Down again

[Maman2144]

Having decided to give up as treasurer I now have to face every one at the meeting on Tuesday night. Worried sick over it, I just want to run away. I am so tired of feeling this way, getting upset over trivial things that I can't control, worrying I haven't done the job properly, who will take over. I can't shut my brain off. Just keep going round in circles . Yesterday was so different, I felt okay and watched the rugby. But have been awake since four o'clock Feeling like a hamster in a wheel. Don't want to go near the hall but we are holding our literature group meeting there next month I am Worried that people will say that if I can go to that then there's nothing wrong with me, so many don't see the effort it takes just to cope with life. I want a sign round my neck saying I'm ill even if you can't see it. Sorry about the rant, I'd better have a cup of tea and take a few deep breaths. Regards Lorna

[Photogeek]

Hi Lorna hooe you enjoyed the Rugby. Ireland beat France here yesterday.

Lorna you have made the right decision for you and try and forget about what other

People will think. When we are Depressed we assume people will think the worst of

Us but that's our own distorted thinking due to Depression.

Have a few standard replys ready for the night so if someone says " oh are you

Not doing the Treadurer any more". Just say Yes that's right and then change the

Subject and ask them how they are.

Lorna you seem to be over worrying about this, have you been back to

Your Dr. You will make yourself I'll if you keep worrying over stuff.

You have nothing to worry about. You haven't committed a crime, you merely

Gave up Something that was causing you too much stress. End of story. So stop

Worrying .

Hannah x

[Maman2144 in reply to Photogeek]

Hi Hannah, you're right I am overworrying but that's me, I've already been back to my doctor's and had my medication increased but I'm going again in ten days. I'll do my best not to worry too much. Thanks for your kind advice. Regards Lorna

[Hidden]

Hello

If you feel you are uncomfortable in that post, you need to bring that point out at the meeting, so as far as I am concerned that is a good enough reason to retire from that post.

With me I just past down a post on a think tank, as I found that I did not agree with a duty that had been introduced. That was my decision.

Now I am being considered for two other posts that has been passed down from my GP Surgery. It is possible one of these posts will not be my cup of tea so I will concentrate on something else.

Personally I have no concern about this, all are Voluntary positions. We need to have an interest in what we do. If this is not the case what is the point, we need to be selective

If you have problems, WALK OUT !!!!!!

BOB

[Maman2144 in reply to Hidden]

thanks Bob, I'm going to do that but I'm not dealing very well with my feelings of failure and letting others down. Hope you find the voluntary job you will enjoy. I've decided that I'm retreating from the world for the moment and just sticking with friends I can trust. Regards Lorna

[LibbyR]

Hi Lorna

Good on you for giving up the treasurer post - have you told them, or will you announce it on Tuesday?

At the start of the year I decided to shed some commitments that were getting me down. I told the people concerned that I wasn't able to do them as well as I wanted to at the moment. I was really worried about doing it, and had to psyche myself up for ages to tell them, but everyone was fine and I need not have worried.

If these people care about you they will understand, if they don't care, then it doesn't matter what they think!

Look after yourself

Lx

[Maman2144]

Hi Libby thanks, yes I've told the chairperson and the old treasurer who has been helping me to learn the job. But this is a small village and full of gossip, something I only discovered when I joined the committee. I have decided to go back to just my close friends and forget about voluntary work. Regards Lorna

[Photogeek in reply to Maman2144]

Lorna that sounds good advice, small places can be gossipy

I know. But you know things s might be gossiped about for 1 day and

Then the gossips find something else to gossip about. That's the way

Of these empty gossip types, I hate gossip.

Stick with your true friends who will value you for the lovely person

You are.

Hannah x

[alcampbell4913]

Its a funny circle of events. Due to the depression I put on a false face and over compensate , I give out praise and encouragement to others.

this positive attitude gets me noticed at work and I get more work due to a can do attitude.

Its extremely difficult to say no I don't want too as I am struggling with depression.

I think its an awful illness.

when I can, I now say no sorry its not for me. if I don't the stress and worry just gets worse and worse.

I am using the 1,2,3, go every day at the moment to get through the day.

Best wishes .

Alan

[Stilltrying_]

Lorna you will probably guess if you've read any of my posts that I can completely relate to what you are going through and how you're feeling right now. It will be a very difficult thing to do on Tuesday, there are no two ways about it but I think Hannah's idea of getting a set response to any question is a really good one and just keep rehearsing it. Find a phrase you feel comfortable with eg. " Yes that's right. I have other commitments. Or " I'm afraid I'm unwell at the moment" or "I just feel it isn't right for me".And then whatever they say to that then maybe say "I don't really want to discuss it any more ; as i said I have other commitments at the moment" or whatever works for you. I would be terrified too if that helps at all!

I know you are worried about what they will do next but they will find a way of coping or even if they don't you have done your best and must not feel guilty about it.

One way of looking at it is that by the end of Tuesdsay evening, in two days time, the worst of it will be over. After that like Hannah says they may gossip for a few days and you will probably feel unsettled an nervous and worried about running into people but after a period of time you'll be able to create some distance between yourself and this incident and you will slowly return to a more settled state.

Please remember that even if you were not suffering from depression it would be understandable that the stress of the job may not be for you.

Also one way of being a bit nicer to yourself may be to tell yourself that the fact that you worry so much means that you are a conscienscious person and that is a very good quality to have.

I really hope that Tuesday goes well for you.

Gemma X

[Maman2144 in reply to Stilltrying_]

Hi Gemma thank for your kind reply. I hope I can get through the meeting . I'm sure that once it's over I will feel guilty for a while but I think in the long term it's the best thing to do. Regards Lorna

[Photogeek]

Great Reply. Gemma .

Hannah xx

[twist1]

Hi Lorna, just wanted to add my support to your choice and say take a deep breath x

Depression is a great leveller but I have also begun to look at it as a friend - yes I have the deep moods but I noticed some of them I fell into because the thing I was doing was just bringing me no joy and I did not want to admit it as to do so showed my vunerable side or may have caused me to break down in tears which I didn't want to do.

I started a course and ended up with a in situation I didn't like so walked away.

I think you'll find not many people like being treasurer. Were there many other volunteers for that role? If there was problem solved but I think you'll find there weren't many which is why you feel so guilty giving it up in which case you might find there's a precedent of people walking away.

Here's some options you can use. Praise the old treasurer saying how excellent they have been in not only managing the task but in training you. That leads you into explaining you didn't realise the full commitment the role needed and you misjudged the amount of time required. It should leave you with at least the old treasurer on your side.

You also have the tactic of saying although that is not for you you are more than open to considering other things and ask questions about other things you could possibly do. Remember you don't have to accept them and you could always start the next task with a caveat of I will have a probationary period see if it fits in with my commitments before you commit full time to doing it.

Be brave, if you want to stay, praise everyone else and win support for your efforts

Oh and by the way I have dabbled in accounting and even I wouldn't volunteer to be a treasurer its a thankless task, sometimes people have a go for no reason, some don't pay and you have to chase them, there are emergencies, fund raisers, etc etc etc pressure pressure pressure

So believe me run while you can, your not there to be liked by everyone your there to bring some joy if it's not happening it's not for you there is NO shame in that

[Maman2144 in reply to twist1]

Thanks very much for your advice. No one else wanted the job , that's how I ended up with it. I will praise the old treasurer as she has been very kind and admitted she was worried about me. But I have decide to leave the committee entirely and go back to sticking with my trusted friends only, my husband and my garden. Thanks again. Regards Lorna