Sorry for being a terrible person and... - Mental Health Sup...

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Sorry for being a terrible person and ruining your forum/site

Michelle1974 profile image
27 Replies

Sorry to all ladies and gentlemen for jumping in and ruining your forum.

I joined it in good faith and for all I have done wrong please accept my sincere apologies. If anyone feels that I need to be reported please do so as I deserve it.

I was looking for friendship and support. I had no intention to come across as anything else.

I have ruined it for myself and I will suffer. I know I am a waste of space but I am just me a total and utter loser.

I will remove myself from this forum if it helps,I can't take back anything I have done or said but I can punish myself for the sake of all others.

Thank you and sorry

Michelle74.

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Michelle1974 profile image
Michelle1974
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27 Replies

Michelle you listen up now you are not ruining anything. I enjoyed your post and it made me smile and there is nowt wrong with a bit of humour is there? Fair cheered me up it did :d

So forget about leaving or I will send the heavy mob round :) You hear? Luv ya

Love and hugs Bev xxx

Ps you are not a terrible person but a terrific one ok? xx

Michelle1974 profile image
Michelle1974 in reply to

So are you Bev and I really look forward to meeting you.

I looked at your beautiful picture you posted last night and I had to look twice as I thought you were my mum only 10+ years younger.

I can't get over the likeness I can see from your pic. Will PM you and when we meet I will show you a picture of my mum. I will look to see if I have one to show you on here,I know my mum would not mind.

She goes on the baby bloomer site? All I know about it is she met her lovely new partner on it,they meet up in groups ( for safety ) and after around 12 months this gentleman sold up in Manchester moved into a new flat with mum and they have been together for nearly 10 years.

So you do hear some lovely stories on some sites,it's all about trust and I think I can safely say everyone who I have come across is more than genuine and kind.

Hugs,hugs, and try not to pass my germs on

Michelle

X x

in reply to Michelle1974

Phew Michelle I will cancel the heavy mob now you are back :) You had me worried chuck! Nice to see ya to see ya nice.

Thanks for being so nice about my picture - I hate the way I look and think I am ugly. I'm sure your mum isn't though. Good on her for finding love in her later years - that's fantastic. Bring your mum alone when we meet and we will compare mugs :d

Hope you are well at the moment. Lots of love and hugs Bev xxx

celtic2746 profile image
celtic2746

hi michelle please dont think you have ruined anything and please dont remove yourself from this forum i agree with bev theres nothing wrong with a bit of humour ! as in sending the heavy mob round dont worry bevs a pussy cat really lol ! please continue to contribute to the forum and get as much out of it than we all do ! take care michelle and keep up your posts ! david x

Michelle1974 profile image
Michelle1974 in reply to celtic2746

Hi David, I hope you are in an good place at the moment,don't forget David you can post me and tell me if things have got you down etc,I would always try and help you feel better if I could.

Thank you for your reply.speak soon

Michelle x x

kazmac007 profile image
kazmac007

Hi, please please please don't remove yourself from this forum. I don't know what post you are talking about as I haven't been on here for a while. It hurts me to read how much you are punishing yourself over a posting. You are not a waste of space. You are a beautiful person. This forum is here to bring people together to give friendship, support and encouragement to each other. I hope that you can stop beating yourself up for sharing your thoughts with us. As others have said you haven't offended anyone and there is no need to punish yourself anymore. Please stop apologising for your feelings and thoughts that you have shared on here. That is the whole point of this forum.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with any humour. Life would be dull and boring without it.

I am hoping that this has helped you see that this forum is full of friendly people who only want to help.

I want you to know that you are not alone and that you have friends on here that you just haven't met yet. I hope I can be counted as one of them.

Take good care of you

Karen x

Photogeek profile image
Photogeek in reply to kazmac007

Hi Karen what a lovely kind Post, thanks for your bigness of heart.

Hannah x

Michelle1974 profile image
Michelle1974 in reply to kazmac007

Karen, I would love to count you into being a friend you are very,very, kind.

Not really knowing me yet you could have just read it and ignored it, for reading it,giving me kind thoughts has cheered me up no end.

Will message again

Love michelle. X x

Photogeek profile image
Photogeek

Hi Michelle please do Not leave the site. Anyone with any sense or sense

Of humour could see that you were trying to lighten things up. There is nothing

Wrong with that and poor St Valentine himself would be very annoyed to

Think that this Forum was losing its sense of humour.

You didn't offend me at all, and anyway St Valentine's Day is a big day and it's

All about love and chocolates and we too must show love to each other on

This Forum.

Michelle life is hard enough with Depression so anything that makes us smile

Is great. You will always find people who don't get it because they take things too

Literally and haven't been blessed with a sense of humour.

So on that note I would say you are a lovely caring lady who cheers me up🍫

And makes me laugh. So laughing and chocolate are what my Dr. Has ordered

Michelle you have not ruined anything so get that idea out of your head immediately

Before I send my Irish militia over to force feed youchocolate.

Warm healing hugs💝💝💝📀

Hannah xx

Michelle1974 profile image
Michelle1974 in reply to Photogeek

Hi Hannah

Thank you for you kind response.

Gary ( my husband of 22 yrs ) and I met when I was only 15 years,he was a good family friend and my Dad was so poorly at the time and I have a brother with Cerebral Palsy who is quite severely challenged ,he is unable to walk or talk,toilet himself etc and needs 24 hr care. As Gary was a grown up sensible 19 yr old he was a big help as mum can't drive and we were relatively young siblings to David ( my brother ) so mum welcomed the extra help,in the end we just fell into being girlfriend/ boyfriend he moved in and had the spare room and as soon as I turned 16 yrs my mum and dad let our relationship grow and then with me at 17 yrs old mum and dad said I could go to Paris for Valentines weekend with Gary of course. We knew we were going to get engaged in Paris but never told anyone. We were young and neither of us had a lot of confidence. We arrived early evening and it was getting dark and we realised to access anything we would need transport as the hotel restaurant was closed and all we found was a little shop selling rubbish really but we spotted Mars bars so we bought two,starving as we had not eaten for ages we also found something that looked like crisps and bought our shopping.

We went back to the room had our mars bars and crisps with a can of coke and we were so so fed up and disillusioned we just pushed the twin beds together and went to bed ,it was around 9 pm so Gary said shall we get engaged now so you can wear your ring to cheer me up. So Gary gave me my ring ,called ourselves engaged and fell asleep.

But we were getting engaged on The 14th on a river and dine cruise so he had the ring back and asked me again.

To keep up with the story of romance we told everyone our anniversary is Valentines Day but we know different,so yes Valentines can be a big ,celebrated day for those who tell the truth but we broke the tradition and got engaged on the 13th and it was a Friday. Six handsome,respectful and kind boys then followed,one by one until the last two.

I would like to share this story of the early engagement to all the other lovely people I have spoken to on this site Bev, Caroline and many many lovely people

Sending thanks and love

Michelle

X x

Photogeek profile image
Photogeek in reply to Michelle1974

Hi Michelle thanks for mail, It's such a lovely romantic

Story , it's like one you would read in a magazine. Paris Ah

And the bit about the Mars bar and you both starving , that's so

Lovely.

Michelle my parents were married for over 63 years and it was great.

My Mum had 6 of us and never felt she had a big family . I always

Think that anyone who has a good marriage and children is very

Blessed. I'm sure Gary admires you, Michelle I love hearing people's

Stories as it helps us to unewsstand them too.

I am so glad that you got in touch as really life is far too short

For any arguments about silly stuff.

I'm tired myself tonight and am off bed soon. Talk soon and

I hope your feeling fairly well tonight , look after yourself

Really well please.

Hugs

Hannah🍰🍷

Suzie40 profile image
Suzie40

Well I can't actually read your post, but I have a funny feeling it will have adopted the kind of black humour that I really enjoy!

As for you leaving, please don't. I have really enjoyed starting to get to know you on this forum and I don't think you should go anywhere. Much love x

Michelle1974 profile image
Michelle1974 in reply to Suzie40

Lucy, you are such a kind person and house proud ( I wish it was catching over the forum) with a pretty young lady of a daughter and o lovely cat who's house looks better than mine,.

You have been through something that is difficult to cope with even if you had never been depressed or even just fed up.

I will send you my love now and Saturday via these messages and I hope they arrive separately unlike the buses of course.

Keep going I don't know how hard and confusing it must be for you but on face value you are super! !

Apart from the already sent love have a hug as well.

Michelle x x

CarolineLondon profile image
CarolineLondon

No No No ...Leaving Denied! Come on Michelle, we all love you and pllllease dont say your a loser, you couldn't be a loser if you tried. In all fairness to the lady who got upset about your post she just got it wrong and said so, she thought it was marketing.

Your post was witty and fun and we like that here and we like you, for heavens sake isn't life in the real world hard enough, we need you here and hopefully you need us, we all contribute.

I know I say this again and again but honestly Michelle you really cant please all the people all the time, I upset people left right and center without meaning to do so, no one is perfect.

But you are a beautiful human being and I have no doubt you have all sorts of talents we have yet to see. I for one would like to find out about you and your life and am genuinely interested in your welfare, so please sit down have a cuppa and share you worries when you need to, it helps to have others who can help you with the load from time to time.

Can I tell you something, right now I have very few friends (my own choice or bad choices I have made) and certainly no one in my real life I can talk to about my problems (literally). Im going through some very tough times and this site helps me feel less alone. I know I can come here and play with my dearest friends and I hope that includes you.

Different people have different ways of dealing with stress, sometimes mine is to play and joke. Take today for instance, I woke feeling so bad if someone had a painless way of ending it I would consider it...so I have resolved to have a cuppa and listen to 'Hancocks Half Hour' on the radio, it wont make it all alright but it will allow me to move on and hopefully upward.

NEVER EVER give up the fight to be who you are, the special unique person you are. Michelle there is literally only ONE YOU on the planet and that makes you invaluable, your networth on the open market is Priceless.

Please stay... Id really like to hear we can continue to be friends, I would value your friendship as I value all my dear friends on this site.

Im sending a BIG HUG and KISS. Lets turn this around and look for a happier day you and I. Post here will help you and is the right place for you.

Right 'Hancock's half hour' and then off to see the mother! Wish me luck...lol.

LOOOOTS and LOTS of LOVE Michelle xx

Michelle1974 profile image
Michelle1974 in reply to CarolineLondon

Caroline I thank you so much for making me feel better about the situation and myself ,you to are kind and you always come across with patience. I also admire you for being so clever. I must tell you incase I disappear for 10 mins,

I have a fan ( electrical one be it a very temperamental fan,move the cord around into correct position it has chosen that day and you get started then leave well alone for safety's sake and my temperature control) I picked up my cup of tea as I began your reply and getting into what I am doing no thought of the cup of tea in my hand,took a lovely substantial mouthful a minute ago and it was like fridge temperature,I'm not that lady like but even on my own with my own mug I could not spit it back in. So I swallowed and heaved and goy an extra strong mint as soon as I could. I think it's done the job,it was real gross,why don't I cool down so quick? It's all to do with science ( I said that to make myself feel clever) it's just that science and myself don't understand each other.

I wish I was as clever as you,I like to believe I have more common sense than others but as far as educational talk goes I need to start my schooling again.

Sorry quickly explain fan and temperature. I have felt poorly for two weeks and yesterday sent off a sample to the hospital to see if I had a urine infection.

A couple of hour later the doctor phoned and said by testing the sample myself you have something nasty,send your husband to get your prescription and he said he would still send it off.

A nurse came out to me yesterday and listened to my chest and she said it's a chest infection as well. So I have been feeling like poo for a while now.

The urine/ kidney infections are never ending and it's due to having the open tract into my bladder from negligent surgery when my twins were delivered.

They are so fascinating and special,I never knew I was carrying at all until nearly six months,still in my size 8 jeans no sickness etc but they were delivered four weeks early as I could not carry any longer . They both weighed 5 lbs and 5 oz.

Since then due to lack of mobility, the type of medications I take etc I have more than doubled in size but never mind I have a selection of curtains,king size quilt covers etc to wear and I never have the clash you get when two people have the same outfit on. The only thing that I have to watch out for is sitting in someone's house and matching their lounge curtains!!

The last time I went out was January 2nd to see my newest granddaughter ,no sorry I went out on the 5th to see my eldest granddaughter who is the sister of the other granddaughter as it was her Birthday and guess how old she is??

It was her first birthday! !

I love children but I don't like the idea of having them that young together,I know I had twins but it was just double / extra time doing the same job but the 1 yr old is on her feet and really wants to work out how this " new doll " works ,I don't envy them but they said it was all planned and done it by their own choice. I think I must be getting old,gorgeous little girls though bright blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair. I had all boys so it's nice to have granddaughters.

I am trying to get round to posting people to thank them for their support and tell that I respect them all,I respect everyone on this site.

I will leave it there for now otherwise reading all my waffle before bed it will keep you awake working it out,that's because of my grammar and punctuation.

Thanks Caroline,I feel better about my place in this group and value my place in it.

Speak/ text / message soon

Michelie giving you a big tight hug and saying thank you

X x

Photogeek profile image
Photogeek in reply to Michelle1974

Hi Michelle I am always amazed at the kindness and patience

Caroline has for everyone. She is a gem.

Hannah xx

CarolineLondon profile image
CarolineLondon in reply to Michelle1974

Thanks for sharing, sorry for the short reply but I have school tomorrow. You are obviously a very loved, very kind person and I meant every word.

And honestly Im not the smart if I was smarter I wouldnt be in the mess Im in now and my lovely BF wouldnt be walking all over me!

Sorry little outburst there off to bed XX

in reply to CarolineLondon

Michelle says thank you. :d Bev xx

Photogeek profile image
Photogeek

Hi Caroline good on you for that lovely Post to Michelle. Hope your ok

Too now. Some days can be tough. Be kind to yourself and try and see

The crazy absurdity of life.

Luv n hugs

Hannah xx

Catmag profile image
Catmag

Hi Michelle,

I don't know many on the forum too well, but I have never read anything, by anyone that upset me. This is a safe place to ask questions, get guidance, share the good & the bad. Sometimes it's just somewhere to have a rant & get things off your chest.

As the others have said, a sense of humour is always welcome. If not everyone gets that, it's a shame, but absolutely no reason for you to leave.

Anyway, if we're talking dark/ wierd sense of humour, there are a few of us in that category! Right Caroline?

Stay with us and take care. Catherine.

Michelle1974 profile image
Michelle1974 in reply to Catmag

Catherine

It is really nice to meet you and have your support,I thank you for that.

I do know I am super sensitive at times and my husband said to when I read it to him " so" ,he has always worked as a Turf Accountant for employment( he has had to leave that work for a while to look after me but he still has blogs and twitter etc, he said to be part of these groups you take it in your stride, did the lady really want to hurt you? No he said but everybody is different and respect them for that. Just carry on put it behind you and as for Jue I didn't mean to give her the impression she got and he hopes Jue can be reasonable with her thoughts.

Bev has been so kind,yet not biased,obviously it made her upset as I was so upset. Take Jue's view and move on,I know Bev felt for me and I must say she has the balance just right and she is wonderful if you are upset for whatever reason,such a Fentastic lady with life experience and always willing to listen, Caroline has been amazing also,she keeps me smiling and I admit to not being over intelligent and her posts keep my brain working.

Even yourself when this has been our first communication,everybody on here has something to offer and to me it's almost like meeting up with people to chat and that is what I am missing since being un well and original friends I had ran as if I had something catching.

I feel like a martyr but everyone please believe I am upbeat,I try not to cause trouble,I have a sense of humour but I would never use the chance to laugh at anyone else's expensive,it's normally at my own!!

Thanks for the post Catherine and here is to many more.

Hugs Michelle x

Thanks Michelle that's very kind of you. Life experience I do have coz I'm an old f.... :) I think one thing which comes from life is understanding and never dissing someone elses feelings or reality. I hate people doing that to me! Also I can't stand being ganged up on so I never do that to anyone else no matter how daft they are being.

Will tell you a secret - I have a good education but I do silly things all the time so that is nothing to do with anything. I used to call myself 'silly cow' under my breath now it's 'silly cow cow' coz it gets me doubly frustrated!

Tell you something else when I didn't see you for the a while I read your intro for the first time. I am amazed at you having 6 boys but mostly at your illnesses. I think I would be stark staring mad at what you have to put up with. It's a miracle you have kept your sanity and your sense of humour. You are a lovely kind person I am happy to call a friend. Lots of love and hugs

Bev xxx

Michelle1974 profile image
Michelle1974 in reply to

Thanks Bev.

Your greeeeeeeat even better than frosties. Was that the advert ?I can remember it from somewhere.

You just seem so level headed all the time,never come across as bitter and not even in a bad mood.

Hope to see you soon Bev ,next week is half term so we will have a house full.

I have to let the twins out to meet their friends in the park, about 2-3 minutes away,they both have phones and always stick together and up for each other but I still hate it so it ends up with their friends here,we know the parents so we ring them to tell them there children are here and before it gets dark poor Gary has to start an un- paid taxi run taking them all home. It is amazing how many parents say let them walk home but as Gary and I both say if they have been here we see then home safely and if anyone is going to be in on their own they stay with us until the parents are back. We are talking about some of the boys and girls are only 11yrs old.

Must go Bev as I am selfish when I don't realise time,slept all day today,sometimes sleeping is all I want to do for fatigue reasons and the depression,worst thing is all these medicines that do it , I have taken for ten years and will never stop needing them.

iPad about to switch off in a min due to battery needing charging.

Quickly could I just ask you a favour, if you can see anyone I have not replied to would you tell them that I thank them all.

Night Bev ,see you in the morning now I know what you look like.

Love and hugs and many of them

X x x x

in reply to Michelle1974

Will do. So you wouldn't see me in the morning if you didn't know what I looked like? :d Bev xxx

Photogeek profile image
Photogeek

Bev I remeber seen f her gorgeous boys. Like you I would be in straight jacket and

To be a mother of 6 deserves a Gold Medal, I have a cat. Lol

I'm off to bed and happy that Michelle is back and Alls right with the world.

Night Bev

Hannah xx

in reply to Photogeek

Michelle says thank you. I am following my instructions :) Now Can I have my medal please? Bev xx

Phoenix2173 profile image
Phoenix2173

Dont be silly we all do silly things from time to time, You are not a waste of space and neither are you a loser so stop saying that. Sont punish yourself no matter what you did im sure that everyone on here fogives you just dont do it again what ever it was, I am sure that you just wanted to help, I forgive you,

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