I posted a question on here a while ago and got some great and helpful answers from people. It ended up with me going to contact my doctor surgery but I chickened out.
Basically for the few years I've been feeling very low. I've had a pretty tough life from being bullied through all my school years. I found it hard to make friends and people used to say I smell and spoke about me behind my back. My mum had 4 kids but after I was born she found it hard to cope which resulted in me being very ill and my parents divorcing and being brought up by my dad.
I have never really known happiness. I am 21 now and my life is a mess. I have never had a job (done some work experience but never resulted in a job) and find it hard to find work. I was good at the working alone parts but found working in a team and greeting people coming through the door unbearable. This hasn't helped my ability to find a job.
I have one friend who I have known on and off for years and we get along very well. But when it comes to other people who aren't family I find it very hard to talk to them and avoid social contact as often as I can. I hate crowds and feel as if the whole room is closing in. I also hate looking people in the eye and physical contact.
As I said in my other question I have been on a couple of dates but I've never had a boyfriend because I'm always too shy, find it hard to connect with them and if they try to touch me it worries me.
For the last few months especially I have been constantly on edge. I'm constantly thinking of bad things and can't stop myself from thinking them and they are taking over my life. I can't concentrate on anything even watching TV or reading a book. Sometime because I'm like this I go to sleep for a few hours during the day or evening just to get away from everything.
All I want is to be able to make a couple of friends, find a job and eventually have a boyfriend but with the way I am at the moment it's impossible.
I have looked at different mental illnesses on the internet and find I have symptoms from most of them. I was going to phone my doctors surgery but I was too worried that they would think I was wasting their time. Do you think I should contact them? At our surgery we phone the reception and a doctor phones back an hour later to ask about your symptoms instead of you booking an appointment straight away. What do I say to them? I don't even know how I should start.