I presume it's part and parcel of being depressed but things that gave me great pleasure or left fantastic memories with me hurts so much now as I am in a bad place and I was happy when those memories were being made.
I look at my physical and mental state now and I could cry and never stop.
The same way as people block out terrible memories I have to do for my good ones.
Not because it gives me an excuse to be miserable or gain attention but it's the only way I can face the person in the mirror today.
I almost wish the good memories were someone else's and not mine.
From places to food,from days and nights out,to sounds,smells and tastes they all bring it back to me,there are films and music I can not cope with and I have to detach myself away from them if I can't escape them. It's even become as bad that I have changed my perfume and even food.
I do fool myself with the thought of the day I can handle positive things from the past and just feel okay about it I will be turning a corner.
I could be physically sick sometimes when something triggers off a good memory from the past it gets to me that much.
So for me the day I welcome all the good memories back will be when I feel my old self again.
Has or does anyone else out there find this happening to them.
Tell me I am not the only one
Best wishes to all forum members and thank you for reading my posts.
Photo of my identical twin boys on their first day at senior school.
Joseph Saul on the left , Samuel Josiah on the right.
Samuel Josiah is the older one by one minute.