I am Confused

I'm a 13 year old girl and I have been feeling confused lately. I have constantly been feeling that living everyday is becoming more of a chore than anything and not a blessing. I try to convince myself that every teenager goes through this and its nothing serious, but lately I feel like it's something more. Getting up in the morning is a huge struggle because I can't seem to find a reason TO get up and I have notice that I start to count the days down for no reason. I am always feeling insecure about everything and my appetite is slowly decreasing, (I stopped eating lunch and started eating after school instead.) I feel like I am just there, not really paying attention just letting life pass by. I have a hard time paying attention in school and catch myself day dreaming all the time. I would have thought that someone would've noticed my strange switch in personality, but my parents work such late hours so they can't. Maybe even my friends would notice, but I go to a small school and my friends are pretty judgmental and unconcern with me. I just feel lonely, tired for no reason, and feeling like screaming and crying all the time. I have looked up my symptoms and I don't want to self diagnose because I am pretty sure everyone goes through this as a teen, but I wanted an outsiders opinion. I would have talked to my parents about it, but I know they wouldn't believe me because they are the old fashion parents who might just think I am doing this for attention (and too scared to tell them.) I am not depressed or suicidal, but I hate to admit the thoughts do cross my mind sometime. I just want help, someone to tell me what is happening because I hate living like this.

7 Replies

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  • Hi

    It is sad that you are feeling depressed when you are so young - but NO, not every teenager goes through those kinds of feelings - though most go through some kind of self-doubt.

    You say your parents work late hours and that must be hard for you - although you are a teenager you are also still in need of parental attention and care so them not being around for you a lot of the time must be difficult and leave you feeling alone and wondering what life's all about.

    You say your friends are judgemental and unconcerned with you - that sounds as if you have good reason to feel lonely! However whatever the reasons it sounds as though you are definitely depressed and need someone to talk with who can understand how you are feeling, help you to think about WHY you are depressed and then help you to find ways to either alter those circumstances or to come to terms with them. It may be that your parents are not able to tolerate thinking about emotions and that may have left you growing up and feeling quite lonely and not understood by them despite their loving you.

    You say you are not depressed - but most people would be depressed in your circumstances, being lonely is very hard for most people to tolerate and if you have felt alone since being young then you will undoubtedly be depressed and need help to overcome that.

    What about seeing your GP in confidence and asking if he can refer you to someone who you can talk things through with, alternately you could yourself telephone the child and adolescent mental health services (don't worry about their title, all that means is they deal with psychological problems rather than physical ones!). You could explain to them that you need to talk with a counsellor or similar and could they either see you or advise you who to contact for a reasonably early appointment. If either of those are not satisfactory or take too long then those of us who use the site are likely to be able to support you meanwhile and also offer other suggestions as there is plenty of help around though it can be difficult to locate.

    Do seek help, it would be a shame to mess up your schooling as the effects of that are likely to be with you for life.

    Give yourself a hug from me, it took courage to write on the website but now you have made the first move.

    Suexxx

  • Hi Hun,

    I felt the same at your age. I remember telling my parents multiple times that I was depressed. I hated school, felt angry and deprerssed all the time, and struggled to get out of bed and also cried a lot. Even when out with friends I always thought about the next day or the future and dreaded it so was never happy. I was also very cynical and negative. I remember one time my parents said "Trust me, if you were depressed you wouldn't be able to get out of bed". I knew that they were wrong and what I was going through wasn't normal.

    And now I know I was right, I was depressed. I also had a disability which went unnoticed until I was 23, so that would have caused a lot of my childhood depression. My parents didn't know about these things at the time so it's not like they ignored me. Like you say, they may think it was a call for attention. But in this day and age, depression is rife and this didn't occur back in their day.

    I think a lot of teenagers can go through depression, but if this carries on perhaps you should speak to your doctor? Or a teacher or school psychologist?

    I just want you to know you're not alone. I was bad at your age but I didn't get help because I didn't know there was any help. I would advise you see your doctor or speak to someone you can trust.

    Make sure you eat healthily, cut down ont he fizzy drinks, exercise regularly and get 8 hours sleep a night if possible. Doing all these things can help.

    Come back and speak to us if you need to xx

  • Hi,

    just what the others have said really. Take your feelings seriously, be kind to yourself, and talk to someone if you can. Remember it's not a failure to ask for help.

    Take care,

    Carmela x

    (( WantToChange: "Trust me, if you were depressed you wouldn't be able to get out of bed"

    I had something similar said to me when I was a teenager, and trying to explain to someone how I felt. It's one of those things that people say and it makes me so angry ---because of that person that I respected saying that, I shut my feelings inside and didn't really address my problem until much, much later --- when it had become an even bigger problem.))

  • hi hun,

    I've found a few helplines, trusted organisations, that I hope might help you.

    regards,

    hamble.

    ChildLine

    Helpline: 0808 11 11

    childline.org.uk

    Depression and feeling sad

    ChildLine is a counselling service for children and young people. You can contact ChildLine in these ways: You can phone on 0800 1111, send us an email, have a 1-2-1 chat with us, send a message to Ask Sam and you can post messages to the ChildLine message boards. You can contact ChildLine about anything - no problem is too big or too small. If you are feeling scared or out of control or just want to talk to someone, you can contact ChildLine.

    YoungMinds

    Helpline: 0808 802 5544

    youngminds.org.uk

    Depression

    Parents' Information Service gives advice to parents or carers who may be concerned about the mental health or emotional well being of a child or young person.

    Get Connected

    Freephone: 0808 808 4994 (1pm - 11pm)

    getconnected.org

    Confidential National helpline for young people under 25 helps them work out what they need most. Can put them in touch with places that can help - whatever the issue.

    Papyrus

    Papyrus HOPElineUK – 0800 068 41 41

    papyrus-uk.org

    Support for those dealing with suicide, depression or emotional distress – particularly teenagers and young adults.

  • That's a really great idea, I heard a programme on radio 4 of course :-) That said if you can catch depression early enough it can be stopped! You need to be a victim of it in the rest of your life.

    :-)

    Good Luck and well done for sharing XX

  • "Not really paying attention just letting life pass by" Could you be suffering from attention deficit disorder? I get the impression you're unconsciously being stressed out. Have you ever tried guided meditation to relieve your stress and relax? Do a keyword search in YouTube for "guided meditation." It helps! Here is one that I like:

    Hope you feel better! :)

  • Well I find if difficult that a 13 year old has written this post you must be very bright (tell your parents 1st not this site) how you feel is important and you can express your feelings very well - just tell your Mum.

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