I’ve had every treatment going and I seem to be OK sometimes but then 1 incident will tip me into the abyss of depression and self-pity.
I just wanted to say here that for me it’s all a waste of time. I have to accept that I am an unpleasant person who deserves what I get.
As I type this I think of the techniques I’ve been taught (like CBT) to counter my thought patterns but I can’t do it. I just can’t be bothered to do anything.
I’m supposed to be at work but when I got there I realised I’d forgotten my security pass and keys so I’ve had to come all the way back home. I had a tantrum, shouting and smashing my fist repeatedly into my car window.
This is how I really am rather than the persona I display to others. I really am a waste of space, oxygen and life.
No-one needs to reply – there’s nothing you can say or do that will make any difference. I wanted to post this to let others with a similar situation know that there is no solution – you’re stuck with it until you have the courage to kill yourself or you die anyway.