Where to start

Hi everyone, I'm new on here but I'm also new to the idea of talking openly about how I really feel about myself and my life.

I've recently finished University and plan to start work in September in a new city. I'm extremely lucky to have found a job that I'm going to enjoy and somewhere to live as well as to have a longish-term girlfriend who I love very much. Since I began to finish University, however, and over the last 2-3 months I've developed an increasing and overwhelming feeling of isolation and worthlessness.

It began as feeling anxious about my life and my relationship as I move away from home and into the future. Over the last few months, however, it has grown into something a lot stronger. I now can't help but feel very alone and trapped whenever I am by myself. I manage to behave as I used to around other people, but as time has moved on I find myself fighting back tears even if I leave other peoples' company for a few moments. It's hard to explain but each day becomes that little bit harder and I just feel more and more hopeless and alone.

I've never had any serious health issues before and this is an entirely new experience for me. I'd appreciate hearing about if anyone else has experienced anything like this and where people recommend is a good starting place. I've read online about the varying effectiveness of talking to a GP and it would be good to hear what other people have gone through and what they found helpful, particularly when first experiencing these sorts of feelings.

Thanks in advance.

10 Replies

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  • Hi nice to meet you. This does sound like depression but only a doctor can diagnose you so please make an appointment.

    If you are not sure then you can try googling online depression tests which should give you a good idea.

    I am sure others will be in soon but weekends can be quite slow on here.

    Take care. x

  • Hi,

    Nice to meet you too, thanks for the online test suggestion, I've found a number of useful things online.

    Thanks again,

    David

  • Go see your GP, if you cannot talk about how you feel write it down.you've taken a step forward by contacting this group. Best wishes. Regards Lorna

  • Hi,

    I think I'm going to, thanks your your advice and support.

    David

  • Wow on the brink of adulthood

    This is a big deal

    You say moving to a new city are you in America?

    I only wonder because it is a much much bigger place than the UK and even here we have a BIG N/S divide

    So here's the thing

    It is ok to be scared

    It is a big world out there

    So the first thing is being scared is normal

    However being out of control of scared is scary

    So you mentioned GP back to Blighty

    Yes the response can vary but don't let that stop you

    One in five in the UK will be faced with some kind of mental health problem in their life

    Famous people you may well know of have 'come out'

    We are a quirky lot of individuals many of us have huge strength as well as our weakness

    In the meantime fresh air a good diet a good set of plans and downtime will all contribute to your well being

    Enjoy who you are and what you have write a list perhaps

    Can you confide in anyone at home?

    Good idea to nip it in the bud and don't be tempted to use avoidance tactics

    You have taken a mature approach this experience will make you a better person as you learn to steer a course through the down time

    Congrats on getting through university and good news about the job

    Hopefully before long you will be making new friends and finding places to go and things to do you can enjoy with your girlfriend

    In this country you won't starve (we have food banks) no I am not joking I have been homeless

    So take it easy and if you can log in and give us all a shout

    All the best

    K

  • Hi,

    Thanks for taking the time to write such a long response, it really means a lot. I'm moving from the south to the north of england so not so far I can't see people but it's a serious change! You've made some really touching and helpful comments and I can't thank you enough.

    Thanks again,

    David

  • Hi

    You're not alone with all of those overwhelming feelings. I get feelings of isolation and worthlessness even with my family around me.

    You have a lot going on, university is over, moving cities is likely to add stress, changing jobs in there too?

    Anxiety is a natural response to all of that uncertainty, I think we need to discuss our concerns to help think them through and make some plans.

    I find i am at my best when busy, I miss my friends but can get on with stuff and catch up later.

    I know my perspective is flawed when I am feeling anxious and I need to acknowledge that and keep going with something concrete until I settle down again. Mindfulness and CBT have helped me.

    It took me a while to see my GP but it was a good step for me to discuss anxiety and depression. Seeking some help is a positive step as you are starting to take more control over your condition.

    I also recently have started seeing a counselling service which has helped enormously by giving me someone to talk to who understands. I did a quick search on the web for metal health or depression support and found a couple of free options locally.

    Hope this helps

    Dave

  • Hi David,

    Thanks also for writing such a considered and long response, it means a lot that people are out there and willing to offer such help and advice. It's not a nice feeling to know that other people are also feeling what I'm feeling but it's reassuring that you've found ways to find help and feel better. I appreciate the advice on counselling and CBT.

    Thanks so much,

    David

  • Hi David

    You're not used to my rambling responses yet!

    I found a lot of help on this forum which helped me approach counselling and cbt positively.

    Sharing thoughts and feelings here does help put things in perspective and this is also one of the places where engaging with others is supportive to us all.

    It can take a while to get the CBT started, "Taming the Mind" by Ruby Wax was a good help for me in understanding and working on my condition.

    Cheers

    Dave

  • Hi everyone,

    Thank you so much for all of your thoughts and advice. I'm really touched so many people are on here to help others and I really appreciate it.

    Thanks again,

    David

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