Problem Days

Good morning all,

Sometimes I gt out of bed and my new day begins in pain from my medical condition. It seems I am entering a flare and everything just seems to get on top of me as I suffer, pains in my, spine, neck legs and hips not forgetting my toes.

These flares do not just attack on area, they also effect other joints and areas of my body.

Late last week I started bleeding from my rear end and had to see the GP regarding that and now I have to go in for tests in hospital, so now I am on one big dose of anti-byiotics in case I suffer an infection. So I am really chuffed.

We had a lovely weekend on the Scottish Borders and had to come back early as we were to have work done around the house, although now we understand they cannot get the work done until Saturday, we were cursing as we could have had an extra day away. Although I would have suffered the flare when I was away and would have been unable to get back without a great deal of suffering.

Monday will again see us away visiting very good friends in Scotland, I dread the drive as it will be very much in pain throughout. Hazel cannot drive and have booked up a cottage and now have to go.

Coming home early gives us a whole dose of paperwork that we now feel obligated to do, as we had hoped to get all when we came back from Scotland. Now I am climbing the wall with pain and my reactive Depression is really kicking in and this is when I become sometimes at risk. Although I do not think I would travel down that route now I still become like a wounded bear and can be verbally strained and I upset all those around me and I get very unpleasant and that always worries me as I have no-one I can call regarding this as now I cope with my Chronic condition on my own.

It would seem that my medications have burnt my stomach lining with medications and I am unable to square the circle with my flare and bleeding, so I am totally at a loss.

So depression comes in many packages. Life is a bitch and a learning period so I will finish my mail and hopefully I will be able to rest by tonight, as my medical system weakens my immune system, hence the anti-biotics.

BOB

6 Replies

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  • Hello Bob

    You and I have been friends a long time and you have always given sound advice. This post is no exception.

    One point I did pick up was you mention of reactive depression and feeling like a wounded bear. How you speak to those closest. As this is how David speaks to me, all too often, I am interested in how Hazel copes? What does she say or do? How does she feel?

    Your friend

    Pat x

  • Hello Pat.

    Generally I am just a little snappy, to Hazel and I do not become that unreasonable. As long as she knows She is attentive and she knows and anticipates my feelings. Personally I suppose I have learnt my lesson and she gives as good as she gets.

    Generally it is others like workmen or people who do not know me as I never take fools likely. She will get me to play with PAX as the dog now has been trained to understand when I am ill.

    He sits at my feet and I just strock his head. So generally I can control much of it at home, as long as I do not need to make decisions.

    I hope all is ok with you and David, I do not suffer at the same level and I have had to learn not to hurt those who know and look after me It is interlopers that I need to show elevated patience with

    me

    All the best

    BOB

  • Hi Bob I'm really sorry to hear about your flare up. It must be very hard on you .

    I'm sure Hazel knows you might be cranky and cross because your ill. Pain can drop

    Us in to Depression but the pain will pass as flare ups do end. Take it easy and

    Just try and think about Hazel and be kind to her too

    Sending you a warm healing hug and hope it improves very soon

    Hannah x

  • Bob I can completely understand with the flare up how everything gets on top of you as I find the same myself that when the physical pain goes up then it makes everything so much harder. I'm sorry I don't have any words of wisdom as not too great myself but did want you to know I've read and understood. Do you sometimes feel that the meds are swirling around your system and you feel "all over the place" as I do sometimes and I'm not sure if what i'm experiencing is a result of the physical pain the meds, the depression or what; it can all just feel too much and a mish-mash but then when the physical pain levels calm down or stabilise it can become more manageable.

    Only thing I can say is that hopefully you have better times as well as these flares so maybe as you're a "bear" anyway (you said you're like a "wounded bear ") maybe just "bear with it". I'm trying to inject a bit of humour (not being sarcastic); sometimes if I didn't laugh I would cry; it can get so absurd that I actually do just start laughing at times.

    Seriously I do know how bad it can be though Bob, so sending love to you, and hope it eases a little soon. Regarding the outsiders yes it can really get to you (me) I know it can be so difficult but just aim to minimise outside stress levels as much as you can.

    Gemma XX

  • Hello Gemma

    Have taken instruction of taking medications like just in time and Hazel plays war with me when I try and get on with my standard dose. Tonight I will take additional medications although my neck, yes I am a pain in the neck makes me feel dizzy, so I am always careful. I will increase my standard pain medication by 50% in the first instance, then a further 50% in the morning.

    I need to sort it out I was in our caravan for several days and was lucky to get back when I did, although I need to control the pain as I am supposed to be going away again soon to Perth.

    We have workmen here tomorrow so I am going to disappear into the garden and watch Hazel dig several new thirty foot borders. as they complete their tasks. As long as they do a good job I will be a good bear with a muddled brain due to medications, if they make a mess hear me growl !!

    Thanks for your concern all the very best

    BOB xxx

  • Ah bless you Bob :) X

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