I'd really appreciate some advice on getting motivated. Basically, I have my final exams from May 4th to May 22nd, when I will have finished school. I am so excited to finish as my depression really started when I came to this school and 5 years on, I am nearly there. I won't be out of the woods completely when I finish school though, as it is by no means the only source of my depression. But hopefully I will be slightly happier and will be able to enjoy life more, and get out more, without the constant pressure and torment I've endured over the past 5 years. I'd like to meet some new people and try some new things when I finish.
Anyway, in the short term, I am really struggling to get motivated to do any work at all. I had a 3 week easter break and have been back at school one week. I couldn't bring myself to do any revision or work at all in the holidays, and I've had a really tough past week having come back. So the big exams start in 8 days and I haven't done an hours work for 4 weeks. Every time I sit down to do something I just think about all the miserable things going on in my life, or something someone has said to me that day, and give up all too quickly. I can't focus on anything or think straight at all because I can't block out the feelings of my depression. I can't even sit down and do one practice paper or half an hours revision without breaking down. And I don't even want to imagine what sort of results I'm going to get if I carry on like this.
It hasn't helped that I have been isolating myself a lot in my boarding house as well. At times, I can't even bare to look at some of the guys in my house, I hate them so much. They've given me the worst 5 years imaginable and I just can't take it any more. I'm completely worn out and out of ideas, at completely the wrong time. I just don't know what to do anymore!
I'd really appreciate any support or advice