Depression or something else

Hi lady's and gentlemen and young adults I have been on medication for a number of years eight years + the thing is I am on medication because of an accident that happened when I was four having to learn to walk and talk after the accident I went through teenage life with anger attitude and disliking of been told what to do I am not happy never have been and the doctors say it's just depression but on a good day why would I go to see the gp ? And on a bad day I don't go to see gp any ways what with my mind doing over time and the added stresses of my daily life I am not moaning that I am feeling sad and low I am just sick of been on medicatin I want a normal life and be able to do things like hold a conversation with people I don't know I stumble with my words so when or if people try talking I tend to just shrug my shoulders or say nothing it's not easy telling your gp what's going on in my head or what I see hear because I am scared of been thrown in a lonely place yes I do have an auntie that's a little loopy but that's never spoke of well not with the other part of the family I just let it out not having that filter that people have said after a brain injury person has is some what good but also some what annoying because I have had family members fall out with me not talking and also if am seen they try hiding but that don't bother me the bit that does is the doctor says it's just depression am now on 200mg of sertraline and 25mg of amityiptalin for nerve pain I feel like my life is worthless and pointless I am only here because of my kids they need me everything else can go for me thanks for reading

3 Replies

  • It is so hard for you with this day to day struggle, I do understand and there are always people on here who listen and understand as we all have our difficulties.

    It must be so difficult having people misunderstand your behaviour and as you say difficult to talk to your GP incase you are misunderstood too. You are right of course that the brain injury will affect your behaviour which is no fault of your own but people are not always tolerant of other's difficulties.

    You say you are sick of being on medication and I can relate to a certain extent as don't enjoy feeling numbed out, lack of concentration and so on; sometimes these are unfortunate side effects to stop worse things from happening but it is still worth trying to explain to your GP if you feel the medication could be adjusted or to explain the side effects you are having.

    Sometimes we have lives we would rather not have but as you say it's important to find a purpose and you are lucky in a way you have your children who need you and that will always give you a purpose to carry on and hopefully they give you some joy too.

    Is fine to have a moan on here as well; I do sometimes; its always good to talk :)

    Gemma X

  • Hi, I can understand you finding it awkward to talk to your GP. I understand that you don't feel like going to the doctor on good days. I found that on the days I have an appointment but I feel okay that I don't want to bother my GP either but I make myself go as I can then remember more of what my GP has said when I leave and I have never been made to feel like I shouldn't be there.

    On the good days I have even gone along with a list of things that I wanted to talk about and found it easier to talk about them cause I was having a good day and I had my list so I couldn't forget what I wanted to say. (Still took my a while to say that I thought I was going crazy, but I got there.)

    I don't know if making a list would help you, but you could try it and see.

    Your lucky that you have kids as unfortunately when I have the days where I am thinking "what is the point" I don't even have kids that I can say I want to see them grow-up.

    I have also seen 2 GPs at my health centre one that for some reason I can talk to allow it has taken a long time to admit all that I am feeling and all that is happening to me, but the other one I didn't feel I could talk to at all. So now I make my appointments well in advance and won't see anyone else than the GP I can feel I can talk to.

    The good thing is that if you can talk here then that is a start and don't give up.

  • Hi, I understand it must be very difficult at times to be understood. Depression can make you think of all sorts of different things. I hear what you are saying but, and I am not criticising you and know you are only using a conversational type language,but this site is used by many people and so please be aware when you use what some may find offensive labeling terms. As this is not really helpful to peoples situations or possibly their self esteem. Cheers ThrillSeeker and I hope you feel better about things soon. HT1

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