Hi all, really hard one this please bear with me. I'm looking for some advice on a very hard situation.
My girlfriend of over 2.5 years (long distance - see each other every 2 weeks at the weekend, we're about 150 miles/ 3 hours apart) is suffering with serious depression and not seeing anyone about it. I'm 21, she is 20.
It all stems from when she lost her job in December. She lives in a seaside town with very little job opportunity's.
She is really suffering, not happy with her looks since (put on weight) she says she feels like she is living in misery, she is not hopeful about anything, she is convinced I will leave her, she says she doesn't see any point in anything, has no motivation for anything, the list goes on, she is completely depressed :(.
Her family aren't the most 'supportive' either, unfortunately they don't all get on too well which is a major problem, probably one of the many causes in my opinion.
Over the past couple of months things have gone from bad to worse, she's demoralised at the fact she can't get a job, she applies all the time and even gets an interview now and again but unfortunately nothing seems to come of them. I keep telling her to be positive and hopeful but this only lasts so long.
Previous to this when she was working she was loving and affectionate, went to the gym etc. She was doing an apprenticeship and the company got rid of her once they received their grant from the government, which is absolutely sickening. (They have since been banned from taking on any more apprentices.)
Since I've known her she has had anger issues, has had a few screaming fits with her mum etc, so now she's feeling depressed mixed with anger makes her go into a fit. The slightest thing will grate on her and little things set her off completely. (Like the sound of her brother TV through the wall)
Today she has told me she's been having these 'fits' which she rages unbelievably; in her own words (She's on the phone to me on loudspeaker as I'm typing this) 'I can't help it, if you saw it. it's like watching someone with severe mental issues' today she's said she's scared she will do something she can't go back on. This is the first instance I have been made aware of this inparticular.
Over the past 3 weeks she has started hinting to me about suicide, and the last few days has actually said it to me on the phone. This is really getting to me as it would to anyone, It's such a scary position to be in. She said when she's in these depressive states and fits there is one thing on her mind (the worst) and I can't bear the thought of it.
This is my first dealing with anything like this, I like to think I am quite headstrong and I am always there for her on the phone etc being the voice of reason. But it's gotten too much now and I'm scared this is a step too far.
I have no idea what to do anymore, I've called Samaritans and had a long cry down the phone to them as previous to this I hadn't spoken to anyone about it. The amount of pressure this is putting me under whilst working full time and self-funding my studies is absolutely killing me, yet I hide it all.
I'm actually mesmorised myself typing this back that hearing these things from her has become a normality to me, I can't quite believe I'm even typing this.
She keeps saying if she came to mine for a few days she would be back to normal, chilled, relaxed etc and also that 'moving out' or coming to mine solves all her problems. (I believe this is just slightly irrational behaviour, she knows full well money is involved to be able to move out; but she could talk about it all day. I think it could be down to the fact she sees it as her only way out and so likes to talk about it. But I worry that when she has to go back home she will have a breakdown and it would make things worse.
I know that if she got lucky and got a job she would improve tenfold. The other day she had an interview, and leading up to that point she was the happiest girl known to mankind, texting lovely things, saying she's doing some baking and going to the gym, absaloutely brilliant. I think she could maybe be bipolar? She has often said this herself before there was an issue. Her mood can go from completely fine to severely depressed 2 times a day.
As soon as she gets the slightest let down hell breaks loose again and she's down.
I've said she needs to see a specialist / doctor / GP and she says she has and they turned her away. But I think she didn't explain to them the full extent of what is going on. This is the step I am currently trying to pursue - getting professional help. I will ring them up myself if need be.
So my question is this, does anyone have any advice to offer, has anyone ever been in a similar situation? I am at a complete lost end now.
I've probably missed out tons of information as I have written this as my brain is in a complete mash up of whats gone on. I love the girl to pieces and I'm also scared some of the damage this has caused won't just go away.
I would really appreciate any responses.