Causes of My Depression, ADHD, Panic and Anxiety Disorders

Causes of My Depression, ADHD, Panic and Anxiety Disorders

Here is a list of what causes my depression, ADHD, panic and anxiety disorders:

•Growing up poor

•Growing up gay

•My abusive father

•My sickly mother

•My paranoid schizophrenic brother

•The loss of my mom

•The loss of my dad

•The loss of my good friend, William

•The loss of my job

•The loss of my dreams

•Inability to pay back credit cards

•Inability to pay back student loans

•Not having a boyfriend (someone to love)

•As an adult, lack of connection with my siblings (bored w/them or don't have anything in common with them)

•Losing my car

•Having bad credit

•The inability to acquire a meaningful job

•I don't have any social or professional connections (especially those with influence that are able to offer me help)

•When I am employed, I earn very little money

•Cold uncaring bosses

•I have bad coping mechanisms, such as tuning people out (ADHD)

•I am frustrated, unhappy and perplexed due to interpersonal, social and ethical conflicts

I am a human being that for no fault of my own, suffered so much, when I had no ability to change or leave the parenting environment or fight back, that I chose to tune out. I would like to tune back in again. Psychotherapy has been an effective method of helping me, not to recover from an "illness", but rather to learn about myself, others and life.

17 Replies

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  • Now to balance it out a bit Richard: You have a roof over your head, food to eat, heat, you have friends, you have access to a computer with the world at your fingertips. You are ALIVE.

    You also come over as a lovely person with a good sense of humour. You are intelligent, and self aware, you don't have any physical deformities, your health is ok. Your experiences have made you who you are and that's not all bad is it? You are young and have HOPE.

    Now that's a bit better isn't it?

    Bev xx

  • Lovely post Bev. I agree.

    xx

  • Lovely reply, Bev. Thank you. :)

  • You are welcome chuck :) Bev x

  • Thank you for sharing your list - I have done a similar one :) Psychotherapy was also what enabled me to understand how being depressed was a natural response to what had happened in my life. Well done for being brave enough to look at your life, I hope you have a happier future. xx

  • Yes, I think looking honestly at my life has saved me. It's difficult to do—but essential. Thank you, secondhandrose2. ;)

  • Hi Richard you sound like a bright man, who had a bad start for sure.

    If I were to write a list like that I think it would make me feel worse not

    Better. But we are all different and different things help us.

    I think everyone has a list of stuff even if they are rich or a CEO.

    Think of what you have now and you have a way of being. Now is what matters,

    Have you thought about writing a book about your experiences? Might

    Be a best seller .

    Good to hear from you and I love your cat cartoon picture.

    Hugs to you

    Hannah x

  • Thank you, Hannah. Although it would be a challenge (esp. w/my ADHD), I would love to write a book or perhaps even a screenplay someday. Glad u liked the cat cartoon picture! Lol. ;)

  • For every single statement, someone else could find something positive to say about it. The issue is that you find the negative. Try as an exercise to see how you can find a positive point to make for as many as possible. For example. I grew up poor so I have no high expectations to fulfill, and anything I make is a bonus. Also, no-one can accuse me of being a spoiled rich kid. I will take pride in being a self made success story.

    Basically it does not matter what you think caused your depression in your past, what matters is where you go from here. How can you turn it all around?

  • Although I agree with what you write - I think that with depression an inability to find positive things to say is exactly the point, especially if someone is still struggling with the effects of those experiences. Saying positive things about them would just be denial.

  • I agree with that for sure, I think writing a list like this is very

    Negative, glass half full for sure. We could all write a Long

    List. It will make you feel worse, that's what I think too.

    It's how you handle these negatives points that's important.

    Hannah xx

  • I would also say that a lot of the items above might be BECAUSE you have ADHD, etc. Get treatment for them and you might feel more positive and be more successful. It is hard to know though, so try anything you can.

  • Richard

    You need to look at your list and make another that shows the positive things that you could do to make things better, and more positive.

    One thing I remember when I was taking all these NHS courses was to make a list like the one above and by little bits and bites try and make things better from the negative to the positive, when a situation becomes to difficult leave that problem alone and look and the next problem on the list, Keep a list next to the negative one and colour the positive action green, red or yellow etc and hopefully, eventually you will find these problems become more achievable.

    You will only make changes if you look for activities especially that will assist you getting through your list. So look for activities that will make you interact with others with the same interests, mark on your list the positive things and continue along that vein. Sometimes a small change can make a large difference.

    Sad you may not be able to change your job, although that will not stop you from looking around. With family, sad to say I am not a person to ask. If you can visit, talk and explain your ideas and wishes, you may find that they can make you feel better with your memories and help you round off your negative feelings, you may suprise yourself how your feelings interlock with your own.

    Little steps, lead to larger steps and a run, Be understanding to your needs and do not be over critical

    BOB

  • Insightful post stressbuster. Thanks for sharing. Gemma X

  • BOB has made a very good point there. I find sharing the negatives of my childhood with my sisters has not only validated my feelings but talking through them has led to more understanding for all of us. Bev x

  • One of my sons is gay and his wonderful partner has ADHD which he has channeled in to working in the mental health sector, started his own registered charity to help young lives, he takes those who have earned it, to Africa and they built a school house and an orphanage.

    My son keeps him on track ensuring his meds are taken etc, and now they are fostering a second child whose parents are incarcerated, the first was such a success story that they now have this 2nd child.

    So my love you are very needed in whatever you do, walk tall and don't beat yourself up, you will succeed. xx Dens

  • Thank you, Dens! :)

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