Sometimes this feeling comes on so strong I am filled with absolute hate towards myself. I never broke any laws or anything like that I need to seek forgiveness for per se. I just hate me for being me. I've heard all the 'political correct' things people say when they hear someone self loathes. I do volunteer work, have a full time job and have a supportive partner for the last 3 years. I take medication, see my doctor and get regular exercise. When I say how I feel my partner listens and says what I am saying is not what he sees in me. But there has been times I felt so bad I hid in a barn to avoid a staff Christmas party. Yes - a barn. Another time I hid behind an opened door against the wall to avoid being hauled off to a staff group photo. I just felt so disgusting I had to hide. I will throw in there that I am somewhat underweight. How do other people experience self- loathing. I don't drink and cutting doesn't appeal to me. My weapon against myself is food. I like when I am extremely hungry because it is a distraction when I am struggling.
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