Will anyone understand?

Hi everyone, I'm an 18 year old male, who is uncertain and in need of help. I'm not sure if my symptoms are a sign of depression or if everyone suffers from this, but for the past 10 months or so I have felt very down and detached. I have lost a lot of motivation recently and have stopped following what was once my passion, football. I used to play every week and watch it constantly however I do not find it, or anything else for that matter, as enjoyable as I used to.

I've also noticed that I struggle to get to sleep most nights and spend many hours lying in my bed thinking about some very dark things. I do not speak to many of my friends as much as I used to and I cannot face talking to them about how I feel, they wouldn't understand. It's a similar story with my parents, whom i still live with as I'm still in full time education, I can't face telling them that I feel so down, I don't want to disappoint them more than I already have. For the first time last night I seriously thought about ending my own life, and only by lack of courage to do so am I still here. No one who knows me understands. Perhaps the worst part about all of this is that I cannot find any clear reason as to why I feel so low and how can I make people understand?

Thank you,

Jamie Young

13 Replies

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  • Jamie find someone you can talk to , I have been Lucky as I find this site helps me more than anything else Put your thoughts down let folk see them I am sure someone will help you, I understand how you feel,, I feel low and a let down , I feel I have let my children and parents down because I never visit anymore! (my father comes to see me but only for money hopefully now he has been to rehab he wont ask anymore) I have been a loner from what I have been told more interested in Learning than mixing with people ! I also have very dark thoughts of Suicide but try to go to a place in my mind that calms me down and makes me think of the Hurt and pain it will cause the ones who genuinely love me for me! Sometimes I think If I had spoke out said something perhaps I would not be this middle aged SINGLE male searching for something but dont know what it is! Talk to someone I think nowadays people accept depression and depressed family members in a better light than before so you may be impressed by your parents reaction if not Parents try your DR! but seriously talk to someone!

  • Oh bless you, you do need to find someone you can trust to talk out your feelings. I know it's hard,as I can really relate to how you feel.i do understand how difficult it is to talk to your family. You hve so much life to live and if all else fails visit the doctor.you will get help and understanding.don't fight this alone.its a horrid feeling isn't it and it makes you feel very alone.just remember your a loved and special person,and we are on this site to support and hopefully inspire each other to try and move through the pain and we all deserve a good life. Always happy to chat and letting your feelings out is very important. You've taken the first step?well done.

  • Hi Jamie

    It does sound like you have depression - check out mentalhealth.org.uk/help-in...

    You can always talk to the Samaritans about how you feel, no matter how dark the thoughts are samaritans.org/how-we-can-h... it might be easier then to talk to people you know.

    Like the others say, go and see your doctor. You could write down your symptoms beforehand and tell him/her. You don't have to suffer this.

    Good luck.

    Libby

  • Im not a doctor , but it sounds like depression to me, im 48 and suffered on and off since I was 17, im currently on medication again .You've made the first step to post this, now get the help that deserve ,good luck.Let us know how you get on.

  • To add to the previous well informed replies, I suggest you 'unload' all your thoughts and fears to a professional counsellor trained to help. Their detachment and guidance will undoubtedly help you. You could ask your GP for a referral to an NHS counsellor. If you mention your suicidal thoughts, which you must, your GP should act promptly.

    I was a semiprofessional footballer and it took over my life. When I stopped I felt my life's purpose had disappeared. But I found a new passion to fill the void. Be aware of two things about a footballer's life - the dressing room banter with out team mates is a prop or crutch on which we rest too much. Secondly, a player looks for external validation too much - You play well and score a goal, you are a hero and on top of the world. But you play badly and concede a goal or miss a sitter and you are dropped and feel an outcast. Look inwards for your self-esteem. A trained counsellor can guide you. Many local mental health groups provide telephone help lines and free or low cost counselling. Take advantage of these. Happy hunting.

  • Jamie, just remember all problems are temporary. And time heals everything. You've probably been through some stressful moments in your life—didn't realize they would impact you so powerfully—and you are not alone in this. Depression feels awful. I know, because I have it too! When you're in bed ruminating (thinking dark thoughts), jump on YouTube and do some guided meditation at low volume. iTunes has great relaxing channels such as "All Nature Music." It will divert your attention and relax you. Definitely seek out a therapist. Just being able to open up to someone other than your friends or family will get you thinking differently. Message me if you need to talk more... We're on this thing to help each other out! :)

  • Hi, Go and see your GP and discuss your problem -----

    I think that Health unlocked should set up a web site for young people with life problems and possible mental health problems I really do not think this sight however good should be for young people with

    all the will in the world to support young people it take a trained eye to support correctly. I know people will disagree on the site but get it some thought/Debate please. I am concerned that young people have no place to go for help learning skills/and support with problems they have. Reading this sight could depress them further or they could think they have depression when clearly they do not!! just a thought.

  • Hi Jue yes I totally agree with you, every teen has ups and downs

    That could be caused by life, school,family. It might be the normal stress

    That teens go through not necessarily Depression.

    I think they are best going to a Dr. For advice.

    Hannah

  • I do agree with you Jue1. You are not the only member here who is concerned at the increasing number of youngsters coming in suffering from, as you say, life problems and maybe mental health issues. To have trained people on a site would cost money and the sites on health unlocked are charities without the necessary funds. There are teen sites which might be more appropriate for youngsters and if they are at University there are student counsellors. They can also access help if they are still at school.

    I think there should be a lot more funds available to help all of us but unfortunately mental health issues are the poor relation of the NHS and I can't see this changing in the foreseeable future. But at least sites like this can offer support even if it is not trained support.

    Bev x

  • Dear Jamie,

    Welcome to HU. I am glad you found us. I am sad about you feeling so alone and unable to talk to your family. How can we help?

    Maddy

  • DO NOT WORRY YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO IS FACING ALL THIS , WELL MY LIFE IS MORE WORST THAN YOU MY PARENTS SEPARATION AND BROKEN RELATIONSHIP SPOILED MY LIFE BADLY AND THAN I FACED BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS END UP IN WORST BREAK UPS AND IM 24 BUT LIFE MADE ME FEEL LIKE SUCKS N DOWN MOST OF THE TIME. NO SOCIAL LIFE NO FRIENDS AND SITTING AND THINKING ALL DAY ALL NIGHT .... :( ITS SO HARD FOR ME TO COP WITH ALL THIS I GET VIOLENT AGGRESSIVE AND IN THE SAME TIME I SAY THOSE WORDS WHICH I SHOULD NOT SUPPOSED TO ......... DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WHAT TO SAY.............

  • Helloe SITARA21 nice to meet you and welcome to the site. I am sorry your life is so bad at the moment but I don't think it is helpful to say your problems are worse than Jamie's or anyone elses as no one knows all the ins and outs of anyones situation.

    The only advice I can give to both of you is if you feel you have a mental health issue you need to seek professional help and your doctor is your first point of call. x

  • Hi Jamie,

    Yes, it sounds like depression to me, pretty clearly. (Some people also get digestive problems, too. Without going into gross detail, either things moving too fast or too slow is also a symptom of depression. For me, it was too slow.)

    I also don't think it's a normal teenage thing - 10 months is too long. I strongly suggest you get help: doctor, parents, counselor at school, whoever you can talk to. And keep talking and asking for help until you get it. I think you are right to suspect something is going on - it seems like you have good instincts and you should trust them.

    Also a warning: In teenage boys, there's a higher incidence of suicide just as medication for depression is starting to work. It's like they were too tired before, but as soon as they start to get better, they get enough energy to take themselves out. If they had just waited, they would have gotten completely better and had wonderful, happy lives - careers, wives, kids, etc. So if you get that urge, please, please, please don't act on it! Wait, call a suicide hotline, talk to someone, whatever it takes. It might just mean that you're starting to get better, and I want you to have all the good stuff in life, and not give up too soon.

    -K

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