she may seem really lonely.Question her if she says she is great or really well and let her know that you are always there for her. Don't be too upset if she doesn't reply to texts as she will think it is nice that you thought of her but may be too upset to reply- don't take it personally.Let her know that she is never a pain, a burden, or anything along those lines and that you just really want to see her being happy. She may be terrified of bothering someone and think that she is so worthless and unimportant that she isn't worth anyones time.

    I was recently suicidal twice this year and have recently started self harming, and at the start I felt like nobody cared as nobody asked and I started to blame myself for it which made things worse.

    Maybe you could ask her if she wanted to go for a nice walk in a peaceful place? You could try asking her in a gentle way what is it that is bothering her the most, but she may need time as it could be a delicate subject so she may not talk about it the first time,and tell her why you care and what you think of her as a person as she is most likely feeling really worthless. I'm sure you will have a good non-judgemental view of what/if she says what is bothering her.

    If you like you could ask her if there is a sport you could do together, as there are 2 routes to curing depression- medication ( which Doctors don't like giving out especially as you sound young, I'm 20 and have been fighting for it for 7 months and still hoping) and excercise. I've been told these are suprisingly equally as effective, she may need someone to push her ( gradually overtime when she may be feeling less suicidal). But she will absolutley love that she has someone to go with, for motivation and for company. As if you are joining a group it may seem quite scary. If she wants to do this she will always be really grateful and extremely touched by your thoughtfulness.

    Also, maybe you could give her a suprise visit and do something small and simple for her, for example you could make her a card saying you are sorry she is having a low time, bake her a favourate cake, burn a CD with her favourate songs on. It doesn't have to cost much but it will go a long way. If the first time goes well you could keep doing so when you think she is having her low moments.

    Sometimes when you see her she may not talk much and again this is nothing personal. Sometimes you just want company but you may not want to talk. But One of the best things I read when I was at my lowest was " Tomorrow could be the best day of your life, you've just got to get there." Maybe you could tell her that sentence.

    I really hope she feels better soon , It sounds like she has a really precious and caring friend :) . I wish you all of the very best of luck!

    Freya

    xxx

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