Is this right or wrong?

Hi all, I need some help.

I'm 23 and have had anxiety since I was 15. I have been on medication since 20. I think I have generalised anxiety disorder.

Anyway so the past year I have been as good as I've ever been. Like so happy with myself and life. I've been with my now fiancé for just over 3 years. Engaged since this January just gone. We had never lived together before (or with anyone else as this is both our first long term relationship) til we got a house at the end of March. The second day I was there I had my ever anxiety attack. I had no idea why.

And I was terribly sick for 8 days after from it. I haven't had one single day since feeling happy n normal since. I'm scared that this is my body's way of telling me he's not the one for me. I'm scared to leave him. I'm living back at home with my parents now for the last two weeks. We both decided to have a month seperation. I'm becoming very depressed :(

I had my life on track n a plan and now it's all up in the air. I don't think I can turn my feelings around n be better again after all this??

I don't think my hearts in it anymore n I'm feeling absolutely lost n devastated that I'm feeling this way....

What do I do

1 Reply

  • You need to try and look at the situation objectively - break all this down into more manageable chunks and try and work out what is really going on.

    Those of us who suffer with anxiety know how it can trip us up when we least expect it - sometimes the negative way we can sometimes think prevents us from enjoying things we really want, we may sabotage our own happiness, feeling we don't deserve it, or perhaps it is just that we have stepped outside our comfort zone and that has triggered an attack. Whatever it is, if you have had anxiety since you were 15, you must have ways of coping with very uncomfortable feelings and situations. I expect you are experiencing a combination of triggers - but the only way to deal with how you feel and move forward is to confront it and then manage how it makes you feel. Hiding out with Mum and Dad will not achieve much - except superficial comfort.

    Ask yourself a few questions to see how you really feel, without the complication of anxiety. Moving in with someone is a huge step - you are making a commitment - and it is scary. You must have felt you were ready to take that step - did you? Or were you not really ready? You have been together for 3 years and been happy, you must have spent a lot of time talking about moving in together and making plans. How did you feel then ? Did you feel happy and positive? Having an anxiety attack on your second day could be just a reaction to being in a new situation. Think how you felt in your new home - did you like it? Were there money or other problems? Has your boyfriend been sympathetic and understanding about your anxiety - have you been able to talk to him about it?

    Starting to get a clearer view of what is actually going on will give you back some control over your life - and you can start to make some decisions and take action. Perhaps go and see your doctor and get a referral for some counselling to be able to better manage this horrible condition. Go to other online resources - like, or mind. It may be that learning to manage your anxiety needs to be your focus for now - to lay better foundations for your future - you are very young still and there is plenty of time to settle down.

    Good luck - let us know how you get on :)

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