Me part4

[Humphrey42]

Hello everyone,

Didn't really have a great weekend. I know what has to be done, socialise a bit more at the weekend and the evenings, whatever that format that entails. Just a bit cheesed off with myself really. You have to take control. Sunday is a killer at the moment. Just go down the pub to be around people how sad is that I will be watching the Panorama programme tonight. It's about male suicide. Hopefully it will interesting and helpful. On a more positive note I have been looking after my self a bit better. Having a shower rather a wash every day. You just get in a mindset what's the point and don't care and just cant be bothered. Anyway enough of my ramblings. Pretty sad that this is really only the forum a lot of people find to express how they feel. Cheerio and have a good day. Andy

[Stilltrying_]

Hello Andy, yes I agree that weekends can be a big struggle. Thanks for highlighting the Panorama programme; I am just about to watch it.

I think you are right in what you say that it IS a shame that we are in a land of so many people and yet this forum is the only place where many feel that they can be heard; people "on the outside" can seem to have a very limited mindset in terms of understanding anyone who wants to delve beneath the surface of things.

It sounds good that you're managing a shower rather than a wash over and yes be proud of those small steps. I think that taking a pride in our appearance and disciplining ourselves in that way can bring about it's own rewards, as can eating properly and just trying to keep on top of our daily routine.

Nice to hear from you again Andy. Gemma x

[Obriens3]

Hi, I also struggle with my motivation and can relate to this. On my lowest days could not be bothered to get up out of bed, washed or even dressed. Went on like this for two weeks sleeping constantly. Eventually nagging from friends and work colleagues got me up. As well as having to go down to the surgery to get a certificate to sign me off. Don't know if your working but that really helped get me up and outta bed, fear off losing the job cos I have a mortgage xx do you have something to motivate you ?

[Obriens3]

You worry me, keep in touch xx

[21esme]

Hi Andy,

Despite a bad weekend you seem positive, it is really easy to think what is the point, I don't deserve to wear something nice etc. I've been there when I'm really down myself. You are right you have to take control to combat loneliness and isolation. It is hard though,

I will watch the panorama programme on iplayer. I read about it online today in the Guardian and it looked very poignant,

Sarah

[Stilltrying_]

Have just watched the programme Andy. It was very good and reminds men to communicate how they are feeling. I hope you feel able to do that on here as we are here to listen. How are you doing right now?

[Humphrey42 in reply to Stilltrying_]

Thanks for asking Gemma. This morning I had a shower. I can get a bus to work but its possible to walk part of the way. I did this this morning which made me feel so much better, felt alive. Trying by small steps to improve like trying to eat properly. Feeling OK. They key is not being too ambitious and failing. Loneliness is a killer at the moment. How are you by the way?

[Stilltrying_ in reply to Humphrey42]

It's important I feel and helpful to start taking care of the "small stuff" as it can give you a focus and if you can walk a bit and eat properly it is nice to see the improvements. I am sort of ok (if I don't think too much!)). I tend to just set myself the goal of getting through the day. I admire people who are able to work as this would be a massive mountain for me to climb. I think work is proabably one of the most stressful things ever as one is having to relate to people all day and adjust and so on so as I say I admire you for being able to go to work. What sort of work do you do? Does it help with your depression?

[Humphrey42 in reply to Stilltrying_]

In some ways it helps because if provides a focus and structure for the week. I get on with the other people I work with, so it helps with the loneliness. Sometimes you are valued. Sometimes though it can be a struggle when you are feeling low, it can feel like an added pressure. It can be stressful at times, but also quite relaxed. I work in financial accounts not very exciting but it pays the mortgage. That must be hard just trying to get through the day. At least its a very nice day, time to sit outside and read something you like All the best Andy

[Stilltrying_ in reply to Humphrey42]

I don't really feel that I can sit outside because i worry about people looking at me; I'm a very private person really. I just went out and put out a load of weedkiller in the area around the back of where i live but I wouldn't sit out ! Silly! I seem to always have to drive myself to be doing some task, but I don't really do much.

I think it's great that you have a job where there are people you get on with and financial accounts sounds pretty good to me, so give yourself a pat on the back for that.

I think the key for you is the time you have off work where you've got into the habit of just sitting in the pub. Maybe there is something else you have an interest in? I go walking. Is there anything you have ever fancied doing ? Are you sporty, artistic, photography maybe? Just a thought. I don't know you well obviously but thought maybe this could help.

[Obriens3]

Hi Andy how you doing ? Xx

[Obriens3]

I managed to get my but outta bed today have a shower and go to work. Was so hard just wanted to sleep more but I done it lol. How you doing my sweet ? X

[Humphrey42 in reply to Obriens3]

The brighter mornings do help. I try to go outside in the back garden for a bit of fresh air which makes me feel better. Did have a shower and walked part of the way to work, which was good. I've been trying to focus on looking after my body this week and that is my focus just very small pluses steps that will wake me feel better consistently and keep the depression away.

[Hidden]

Hello Andy

When I was in my mids 40 I felt that it would be a good idea to just help myself over with my Opiates, I only tried once to end it all and that was enough for me as I explained before. Personally it is letting other people who love me down that stopped me.

i am glad you are managing better now, although do not be so frantic to make friends, you want that to be more of a getting to know the person and their interests. With me I took on interests and met people in that casual type of way.

Good luck Andy you know where we are for support. I was in hospital for tests last week and had an interesting time watching a television showing my innards. So that was interesting. Life can be interesting and very thought provoking.

BOB