Am I alone with thsi

[Phoenix2173]

This isnt an easy thing to do but I often look at my life and see myslelf alone with few people to talk to about my problems. Its not always easy to see all those around you pairing off and you seem to be left on the shelf. Then on top of that dealing with people at work who seem to think that you are there to be sworn at an abused because they are under stress from their own job. Its as if im stuck and what ever I do never seems to be good enough of they change the goalposts after you have done the task. Its silly I know to allow these things to get to me but it does and then it feeds itself in my mind making things worse for me. Am I alone in this; does anyone else feel that society demands so much of us and when we dont achieve this to its deadlines we punish ourselves.

[secondhandrose2]

It's good that you realise that YOU are not the problem, but that society is - by demanding too much of people. All my friends feel the same way, they were in jobs they had once loved but had come to dislike and feel stressed all the time, so looked forward to retirement. It's sad. You can write whatever you like on here and we will respond as soon as we can, we're a really supportive lot of people, a friendly bunch of mixed ages and problems.

Suexx

[Phoenix2173 in reply to secondhandrose2]

Thanks its not an easy thing to even admit you have a problem. I guess its the first step in beating it

[secondhandrose2 in reply to Phoenix2173]

Yes, it definitely is. It's sobering to realise that at least one in ten of us struggles at any one time with depression or some other psychological problem. I find writing on the site is really helpful, it's like having a friend at the end of the phone, I feel I know half a dozen people really well and a few others not so well, then there are the new people like you and it's always nice to welcome people and care about them too, it all helps take us out of ourselves I find and that's half the battle.

What kind of job do you do? Most of my friends are in the caring professions and even in them find there is a high level of stress and a lack of care from management, but in some work it is even worse. I hope they pay you reasonably for what you do, at least that is some compensation!

[Phoenix2173 in reply to secondhandrose2]

Thanks its nice to hear from people. Im a civil servant and they have a habit of leaving things till the last minute or not telling you anything at all then blaming you when its not ready. A thankless task all stick and no carrot so no motivation to do it. Im sick of being f'd and blinded at by arrogent idiots.

[secondhandrose2 in reply to Phoenix2173]

Oh no! I worked in the Civil Service once - last 6 months, couldn't wait to get out - and I imagine it's a lot worse now... Poor you! Can you think of anything you'd rather do, that you might train or re-train to do?

[Phoenix2173 in reply to Phoenix2173]

Im looking now but confidence is at a low at the moment so a little stuck. i will get there I wont let them win

[Hidden]

Hi nice to meet you and welcome to the site. I know how you feel. My last job was in the DWP contact centre on the telephones. It wasn't at all high powered but incredibly stressful as it was target driven and the targets were set so high no one could reach them (literally). This was how they 'encouraged' staff to work harder and smarter. Many people were sacked through time off with stress and depression and I was one of them! It was a killer...

I am fortunate though now to be 61 and able to take private pensions though I won't get my state one until 2019. I don't think I could work much now because of the lasting effects that awful job had on me. I have never been the same since.

Is it possible for you to get a less stressful job? There are only 2 ways to deal with people taking it out on you - either learn not to care, this is 'water off a ducks back' attitude or to give it back to them in spades. They will soon stop that nonsense!

Stick with us and we will do our best to help and support you. x

[Phoenix2173]

Thanks Im working on that now it will be nice to have a job where people dont do what ever they please and then put the consiquences onto others. It gets to you after a while i was so low at one point contemplating doing something silly but getting over that now.

[Hidden]

Hello

I used to work in the Public Services many years ago and the people I used to work with were very unpleasant and spiteful, I became disabled and was retired from a position that was interesting and basically my own boss. The problem was everyone was watching everyone else and the Bosses just sit on their thumbs and delegate, then when things went wrong they used to pass the thing down the line and were not interested where the muck stuck. The problem was this sort of attitude went down through the whole staff and the whole thing was very nasty

I was eventually Medically Retired and that was over twenty years ago. So I become a pensioner this year and to be honest I was glad to get out of that bear garden when I did.

Mind I did marry a Civil Servant and we have been married now nearly thirty years and we still get on quite well as we do everything together.

BOB

[Phoenix2173]

It seems to be the norm for the civil service then the bosses dont seem to care only wanting themselves to look good for the higher ups

[secondhandrose2]

Not just in the civil service, it is a general attitude in many work environments now...