what do I do??????

Ok so in the last 5 years I have lost 3 people who were very dear to me(all sudden deaths).I have been robbed at knifepoint,Ive put myself through a relationship that I know will never last/let myself be used because id fallen in love......hate my job......the list is endless and now I have no interest in anything.Noone knows.I come home and switch off the best I can.I put on the happiest front I can to others when inside all I want to do is die!

20 Replies

  • Hi there, I'm feeling abit the same too. Lost a friend 8 years ago when I was 15 in a horrible accident. Then got sent to boarding school n haven't coped with life very well since. Then I met someone amazing 3 years ago n life was the best it's been. We got engaged 4 months ago n only just moved in together 6 weeks ago n I hit rock bottom the 3rd day I was here :( I have separation anxiety from my family

  • awww bless you.and thanks for replying.im sure you will be fine hun.The guy i was seeing for last 2 and a half years is seeing someone else/i know it wont last...long story...lol.but its killing me.everything is just a chore now.i come home from work and sit and sleep and dont do anything and i know it s wrong/bad

  • Message me if you like. It helps a lot x

  • It's very hard hey. Without my parents around I have no motivation. :( I'll message you x

  • Hi,

    I did exactly the same as you are now with putting on a happy face, but inside I was in a turmoil of emotions and the negative voice in my head was convincing me that I was worthless, until one day I caught a virus and that led to endless appointments with my GP trying to work out what was wrong, them one day I just collapsed in tears at home and couldn't go to work. From then on I was put on antidepressants and sleeping tables much to my horror and it took some doing for my doctor to persuade me to take them. He also signed my up for some CBT courses to try and help me. It has been a long road, but recently we seemed to finally have my medication under control. I am not doing the stupid self-harm things I was doing and I feel like I am starting to cope. If you have someone close to you that you can talk to, you should do that as well as talk to your GP. As for your relationship. I've been married 9 years and in the past year my husband has told me he doesn't love me anymore and I've done some things that I am not proud of to try and regain his love. I have a good support team around me now and recently I told my husband we couldn't go on the way were are. I wanted us to both go to counselling to help us communicate better about our issues. He decided to move out for a few months and go stay with a woman who is having her own marital issues. He doesn't see why I am so upset about his choice of accommodation knowing that he's told me about all the other who have offered him a room and who are much closer to his work and his friends. He says there is nothing between them and he's staying in a spare room and doesn't understand why I am so upset because to him it's just a room.

    I still hate myself quite a bit at the moment as I feel like I am a weak person for suffering from anxiety and depression. However, I now have a good support team around me and as the medication seems to be working better for me at the moment I am finally starting to feel stronger and feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel.

    You will get there and I hope you and Rachms11 are able to help each other. Finding someone you can talk is a good thing.

    Take care and I know it is hard, but we are all good people and we deserve to be happy. Speak to your GP or at least someone you can feel you can talk to. Take things day by day and even if you don't feel like it try and get out and get some fresh air and make sure you are eating healthily.

    Take care and you can message me if you want.

  • Hi there,

    You've had so much happen to you, it's so unfair.

    Some things to keep in mind:

    Robbed at knifepoint - they didn't kill you or harm you (I'm not sure of this as you haven't gone into detail) but you are still here for sure!

    Relationships - hey, relationships suck. That's just the way it is. Most of them don't work out and we have all been used by other people. I have been in love twice but neither of those guys loved me back. Sometimes it's close friends who use and hurt us. But perhaps you have close friends/family who are there for you in times of need?

    Hate for your job - Most people either hate or are fed up with their jobs. I am working in a contact centre for slightly over the minimum wage even though I have a degree in Biological Science and my goal was to become a teacher. Unfortunately I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and I'm simply just not capable of being a teacher. I'm quite limited in what I can do actually. But the job I have now is good for me because my boss is understanding of the AS and knows I get upset/stressed. He's good at calming me down actually and I really appreciate that. So although I have been through some crap in life and have had bad luck, I'm also lucky in other respects and I do appreciate this job even though it's far from where I thought I'd be.

    TRy to put things in perspective. We all need others to do that for us at times (I was having a terrible time the other day. All my thoughts were negative. And sometimes we need people to help us turn it around.

    I hope you start to feel better and I hope I've helped raise your spirits a bit x

  • Hi there i'm one of Jehovah's witnesses and i would like to answer or show you the answers as to why life is like this. please for a moment don't blame yourself but look to what the scriptures say in the bible. one scripture to look at regarding all those who have fallen asleep in death if you have a bible look at Romans 5:12 that answers why we die, if you would like to know more please feel free to contact me and i will help you understand why we are in such and terrible mess and in a terrible world. hope this is a start for you to see the answers to life's big question. hope to speak with you again, the answers are there its knowing were to look.

  • Please don't use this website to do any of your ministry. It won't be received very well & I feel a little unfair on this type of forum if I'm honest. While I'm sure your intentions are good & honourable it's not as quick & easy to say that we should all go & sit in a kingdom hall or have a bible study. By all means offer some practical help/suggestions I just don't think offering religion (whether it's the "truth" or not) is the answer. But maybe that's just me.

  • hi there no i fully understand and i hope i wasn't doing anything that cause offence please except my apologies if i have, i was just letting you know where to find answer, we all need an helping hand, take care it's been nice talking with you. bigalan.

  • I didn't personally take offence & mostly don't have a problem talking about religion or any other subject. But others on here do have a problem with it (as I found out the other day). I'm sure as you know, religion can be a very emotional & divisive subject. I think that people are very apathetic when it comes to it in this country & most don't like to feel it's being push or thrown in their face. But as a JW I'm sure I'm preaching to the converted as it were (pun intended).

  • hi i'm glad i didn't offend you i think you get use to what people say. the biggest problem i have is when i see someone down in spirit i try and help them just to see that there is something better for us all take care speak with you another time. bigalan

  • Thank you.And ye,a chat would be good

  • hi there good morning hope your ok today

  • HI.Not too bad today but been in work so dont get time to dwell on stuff.Hope you are good?

  • HI there my day been busy glad now at end of day to relax and waiting for my dinner i'm hungry apart from that just has normal if i can be call normal people think i'm abnormal but that just life take care speak with you again hopefully.

  • lol.I didnt take it personally either.Nice of you to have replied =)

  • Hi Sanblu,

    It sounds as if you have had a very difficult time. It also sounds as if you are making sure that no one knows you are withdrawing, so it is really good that you have decided to let people on here know how hard this is for you. I think that anyone who has experienced such difficulties would be finding things really hard. It is very difficult to see a positive future right now. The thing that helped me was to write three things that I was grateful for, each day. I didn't keep it up for very long but it helped me see some positives through a very difficult time. Sometimes I remember writing that I was grateful nothing really bad happened that day! It may work for you. It may not. I would encourage you to let someone other than the people here know what you are going through. Someone who you think will be sympathetic. I really do wish you well.

  • Thanks hun.You are right.I cant let my family know how I feel.One of the losses was my sister in law and my brother will never get over it.It breaks my heart.I have spoken to my best friend last week.....probably not told het how bad I do feel.BUT I have a week off soon and im going to see my doctor.I cant go on like this.Thank you for taking the trouble to reply.xx

  • I really hated the thought of you feeling this way with no one to support you. I am so pleased to hear that you have confided in a friend and made a plan to visit your doctor. I recall times in my life when I had similar circumstances and recall very similar feelings of hopelessness and isolation. It sounds as if you are moving from a place of hopelessness and I wish you luck in that journey.

  • Thanks hun.Hope you are well =)

You may also like...